I Knew Babysitting Paid, But It Finally Paid Off

I turned over in bed to see my clock. 2:35 am. I really should get sleep, but I didn't want to have that stupid nightmare again. I sighed, staring at my ceiling.

I was back at my own house, and I had it all to myself. My parents went off to some amazing tropical island for their anniversary or something. Whatever. The first day back, Manda had helped me remove all of my posters. It was a hard task, let me tell you. Not only was the tape not cooperating, but every time I looked at Joe's face I felt like crying.

I looked at the clock again. 2:42 am.

"Absolutely ridiculous." I muttered, getting up to get a glass of water.

On my way out the door, I saw my notebook, half sticking out from under my bookshelf. It was dusty, very dusty. I thought back to the last time I wrote in it. It was two years ago, after the...incident.

I shuddered, continuing my way to the kitchen. Deciding I was too lazy to get an actual glass of water, I grabbed a Vitamin Water from the fridge.

I made my way back to my room, glancing at my notebook again.

No. It was not that bad. I refused to believe it was that bad already. No. I am not depressed. Period. End of story.

I climbed back into my bed and promptly fell asleep.

I was chasing Joe, somewhere deep in a forest. It was thundering, but the canopy of leaves blocked the rain from dripping onto me. We ran further and further so that the trees began to thin. I was gaining fast on Joe's tail. He looked over his shoulder, staring at me with those dead eyes. I reached out my hand towards him, just out of reach of his own. I screamed out.

"Why?! Joe, why?!"

He didn't answer. He just continued running. Then he abruptly stopped. I skidded to a halt so that I wouldn't run into him. We had arrived at a cliff, so tall it looked to have no bottom. I looked at Joe, wide-eyed and terrified.

"No." I murmured, backing away from him slowly, shaking my head.

"Yes." Joe said, speaking for the first time, a devilish smirk creeping onto his face. "Goodbye Kristen." And with that, he shoved me off the edge.

I was falling fast, the wind whipping my hair about my face. Joe was getting farther and farther away, smaller and smaller. I screamed out one last time before I crashed to my death.

"STOP PUSHING ME AWAY!"

I woke up with a start, teary eyed and hyperventilating. Stupid dream.

Okay, it was that bad. I jumped out of bed and went to retrieve my notebook. I held it in my hands, blowing away the dust, remembering.

*Flashback*

It was October, two years ago. And I had just gotten the worst news in my life. At the time, anyway. I was in Biology class, day dreaming again.

A note landed next to me from my best friend across the lab table.

hey, you okay?

yeah. why wouldn't I be?

oh. you haven't heard yet...

heard what? manda?

its um, about Pete and um, Danielle

what does my boyfriend have to do with that slut?

she's um, pregnant

so?

KK, do the math

I was about to tell her that math and I don't mix, until I realized what she meant.

Pete, my steady boyfriend of three years had gotten that whore pregnant. My Pete had cheated on me.

The tears were coming fast. I had to get out of here. My hand shot into the air.

"Mrs. Chism? Can I go to the nurse? I don't feel so good."

"Of course Kristen." She answered, looking up from her desk.

I grabbed my bag and raced out the door, heading straight to my locker. Fumbling with the lock, I opened it and dumped all my books into it. Slamming it shut, I stormed off campus and proceeded to ditch school. I walked home, even though it was all the way across town.

Tears were furiously streaming down my face as I entered my house. I ran to my room, where I noticed a notebook on my desk.

*End Flashback*

Tears welled in my eyes at the memory. Pete, although he wasn't my first boyfriend, he was the first one that I actually fell in love with. And it crushed me when he betrayed me.

I grabbed a pen and went over to my bed, where I did my best writing. Ten minutes later, I was staring at a completed work, teardrops splattered over the lined paper.

Run, run like you do
I'm chasing you, I'm on your tail
I'm gaining fast
Your going nowhere
Try to fix what you've done
Turn back the time
The night is calling and we're falling faster now

Pushing me away
Every last word, every single thing you say
Pushing me away
You try to stop it now, but its already too late
Pushing me away
If you really don't care, then say it to my face
Pushing me away
Push, push
Pushing me away

Stop, tell me the truth
Cause I'm so confused
Spinning round, these walls are falling down
And I need you, more than you know
I'm not letting go, I'm getting close
So take my hand, and please
Just tell me why
Push, push

Pushing me away

I looked at the clock for a third time. 4:23 am.

I yawned, closed my notebook, and placed it on my bedside table. Feeling relieved I had gotten some of my built up emotions out, I drifted off to sleep.