Miserable at Best

The lights lay dim in Derek's hotel room as we lay there, I wrapped up in his arms as we talked. I honestly don't know how long we had laid there talking, but talking with Derek seemed to have been the most meaningful conversation since I've been here in the United States. He actually wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life, what was my dream, what I considered my happily ever after. For the first time in the past couple of weeks someone asked what I wanted, what was it that I wanted to do with my life. For the first time Alex wasn't brought up in conversation, and for once I could honestly say that I was happy with where I currently was.

I looked over Derek's body at the clock to see that the red LCD screen read five thirty. Derek was due to go on at seven forty-five. With All Time Low going on at nine I still had to go back to the room, take a shower, get ready and head on back to the venue to set up the merchandise table, shifting out of Derek's arm I wrapped around one of the sheets on the bed around myself as I went about the room gathering my clothes, Derek following my every action with his gaze. Before walking into the bathroom I glanced at Derek and told him, "Don't give me that look."

Through the door I could hear him laugh, "What look?"

Slipping on my clothes and fixing my hair to some extent I exited the bathroom, dropping the sheet onto the bed as I crawled over to him, "That look."

He smiled, before leaning forward and kissing me briefly, "Do you have to go?"

I rolled my eyes, "You act as if I'm running out on you. Bloody hell Derek, I'm going to be two floors below you. Plus you and I both need to get cleaned up before tonight. And I, need to go set up merch."

He pouted like a small would, "Fine."

I shook my head as I got off the bed and walked to the door, Derek trailing behind me holding the sheet I had discarded around his waist. I turned before reaching the door and saw the look in Derek's glazed over eyes, before I could say anything he spoke up, "I'm sorry Brook."

"What're you talking about?"

"I shouldn't have made you-"

Derek, you didn't make me do anything. I wanted to, so just stop alright?" I told him grabbing his face so that he would look at me, "I wanted to. Remember that." With that I quickly pecked him goodbye before walking out of his room, heading back to my own hoping that Alex wasn't waiting upon my arrival.

[--]

Sound check had gone fine as usual, but one thing was missing from our usual sound check. Three words: our merch girl. I hadn't seen Brook since earlier that morning when she tackled me over a fucking starbucks drink, which happened to be quite delicious, so I don't know how anyone could blame me. But besides that, our merch still was in boxes, the table still in it's folded position, it wasn't like Brooklyn to not have her shit together. One thing that I loved about her was her reliability, and her not being here, well it worried me. Where could she possibly be?

I made my way off the stage jumping down and headed towards the back of the venue by the other merch tables. Everyone else had their stuff up and ready to go, except us. I looked around, not seeing her anywhere I made my way backstage hoping she had just lost track of time talking with one of the guys. Everyone seemed to be in the dressing room besides Brook, Derek and Josh. A switch somewhere in me flipped on, as the thought of her hanging around Derek alone began to race through my thoughts. Without telling anyone where I was going I headed out the back entrance of the venue hoping to avoid the fans right now, they would see me soon enough. And right now I needed to find out where my wife was.

Walking down the busy boulevard I hoped by some miracle that she may have been with Josh getting a bite to eat before the show or something. But that thought was quickly shot down as I saw Josh coming out of Subway holding a clear bag with his sandwich and chips, sipping on his soda straw. I figured asking him if he had seen her wouldn't harm anyone, so as he approached me I quickly skipped the polite 'hey' he greeted me with and asked if he had seen Brook.

"Nah man, haven't seen really..well she was with Derek folding your merch a couple hours ago. But that was the last time I saw her, sorry," he told me slurping up the last of his soda.

"It's cool, she probably went back to the hotel to sleep," I muttered to him before taking off down the street, my walk turning into a jog until I reached the lobby of the hotel. Reaching forward I pushed the up button waiting for the elevator to come down. Within seconds the loud beep announcing the arrival of the machine chimed, as I was about to go in Derek walked out, his hair still wet, I guessed that he had just taken a shower. He walked past me as I stared at the guy, a smug looking smile seemed to play at his lips. Without saying a word to him I entered and quickly pressed the numbertwo button as the metal room ascended. I pretty much jumped out of the elevator and took off down the hall, sliding the card into the door, the green light blinked as I rushed into the room shutting the door behind me, "Brook?" I called out, "Are you in here?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute," I heard her call out from the bathroom, the door left somewhat open, steam leaking out into the rest of the room. I took a seat on our bed as I waited for her, looking around I didn't see any sign that any one was in her with her, but I couldn't help but think that maybe she was with Derek, and ew, I may be sitting on something I thought as I shot up from the bed wiping my ass off as a laugh from the corner of the room, I turned to see Brook with her hair still wet dressed in a white t-shirt and skinny black jeans I had bought for her, "You okay?"

"Uh yeah, fine," I said looking the bed once over again before moving to lean against the dresser. She laughed as she walked past me towards her suitcase, putting away the dirty ones, and pulling out her sandals, dropping them on the floor as she slipped them on, "So where were you?"

She messed with her hair in the mirror as she answered me, "Oh I was here. Watching tv, I must've fell asleep though, cause about a half hour ago I realized it was five thirty."

I guess that was plausible I told myself, as I watched her fiddle faddle with her hair some more. She went to grab her make up bag but stopped short, looked in the mirror once and didn't grab the bag afterall. I liked her without make up anyways, it was more real. I didn't like to see girls with pounds of make up on their face, it wasn't attractive and it wasn't really who they were, it was a mask.

"We better get back, I still need to set up," she told me smiling as she grabbing my hand as we walked out of the hotel room and down the hall.

[--]

We held hands all the way back inside the venue, even when Rian, Josh, Jack and Dave came running towards us out of no where with water guns. I don't know what they were thinking, it was bloody freezing outside and they were messing around as if it was summer out. We managed to get into the venue just as they started shooting water at us, declaring war as Josh so kindly yelled at us. We laughed breathlessly as we both leaned against the metal back door exit trying to catch our breath. While Jack and the rest of the brigade banged on the door yelling through the door to come out and take it like a man. I shook my head laughing, I don't think these boys would ever grow up, "Your friends are idiots."

He smiled laughing, "Yeah, but I wouldn't trade 'em for the world."