Black/Miss You
I just wanna be right here with you!
I can’t sleep, I just can’t breathe
When your shadow is all over me baby
Don’t wanna be, a fool in your eyes
‘Cause what we had was built on lies
And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me, hear what I say.
4 full months, Gerard was out on tour keeping his mind off thinking in Lizzy, but even after 4 months it was impossible. Remembering everything what happened, what made her say good-bye, he was still beating himself up. Then when he saw her with Frankie… his world had crushed down and it kept like that since then. Frankie and Lizzy weren’t together now, though. The tour bus was going steadily down a dark road. It was like 3am and Gerard wasn’t able to sleep. The rest of his band mates hit the pillow hours ago, but there he was at the back of the bus watching the streetlights went by fast. Gerard closed his eyes as a silent tear ran down his face feeling something choking him inside his chest. They were heading back to Jersey, why coming back so close to her again? Why where he could take his car and be at her house in 10 minutes? Halfhearted he wanted to talk to her again, but even when he was the guilty one, he was hurted because she did it with Frankie. Gerard was still staring at the road when he heard a noise and startled.
“Mikey, you scared me.” Gerard said not louder than a whisper.
“What are you doing still up?” Mikey answered in the same tone.
“I can’t sleep.”
“Going back home has something to do with it?”
“A lot, actually.” Gerard sighed. He had told Mikey a few months ago bout the whole deal with Lizzy, Frankie and him.
“What are you gonna do?”
“I have no idea. I’d like to talk to her, but I’m too scared.”
“Scared or hurted?” Gerard looked at Mikey.
“Both.” Then he got back into his slumber again, trying to figure out what to do. Mikey left and headed back to his bunk. “No matter what, Lizzy, I’m gonna go and talk to you again. No matter what…” Then he fell asleep on the couch.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...
The first sunrays woke Gerard up. He rubbed his eyes and tried to get up, but his neck was sore, so he just lied there. The guys were waking up as well and the first one to find him lying back there was Frankie, who with just a look at him knew his true feelings.
“Are you ok?” Frankie asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Gerard lied between his teeth: the last person he wanted to know how he felt was Frankie.
“Sure?” Frankie asked again, he knew him too well. Gerard got up and walked to the front of the bus.
“I’m sure, Frank…” And Gerard disappeared from Frankie’s sight.
30 minutes later they were getting to the studio where all the guys would split and head home since they had a week off. Gerard stepped off the bus and collected his bags before climbing the van that’d lead him to his house. This, without even a word to his band mates. Mikey climbed the van and sat beside him.
“Are you gonna go see her?” Mikey asked.
“I don’t know…” Gerard sighed giving signs of no wanting to talk bout it and Mikey got the hint. A 10 minutes drive took Gerard finally to his house. Getting in, he laid on the couch staring at the phone. “What should I do? What should I do?” He kept staring at the phone till its ring woke him up. “Hello?” He picked it up.
“Gerard?” A female voice came from the other side of the line and Gerard’s face went blank.
“L… Lizzy?” He said trying not to drop the phone. He hated the effect she had on him right the way. “How did you know I was gonna be here today?”
“F… Someone told me.” *Uncomfortable silence.* “I… I need to talk to you bout something… it’s important.”
“Actually, I also need to talk to you, but…” Gerard was starting, but Lizzy knew him and knew what he would say.
“Gee, I know they way you should feel or felt, but… I think we have to talk bout it.” She spoke and he sighed. “Are you gonna be there all day?”
“What if we go to some other place more… neutral?” She knew what he meant.
“Ok, so I’ll see you, you know where, after lunch?”
“Two o’clock.”
“Ok, bye.” Lizzy hung up the phone and Gerard stared at the auricular before feeling really awkward.
“What the hell just happened?” He asked to himself. He couldn’t believe SHE wanted to see him. Gerard jumped from the couch and grabbed his bags dancing his way up stairs, arranged his stuff and took a shower before having lunch and heading out of his house to meet her.
What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand that I'll always believe
You and I can make it through
And I still know, I can’t get over you
‘Cause when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say
2:00 Gerard was standing outside the little coffee shop they used to go so frequently and then he saw her. She was stunning from head to toe, but the look on her face wasn’t happy. He could notice she had lost weight and that light that she used to irradiate wasn’t there. Lizzy approached to him and stood by his side.
“Hi.” Both said at the same time.
“Well, let’s sit…” Gerard said not really knowing what to say.
“Ok.” Both sat down and Gerard asked for a coffee, Lizzy didn’t ask anything.
“You should eat something.” He said and she looked at him weirdly. “You’re thinner… and different. What happened to you?”
