Visible Monsters
Unwell
Aunt Iliana and I decide we need to talk. Since I've been meeting with Andrew, I started to talk to her less. She finds nothing wrong with this, but she thinks I may like ANdrew.I think I may be growing dependent on someone with blond hair and blue eyes. A spacy pianist who knows Tawny Behrend too well.
"Well, I think you like him," Aunt Iliana says, smiling. She sips her morning tea.
She's wrong. Tawny Behrend doesn't "like" men anymore. Hell, some consider her asexual or something. Not liking someone for almost three years shows I have no interest in dating. I'm fine by myself.
"He seems absolutely wonderful, Tawn. Daphne's described him to me. You are great for each other." She holds my hand. "Tawn, I want you to be happy again. You seem so much...better than you did months ago."
No bloodshot eyes. No sunglasses after the sun goes down. No walks at four AM in the morning. Only Andrew in the coffee shop during the mid afternoons. Daphne and Arin and sometimes Andrew during the evenings. I've become a little more social, and I've made an acquaintance. Her name is Desiree. She's an interesting character. Whenever I see her, she's usually hanging out by the bar near the airport, smoking a couple of cigarettes with her "bar friends."
I tell Aunt Iliana that I'm going to leave, and we exchange goodbyes. To be honest, I don't feel too well today. If I tell Aunt Iliana that I feel ill, she would tell me to go to bed. She'd look after me. The last thing I want to do is be a burden to my aunt.
I go home and sleep, trying to count sheep or keep my mind occupied. I wake up, and it's about one, but I jolt awake from the sound of the doorbell. Obnoxious ringing can be ignored for so long. I rub my eyes and answer it. "Come in," I mumble, trudging towards the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" Andrew asks, sitting at the table. He puts an arm around me. "You don't look well. Let's get you upstairs." He helps me up to my bedroom, but I sit up. He tells me to lay down. I say I'm fine. "You have a fever," Andrew replies, the back of his hand touching my forehead. "You are not fine. I'll go find some Tylenol." He walks out of the room, and I sigh. I check my phone to see if anyone has called me:
Mom: three times
Daphne: eight times
Eleven new voice messages.
I instinctively listen to the messages, hearing my mother's god-awful voice first. She's shouting into the phone about me visiting her sometime, but also lecturing me about how useless I am. Andrew walks in as I hold my cellular phone an arm's length away from my ear. He watches me and says nothing. I don't look at him as I finish listening to her lecture. Before the second one turns on, Andrew grabs my cell phone from me. "Who was that?" he asks. Not angry.
Not yet.
"No one." He's already figured it out. The screen most likely reads:
Mom: two times
Daphne: eight times
Ten new voice messages.
"It wasn't Daphne." He can't possibly begin to understand my family life. My real family life. He looks at me. "Was it...?"
I say nothing.
RING. Saved by Daphne.
Andrew sets my phone down on the nightstand. "I'll answer that. You stay put." I hear him stomping down the stairs.
Time to eavesdrop.
I watch from the top of the stairs, hearing a loud greeting from Daphne. "What are you doing here?" she asks Andrew, a thump echoing throughout the first floor. She most likely went shopping for some new accessories. "And where's my darling Tawny? I haven't seen her all day!"
"She has a mild fever." Andrew and Daphne stand near the staircase. I can see Andrew's blond hair and his pale yellow shirt. I can seemy Daphne's blue and white summer dress. The one that I wore two years ago. The one I gave to her when I stopped wearing outfits that weren't jeans and a t-shirt. I see Andrew start to stare at his flip-flops.
"...Does she know yet?"
His cheeks turn pink. "No, she doesn't." Pause. "Tawny needs some cold medicine. Or something." Daphne leaves, and Andrew follows. I'm lost. Do I know what yet? Are they scheming? I hear some shuffling, and Andrew's on his way back up. I sprint to my room and hop in bed. I feel dizzy.
He hands me a cup of water and a bottle of Tylenol. "How many am I supposed to take?" The dizziness doesn't wear off, so I can't read the bottle. Even the big bold letters are illegible. Andrew holds up two fingers.
I pop two pills and guzzle down the water. I don't feel like sleeping just yet.
"Take it easy, and don't fight the pill," Andrew warns, stroking my head. "Because last time I fought a sedative, I had a strange experience."
"Oh really?" I turn around, eyebrows raised.
"I fought Ambien, and I had a delusional scuffle with my notebook." We laugh, and he touches my hand. "Sleep, okay?" He gets up, but I reach for his hand.
"Drew, stay with me."
