Miserable at Best

Though I had seen the boys perform countless times before tonight’s performance seemed to be ten times better than anything I have seen. Maybe it was the fact that I was in such a good mood? To be honest, I didn’t know. But every time Alex or Derek took one small glance my way my stomach took leaps. This was definitely new to me, although I knew I was already starting to develop feelings for Derek, now Alex? Was my mind playing games on my heart? Was my heart playing games on my mind? What was going on! I couldn’t possibly be falling for two boys at once, let alone these two. I shook the thought of even liking either of them as I continued to finish packing away the merch bins. Matt accompanied me to the trailer attached to the end of the van as we loaded up all five merch bins. He then took off in the direction of which we had come mere minutes ago mumbling something or other. He was going to over do himself one of these days, I knew it. Sliding in the one merch bin that was sticking out blocking the doors from closing I felt an intense pain in my behind. Not even guessing who it was I turned to see Alex’s lopsided smile as he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close, “Missed you.”

“Dude, it’s been like an hour!” I informed him trying to escape his grasp to shut the trailer doors. With no avail I was stuck in his lanky arms, “An hour is an hour. It’s a pretty long time. It’s like sixty minutes..”

“Alex,” I whined, trying to push him away from me, seriously the boy knew how to bug.

“Babe,” he whined, “Why must you always reject my affection?”

I laughed, reject his affection, like I had a choice, “I do not reject your affection.”

“Oh really? Then what is it that you’re doing right now?”

“I’m simply trying to do my job and secure the merchandise in the trailer like I was told to do, Mr. Gaskarth.”

“Fine,” he said reluctantly as he finally let me go, “But hurry the fuck up Mrs. Gaskarth, we’re all going partying when we’re done.”

Alex knew I don’t drink, and that I don’t party. So I have no idea what made him think that I would actually want to go out with him and all the rest of the bands on tour. Sure it would be a change from the ordinary, but all the same I didn’t party, didn’t drink, so therefore when he handed me a drink I never stopped to think of what it may do to me.

“I thought you don’t drink,” Alex slurred into my ear as we both clung to eachother as if our lives depended on it.

“There’s always a everything for a first time,” I informed him as I took a sip from my fruity drink in hand.
He chuckled, “You my dear,” he started as he took the remaining of my drink and chugging the drink down, “have had enough to drink.”

I jutted out my bottom lip in an attempt to pout my way to get another drink, but apparently everyone agreed that I had already had enough. Though my senses may have been clouded I could feel when someone was intently burning holes into me, different from other times I ignored the burning feeling in my skin and turned towards Alex whispering in his ear, “Let’s get out of here.”

Alex looked me dead in the eye before tearing his gaze away, grabbing my hand, “Hey, we’re going to head back.” Of course the guys all had a comment to make as we headed out of the bar and into the cold winter’s night, hand in hand down the avenue until we hit the hotel. Did you know that it only takes an hour for the effect of alcohol to be out of your system? I didn’t know that either. But along the stroll back to our room I became aware of the feeling of stability in my own being. As we stood in the elevator waiting to approach our floor I couldn’t help myself, the next thing I knew we were fused together. His hands, my hips. My hands, his hair. We were like animals that had just been cut loose and couldn’t control themselves. The only thing pulling us apart was the most annoying elevator chime I had ever heard, but that only motivated Alex to regrip my hand as he dragged me down the hallway not wasting anytime as he shoved in the hotel key card, pushing me into the room the moment he could.

Falling onto the bed we had yet to break apart for air, it seemed like it wasn’t something either of us had planned, but neither was me reaching down to his belt buckle trying to undo it hurriedly, Alex pulled away, leaving me breathless, raising himself above me, “Are you sure about this? I can wait Brooke.”

I looked my ex-best friend/husband in the eye, and replied, “I don’t want to wait anymore,” before pulling him down to me kissing him passionately with no intention of stopping.