Drunk in Paris

“Why is it that whenever we try to do something it never gets done?”
I smiled as Billie pulled me so close to him I was literally lying down on top of his naked chest.
“Because we always end up having great sex”
I shook my head at his smutty smile.
“Don’t think sex will get you off the hook…”
Billie grinned underneath my stern glance.
“Damn, you see it normally works.”
My eyebrow rose and he chuckled, threading his fingers through my hair.
“I’m sorry, really, I thought I could just sort it all out when I got home and we’ll start from where we left off.”
I swallowed, “What makes you think I want to start from where we left off?”
“Are you seriously asking me that question when about four seconds ago half of Paris could hear how much you love me?”
I blushed, “I may be a really good actor.”
Billie threaded his fingers further through my hair, “The nail marks on my back suggest different.”
Giggling I took hold of his hand that had become buried amongst the black mass of my curls. “Sexual behaviour aside, we need to talk.”
He nodded ever so slightly, “Okay.”
“I want to know where we are, what’s going to happen now?” I sighed pulling his hand to my face and kissing each fingertip gently. He watched me with interest before answering.
“Well…I dunno, do you want to, well, take it slow and then as soon as I can I can come and see you? Or you can come and see me?”
My heart thudded, “yes, I’d like that.”
He sighed, bringing me even closer to his bare tattooed skin.
“Good.”
He kissed the top of my head before shifting slightly, “So what’s for dinner?”
I shook my head, “I think we’ll have to order in…”
He chuckled, “With all that noise I don’t think anyone will want to venture to this apartment for a while…”
“Oh well, that doesn’t sound too bad” I smiled.
He sniggered and I slowly rolled off of him.
My eyes revolved around the bedroom, fixing on the black guitar case resting in the corner by the wardrobe.
“You brought your guitar?” I asked shifting upwards to lean on my elbow and get a better view of his face.
“Yeah, I bring it encase inspiration hits.”
His eyes closed for a moment and I bit my lip in anticipation, dare I ask?
“Billie…”
“mmm” he moaned, eyes still shut, right hand twining with my left.
“Will you…will you play me something?”
He smiled slowly before answering me, “What do you want me to play for you?”
I sat up; crossing my legs and fixing my bra strap that had flopped down from my shoulder.
“I don’t know, just, play me something”
He smiled again, not moving from his position.
“Billie...go on…it’s your fault my amazing dinner burnt.”

He made a half grunt half chuckle noise and swiftly swung his body over the side of the bed. I watched him, clad only in his boxer shorts as he plodded over to the case, barefoot on wooden floor. He hummed as he began unclipping the fastenings, carefully removing the acoustic guitar, tuning the pegs as he dawdled back over to the bed.
His eyes finally met mine when he sat down comfortably opposite me, mirroring my crosses legs, the guitar placed across his thigh and denting the mattress slightly with his weight.
His eyes traced my underwear before he smiled, “Okay, what should I play you?”
I shrugged, “You’re the musician, any inspiration hitting you right now?”
Billie’s eyebrow rose, “Well a hell of a lot actually, 90% of it coming from that underwear…but…well…”
I smiled, “What?”
“You can’t laugh, promise?”
I nodded.
“It’s cheesy and the band is a bit shit, well a lot shit, but…yeah…it’s sprung to my head so…”
“Just play it. I won’t know who they are…”
Billie grinned, “That’s true…” he turned down to his guitar and I sat up, waiting for him to strike the first chord.
“Gah…its’ so embarrassing playing just for you…”
“Go on please…”
Silence erupted for a moment as he flicked a few strands of long hair from his eyes before biting his bottom lip.
“Okay…”
He began to play, and the beautiful strum of the guitar chords filled the room. I watched in fascination as his skilled fingers moved around the neck of the guitar.

“And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now”

My breath hitched as his sweet husky voice sang the words that seemed so relevant to this moment and the feelings that had suddenly erupted from the dormancy that his absence had left. I stared at him as he sang over the melody erupted from his fingertips…

“And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight”

His eyes were squeezed shut in concentration; his colorful muscular arms strumming the instrument in an energy that made everything else in the room seem so insignificant. His black hair contrasted wildly with my cream duvet and walls, his pale skin half hidden between the great chestnut colors of the guitar, those words however, hearing him sing those words made my ears ring and my body freeze…

“And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am”

He was singing from his soul, the energy flowing from him made it felt like he was playing his last performance, that beautiful poignant voice, I obviously didn’t know what I had unleashed. How could I ever doubt his truth when he could pour out his whole essence so magnificently? I felt tears prick against my eyelids as he finally opened those thick black lashes to connect with my watery brown eyes. He stared at me intensely, forcing me to believe every word…

“And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive”

He stopped singing for what seemed like only a second before opening his mouth again to gush out these perfect lyrics, his eyes still fixed upon me. A power sparking behind them that terrified and shrouded me in something close to adoration…

“I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.”

