Miserable at Best

I stared at him in awe. Had he really just asked me that question? Did he not remember that we were married NOT because we loved eachother, but because our parents arranged it?

"No Alex, I don't love you. I mean seriously, I can't love someone I don't know."

Maybe I was expecting too much when I said that. I expected him to have a somewhat I don't know, hurt expression on his face? I was majorly confused when I saw him smiling a thousand watt smile at me.

"I'm glad we're on the same page" he stated before embracing me in a tight hug.

"This is..weird." I said in a whisper.

He pulled away and took a couple steps away from me, "I understand. Just one more question, do you ever think we could you know.."

"Love eachother?" I finished.

He nodded his shaggy brown hair.

"Honestly?" I asked.

"Honestly."

I thought about it once, then one more time, "I really don't know, but I don't see anything happening."

"Okay then I have a purposal for you." he threw out.

"Alex, we're already married."

He laughed, "I forgot your sense of humor. But, that's not what I'm talking about. Since we both don't have feelings for eachother, why don't we make a mutual agreement?"

I didn't fully comprehend what he was suggesting, "Meaning?"

"We act the part in public, in front of our friends, in front of our families, but we do what we want the rest of the time" he finished saying as if it was the plan of a genius.

I guess I still must have looked clueless when Alex said in simpler words, "We can date who ever we want."

It sounded like a good plan to me, who would know the difference anyhow? It's not like someone would be spying on us to see if we were truly in love with eachother. The plan seemed fool proof, I didn't have any reason to object to Alex's scheme.

I smiled, and stuck out my right hand, "Deal."

He returned the smile, and grabbed my hand, "Brooklyyn I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship."

It was by far easier said then done. That night, Jack, Rian and Zack all came over to the house. Alex hadn't invited them, I hadn't invited them, they just invited themselves over. And not only them, but they brought along their girlfriends as well. There was Ashley, who was Zack's girlfriend. And then a brunette, Danielle, she was Jack's girlfriend. And Teegan, who was Rian's girlfriend I think? Yeah, it was Rian.

I had been upstairs in my room when Alex called out for me, "Brook, babe? Can you come downstairs?"

I didn't reply, but I knew we had to have had visitors if he was calling me babe. Climbing off of my bed, I smoothed out my clothes and slipped on my fuzzy pink slippers and made my way down the stairs, looking out the window. I could see three cars that didn't belong to this household, I could only imagine who was here right now.

As I round the corner into the living room I saw Jack, Danielle, Ashley, Zack, Rian and Teegan all over the living room. I can't recall if I mentioned that the kitchen and living room were joined? You could go into the living room from the kitchen and go into the kitchen from the living room, it made snacking very easy.

I looked over to the counter in the kitchen to see Jack and Rian on stools and Alex standing in the kitchen pouring liquid into red cups. I looked to my left and saw the girlfriends and Zack, but they were too into the Office to notice me enter the room.

If Alex hadn't called me I probably would've have stayed locked in my room, on the computer chatting with friends from back home. It was the best past time for me lately. I dragged my feet as I joined Alex in the kitchen, as someone finally noticed the short brunette haired girl.

"Hey babe." Alex greeted as he leaned over and pecked me on the lips.

"Hey." I replied as I wrapped my arms around myself, it seemed that the heater was not on downstairs as it was up in my room.

"Hey Brookie," Jack greeted as he took a sip from his cup.

I smiled, and Rian nodded a hello. Oh, were things going to be weird.

"You cold?" Alex asked.

"Just a little," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Here, drink some, it'll warm you up." he said handing her his cup.

I declined his offer, "I'm fine."

He looked at me with a hard stare, "Well here, wear this," he said pulling over his head his sweater, and handing it to me.

I really was fine, but slid the sweater on all the same, "Thanks."

"Anything for you." he smiled sweetly and kissed me on my forehead.

A round of "awwww" came from everyone in the house, apparently we were cute enough to catch the attention of those couch potatoes.

"I seriously never thought I could see Alex settle down with one girl." Rian admitted.

"Thanks alot asshole." Alex exclaimed as he threw a crumbled paper towel at him, Rian ducked, missing the light weight weapon.

"You must be something special Brooklyyn to catch his heart."

Alex smiled, "She's more than something special, she's my everything."

I smiled, "You're my everything."

He turned and looked at me happily, not because he was my "everything", but because I had finally started to play along with our plan. He stood close and lifted my chin, kissing me deeper than before.

"EW! Get a room!" Danielle yelled from the couch.

I pulled away, blushing slightly, as I walked over to the other group, plopping down on the couch. Not even five minutes later Alex was sitting beside me, arm wrapped around me, red cup in the free hand, I could smell the liquor.

It had been a couple of hours of watching tv with everyone when I started to drift off in Alex's arms. Waking myself when my face crashed into his chest, "I'm going to bed."

Alex looked down at me, his eyes glazed over and red, he was drunk. I had obviously not been awake to his multiple refills on his cup. He smiled a lopsided smile down at me, "Hey guys, we're going to hit the hay, lock up when you leave, or stay if you want. Your stuff's in your rooms."

Alex stood up wobbly, and held out his hand for me. I accepted as I rose from the couch and lead the way out of the room.

"KEEP IT DOWN YOU TWO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT DOWN HERE." Jack yelled after us.

I could only laugh as Alex lagged behind me, we stopped at the stairs. There was no way Alex was going to make it up there on his own, "Come on Alex. Up we go." I threw his arm around my shoulder,and grabbed his waist as we made our way up the stairs. It didn't take as long as I had expected it to, he was fairly easy to navigate under the influence. I led the way to his room, opening the door, shutting it behind me, as I made my way towards the bed. When close enough Alex seemed to regain some balance as he pushed me onto the bed, landing on my back, as he fell shortly afterwards on top of me.

"Alex what're you-"

But he didn't let me finish as he set his index finger to my mouth, "Shhh. Just let it happen."
His mouth soon replaced his finger, and his hands traced their way down the sides of my body. As quickly as it happened, I had quickly forgotten what was happening, that was until his hands had found the top of my jeans, unbuttoning them easily, pulling them down with ease. This wasn't going to happen, not this way atleast.

My hands found their way to his chest, as I pushed him away harshly, "Alex stop."

"What's wrong?" he asked annoyed.

"You're drunk Alex, you don't know what you're doing." I accused as I rolled out from beneath him, standing beside the bed, pulling my pants up, and rebuttoning them.

"I do too know what I'm doing Brook!" Alex replied back.

"No, you don't."

"I want you Brook."

"No you don't."

"I've always wanted you."

My back was facing him, my hand on the doorknob, I turned and looked at him, he had passed out on the bed, face down. I returned to the bedside, pulled his legs back onto the bed, taking off his hat, and shutting the light off. Pulling one pillow and blanket off from the bed, I situated myself on the floor. I couldn't sleep in my room with his friends here, they'd know something was wrong. I laid down on the blanket, resting my head on my pillow, but not before looking at Alex once more, "You've never wanted me Alex. You never will."