The World Is Ugly

"Why did you leave?" My eyes narrowed in confussion, taking Gerard by the shoulders and pulling him off me. "What was so important, that you had to do it without telling me first?"

He sighed, pulling himself up and stepping away a little. "You know how when we were in grade school you wanted to be a rockstar, so you bought yourself a guitar and pretended you knew how to play it? You were one step closer to becoming what you wanted to be, and even though you didn't really know how to play it you still did. It was something you had to do in order to become you. Maybe it was something like that, maybe I couldn't tell you because if I had it would of changed what you wanted to be."

"Knowing what your doing doesn't mean I have to do it, Gerard."

"You don't understand," he groaned, rubbing the back of his head. "If you knew, it would of changed everything."

"To be honest, I'm not exactly living the life I planned out. I work at a shitty ass museum where I get paid just enough to stay alive. I sleep here, I hang out here in my spare time, and everything that has happened in the past five years is a blur becides this damn museum. I wouldn't mind it if everything was different."

"You don't understand."

"I understand that you left and told me nothing, not even goodbye. If you didn't want me in your life anymore all you had to do was tell me so. No matter what you want to do with your life, you can tell me. Hell, I could of helped you."

"No, you can't and never could of helped me. This is something I have to do alone, something I didn't expect to still be doing but am. If there's one thing I don't want, it's for you to get involved. I never wanted you out of my life, I just wanted you to still have one."

A sigh escaped my lips as I ran a hand through my hair, "How long are you here for?"

"I don't know. When I get a call, I go to work. I won't be here much longer then a week, at the longest. When do you get off work?"

"Around three."

"I'll pick you up at three thirty, we can go see a movie or something. Alright?"

My head nodded but my mind seemed to be screaming 'no'. I fell for this guy once and I didn't want to again. Sure, you can't exactly love someone after a week of knowing them but I already knew Gerard, I had known him since ninth grade. I wasn't really up for getting my heart ripped out again, too bad my body didn't seem to realize this.

"See you then," Gerard said excitedly, a sideways grin on his face. His hand came to gently touch my hip as he gently kissed me on the forehead, and as quickly as he came he was gone.

My eyes found their way to the clock; seven thirty. I had eight hours to kill.