He stopped singing, the last chord was struck moments ago but the vibration still rang in the air. I smiled at him as his face looked for my reaction; he appeared on edge, how would I react to him showing me something so passionate?
“Did you like it?” he asked, brilliant jade eyes gleaming…
I shifted forwards, before throwing myself across him and attaching my lips to his vehemently. The guitar twanged at my actions before it was carefully moved out of the way so he could be closer to me.
I pulled away softly as he whispered, “Now was that to shut me up or what?”
I giggled, “I loved it, I really did, thank you.”
He smiled, “Really?”
“Really” I smiled, tracing my fingers over his lips tenderly.
“Good coz for a moment there I assumed you were tearful because it was so bad…just…just don’t tell anyone that I sang the Goo Goo Dolls to you…especially Tre.”

I smacked him playfully on the arm, “Stop being awful, it was so lovely…and you know it was…it’s so wonderful to have you play for just me.”
He laughed mellifluously, “I like playing just for you while I’m on your bed and you’re in THAT underwear….”
I giggled as I kissed him again.
“I like having my bed converted into a small stage for you to sing to me…especially when you’re in your underwear, although a lot have people have seen you sing naked.”

He laughed, but I did love every second of that performance, it would definitely be imprinted in my mind forever. He was singing for me, he was singing to me with such fire and truth that the very impossible happened. I had fallen in love with him even more. Yes it was cheesy and soppy and the most clichéd thing in the world and Hallmark had indeed killed off anything close to romance, but for a moment, Billie Joe seemed to make it pure again, he revived the spirit of something that had been hidden for years in the words of poets like dear Baudelaire. I defy anyone to resist that feeling, no matter how many doubts or fears or worries you have, you get sucked in like a powerful vacuum and left to rot without the heart you have just given away completely.

***

“I guess this is it.”
I stared at him as he was teetering on the edge of the line for airport security.
He had waited as long as possible before he finally had to leave me to catch this flight home. The day had been amazingly austere, just like the Billie I had first fell in love with. We had sat in the vintage shop all day, trying on all the clothes and chatting to the few people who had popped in. Apparently word had gotten around that he was in the neighbourhood. Billie said he didn’t mind and he enjoyed just hanging around normally for a day.

It had been fun, but I don’t think I could feel as far from ‘fun’ as I do now.
His dark hair exploded under a black and white cap, his check shirt raggedly hugging his skinny frame, that bulging backpack weighing down his spine…
I took in that image and swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat.
Damn airport security, I wished I could have seen him safely on the plane, buckle him in, kiss his head tenderly…fly away with him to California.

He smiled sadly at me, waiting for that heartbreaking goodbye.
I pulled my coat tighter around my waist, folding my arms across my chest awkwardly.
“We’ll see each other real soon…I promise.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say and scared encase I started weeping thus making this whole situation ten times worse.
“Ava…come here…”
He flicked out his arms and I dashed forwards into the waiting embrace. My arms snaked up around his neck, bringing my body so close to him I could feel his heartbeat through that checked red shirt. I don’t know how long we stood there, him holding me tightly, those fingertips saying more than words ever could, but when he pulled away I felt like melting into my heels. I opened my mouth to speak,
“Goodb…”
He immediately reached forwards and placed his palm across my lips,
“It’s not goodbye, It’s see you later”
I nodded under his hand, smiling.
Our eyes meet for a moment before he leaned down and replaced his palm with those lips softly.
He turned suddenly and waved as he joined the long line of people waiting to go through the security check.
I clutched my purse tight in my hand as I stayed to watch him waddle on through the line, glancing at me every now and again with a smile.
I continued to watch him, he was now considerably further away.
He eventually began to walk through the security check, earning a body search as something was apparently continuing to beep each time he walked through the metal archway.
I giggled as I observed him through the glass; he rolled his eyes in amusement as the man bent down to feel and dab at his legs.
God I wished I was that security guy…

I didn’t move until he had walked right through the security area and beyond my sights, then, only then did I slowly turn on my heel and depart from the airport into the Parisian night sky.
I missed him already.

But I didn’t count on what I was about to find on my chest of drawers when I got home.

The small box of priceless earrings and a note, scribbled in his handwriting,
Dear Ava,
I know you said that you didn’t want these, but I want you to wear them and think of me. They are not a gift for anything else other than to show you how much I love you…it’s my way without words. (As I seem to suck at communicating verbally)
So please wear them.

I love you and will be seeing you very soon.
Billie Joe xxx

The crafty bastard…I suppose I’d have to wear them now.