Visible Monsters

I'm signing myself up for parts for school productions, and I'm getting strange looks from everyone. I suppose they can't imagine me auditioning, or they've heard the rumors about me. My family. The party. My uncle. My aunt. My granddad. Madeline.

"The Summer of '69." I groan and whip out my cell phone while trying to finish writing my name. "Hello?" I answer, still browsing at the hundreds of lists up for parts. "Romeo and Juliet" here, "1984" there.

"Hey. Can you do me a favor?"

"What?" I'm still scribbling my name onto practically every list there is. I don't care if it's for servant one, Mercutio, or even Romeo. I'm just writing my name down, wherever there's a spot.

"Take care of Ainsley for me."

"She's your little sister. She's your responsibility." More strange stares from on-lookers as I write my name under "Prince."

"I have school, and you don't today. So please, can you take care of her?" I can't tell him I'm busy, so I just tell him I'll meet him in the park half an hour before the lecture. I have ten minutes to sprint to the center of Santa Monica. I jog around, looking around for Cavanaugh Park. Sometimes I wish I could drive, instead of magically running into mailboxes and lamp posts. I guess I just lack luck.

There they are, Arin looking like he needs to use the restroom in the way he's turning around, scouting out the area. Ainsley is out watching the pigeons. I wave, and Arin almost tackles me. "Thankyousomuchyou'realifesaver," he says in one breath, already heading back to his new Nissan. I nod and groan inwardly, but Ainsley becomes uninterested in the pigeons.

"Tawny!" she screeches, latching onto my knee. I can't help but smile.

"Hey. How're you today?"

"I'm good," she says, her hands at the hem of her pale blue dress. "I want to feed the birds, Tawny!" She runs towards the pigeons, arms out, like an airplane. She makes sputtering noises, to be slightly more realistic.

"Sorry, hon. But I don't have anything to feed them with." No bread. No seeds. I should've come prepared. Ainsley just smiles back, nodding. I feel guilty, though I should really be blaming Arin for this. It's his fault she's stuck here with me in the first place.

Ainsley goes back towards the pigeons, arms out like an airplane, sputtering her lips as she pretends to buzz around. I sit on the bench, not too far away, just watching her have fun. I remember doing that when I was thirteen. Uncle Paul just laughed and joined me. I think the best part about him was he was willing to do anything. Even bungee jumping, as old as heis was.

The bench creaks as someone sits next to me. "Hey."

"Hey," I reply, still watching Ainsley laugh as the pigeons fly away to a different spot. I'm glad the geese aren't here, or she could get seriously injured.

"...Are you mad at me?" Andrew asks, which causes me to look at him. He's watching Ainsley too. He's frowning.

"You've been gone for a month." I shrug, watching Ainsley run over to a little blonde girl in pigtails. They start chasing the birds together, giggling. The blonde girl's mother walks up to Ainsley and says something, and Ainsley points to me. The woman gives me a small wave, which I return. "You could've said something."

"I didn't think you'd miss me." Ainsley's coming towards us, and we drop the conversation. She isn't as spunky and excited as before. Her cheeks are now red as she stares at her little black shoes. "Hey there, Ainsley," Andrew greets, smiling.

"Hi, Andrew," Ainsley says shyly, mumbling to her shoes. She quickly turns to me. "Tawny, can I go to Emily's house?" she asks, her voice now ten times louder. "Her mommy says she'll drop me off at home."

I look over at the woman, who nods. I smile, mouthing "thank you." I touch Ainsley's shoulder. "Sure thing, honey. Have fun, okay?" She nods vigorously, and runs off towards Emily and her mother.

"I guess we're alone now."

"I guess so." I slick back my hair and tie it in a bun. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What? That I was going to be out of the state for a month?" I nod. "Well, I thought you were mad, so I didn't tell you. Thought you'd be glad to not have me around for a bit."

I just realize I've been miserable for a month, because he hasn't been here. Am I so dependent on Andrew?

"Dez saw you last week." He raises his eyebrows. "She said you waved to her when she shouted your name." He nods, and I glare at him. "She said you were with me." He gives me a weird look.

"But I wasn't with you at all last week."

"Who is she?" I pry.

"A friend."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Andrew Rose McMahon, you cannot keep secrets from me. Is she your new girlfriend?"

"No! Nothing like that." He laughs. "She has a boyfriend. She's just a good friend of mine that I met down at the airport, surprisingly."

"What's her name?"

"Arin Delaney."

Another Arin? Oh, how confusing.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks again, fear in his voice.

I nod. Am I lying to him? Quite possibly.

"Please don't be mad. I didn't mean to..." Andrew sighs. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking, and I realized something. Something rather important."

I stare at the pigeons poking around in the grass, now hopping towards the bread crumbs all over the sidewalk area. "Oh?"

"...I don't want to be alone anymore."