He smiles and wraps his arms around me. He slips into the bed, my head on his chest. It's strange to be this close to someone.
It's strange to be with someone again.
"Well, I think you like him," Aunt Iliana says, smiling. She sips her morning tea.
She's wrong. Tawny Behrend doesn't "like" men anymore. Hell, some consider her asexual or something. Not liking someone for almost three years shows I have no interest in dating. I'm fine by myself.
"He seems absolutely wonderful, Tawn. Daphne's described him to me. You are great for each other." She holds my hand. "Tawn, I want you to be happy again. You seem so much...better than you did months ago."
No bloodshot eyes. No sunglasses after the sun goes down. No walks at four AM in the morning. Only Andrew in the coffee shop during the mid afternoons. Daphne and Arin and sometimes Andrew during the evenings. I've become a little more social, and I've made an acquaintance. Her name is Desiree. She's an interesting character. Whenever I see her, she's usually hanging out by the bar near the airport, smoking a couple of cigarettes with her "bar friends."
I tell Aunt Iliana that I'm going to leave, and we exchange goodbyes. To be honest, I don't feel too well today. If I tell Aunt Iliana that I feel ill, she would tell me to go to bed. She'd look after me. The last thing I want to do is be a burden to my aunt.
I go home and sleep, trying to count sheep or keep my mind occupied. I wake up, and it's about one, but I jolt awake from the sound of the doorbell. Obnoxious ringing can be ignored for so long. I rub my eyes and answer it. "Come in," I mumble, trudging towards the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" Andrew asks, sitting at the table. He puts an arm around me. "You don't look well. Let's get you upstairs." He helps me up to my bedroom, but I sit up. He tells me to lay down. I say I'm fine. "You have a fever," Andrew replies, the back of his hand touching my forehead. "You are not fine. I'll go find some Tylenol." He walks out of the room, and I sigh. I check my phone to see if anyone has called me:
Mom: three times
Daphne: eight times
Eleven new voice messages.
I instinctively listen to the messages, hearing my mother's god-awful voice first. She's shouting into the phone about me visiting her sometime, but also lecturing me about how useless I am. Andrew walks in as I hold my cellular phone an arm's length away from my ear. He watches me and says nothing. I don't look at him as I finish listening to her lecture. Before the second one turns on, Andrew grabs my cell phone from me. "Who was that?" he asks. Not angry.
Not yet.
"No one." He's already figured it out. The screen most likely reads:
Mom: two times
Daphne: eight times
Ten new voice messages.
"It wasn't Daphne." He can't possibly begin to understand my family life. My real family life. He looks at me. "Was it...?"
I say nothing.
RING. Saved by Daphne.
Andrew sets my phone down on the nightstand. "I'll answer that. You stay put." I hear him stomping down the stairs.
Time to eavesdrop.
I watch from the top of the stairs, hearing a loud greeting from Daphne. "What are you doing here?" she asks Andrew, a thump echoing throughout the first floor. She most likely went shopping for some new accessories. "And where's my darling Tawny? I haven't seen her all day!"
"She has a mild fever." Andrew and Daphne stand near the staircase. I can see Andrew's blond hair and his pale yellow shirt. I can seemy Daphne's blue and white summer dress. The one that I wore two years ago. The one I gave to her when I stopped wearing outfits that weren't jeans and a t-shirt. I see Andrew start to stare at his flip-flops.
"...Does she know yet?"
His cheeks turn pink. "No, she doesn't." Pause. "Tawny needs some cold medicine. Or something." Daphne leaves, and Andrew follows. I'm lost. Do I know what yet? Are they scheming? I hear some shuffling, and Andrew's on his way back up. I sprint to my room and hop in bed. I feel dizzy.
He hands me a cup of water and a bottle of Tylenol. "How many am I supposed to take?" The dizziness doesn't wear off, so I can't read the bottle. Even the big bold letters are illegible. Andrew holds up two fingers.
I pop two pills and guzzle down the water. I don't feel like sleeping just yet.
"Take it easy, and don't fight the pill," Andrew warns, stroking my head. "Because last time I fought a sedative, I had a strange experience."
"Oh really?" I turn around, eyebrows raised.
"I fought Ambien, and I had a delusional scuffle with my notebook." We laugh, and he touches my hand. "Sleep, okay?" He gets up, but I reach for his hand.
"Drew, stay with me."
He smiles and wraps his arms around me. He slips into the bed, my head on his chest. It's strange to be this close to someone.
It's strange to be with someone again.
♠ ♠ ♠
:) Comments would be awesome!