“Why do you think that something happened to me? Everything is fine.” She lied. But Gerard could still read her.
“No it’s not. Otherwise you wouldn’t have called me in the first place.”
“I just thought we needed to talk bout what happened. Cause I need to have an explanation and I think you disserve one too.”
“Ok, I wanna get rid of these. That night I just wanted to show you how much you meant to me, we’ve had such a wonderful evening and I did wanted to end it that way. I guess I just lost my head… I really wasn’t thinking… I never understood why it was so hard for you to trust in me.”
“And I guess you felt worse after you found out what happened after I left.”
“I don’t know your reasons. But we were together for over a year and a lot more time as friends. How could you sleep with him in just one night?”
“I was vulnerable… I had never seen you the way I saw you that night. I guess… it was just an impulse.”
“Well, that impulse made me think how useless our relationship was. That’s why I sent you that letter, renouncing to everything we had. You can’t even imagine how I felt then.”
“I’ve got my eyes on the tour. You know…” Gerard looked at her thinking in which of the guys was informing her. “And you don’t even imagine who it was. I’m not telling you either.”
“It was either Mikey or Frankie. Frankie was too kind with me the whole trip and well, Mikey was worried.”
“As worried as I was. I was told you weren’t eating or sleeping.” Lizzy gazed him.
“I don’t have to ask anyone to know you weren’t doing those either.” He said back. Both kept silent for a while till Lizzy built enough nerve to say what she wanted to say.
“You know what? I’ve got to say this right the way or I won’t say it at all: Gee, I… I…”
“What?”
“I love you.” She whispered and he didn’t wanna believe his ears. “I know nothing is gonna change what happened these months and especially what happened that night. I know we both were guilty. You shouldn’t have done, or try to do, what you did. And I shouldn’t have done what I did. I guess I just wanted to hurt you and I made it, but it didn’t felt good at all. I’ve been cursing myself since then and I couldn’t wait for you to come back to just tell you.”
“Lizzy… I…”
“I know probably you will want to think bout it or you already realized that you don’t need me anymore and all of us was just a waste of time.” Gerard stared at her, but in his head all he could hear was the ‘I love you’ she said earlier. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you this after all and…” She stopped. “I’m really sorry, Gee.” She ended trying really hard to keep the tears inside.
“Why don’t you cry infront of me?”
“You know I promised myself once I wouldn’t cry infront of a guy again.”
“Lizzy, I’m not gonna take advantage of your tears. When are you gonna start trusting me? How can you say you love me if you don’t trust me? Those two have to be together.” Gerard was searching for the answers he always looked for and finally Lizzy understood how much that answer meant to him.
“Gee, I was scared. You know everything bout my relationships before you. I didn’t wanna get hurted again. It takes a lot for me to trust in someone. But I’m getting over it, otherwise…
“You wouldn’t have told me this.” He finished her phrase. *Uncomfortable silence.*
“Well, I guess that you don’t love me anymore, you haven’t said a thing.”
“Lizzy, whatever I tried to do to you that night, I’m sorry, I know I was an ass. But that didn’t give you the right to do what you did.”
“See? You don’t.” Lizzy stood up and looked at him. “Gerard, I’m really sorry for everything I did. I never meant to make our relationship go useless. Just… just think bout this and it doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me. I got to go now…” She was turning to leave when he knew he had to say something.
“Lizzy, wait.” She stopped, but with no looking at him. “I guess… I… come to my house for dinner. We still have things to talk bout. Please.” Lizzy gazed him and nodded before walking away again. Gerard paid the check and headed to his house, wondering how the evening would end.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do...
Gerard was the whole afternoon trying to calm down his nerves and thinking bout what to do for dinner. He was so hysterical, that he messed it up twice till he finally got it fine. It was bout 8 o’clock when the doorbell rang. He opened the door letting Lizzy get into the house. She smelled the air and knew what he was cooking.
“I hope your kitchen is safe.” She said with a half smile.
“It’s just fine, thanks.” He said back looking offended, although he really wasn’t. “C’mon, have a seat. The dinner is ready.” She did as she was told. While they were eating, neither said much about ‘The Thing’, actually they didn’t even eat that much. Gerard knew she wouldn’t speak, so it was his turn to start. “Lizzy, I need to ask you something, but I need you to tell me the truth.”
“Ok, I will.”
“How many times did you sleep with Frankie?” Her face showed shock, but she was going to answer anyway. He disserved it.
“Don’t you think I’m lying. But just one.” Now he was the shocked one.
“Just that night?” She nodded. “But you were with him for a whole week.”
“And he was working. But even if he wouldn’t have been there. It felt too bad, too awkward. That’s why I told him everything and we stayed friends. When it happened I realized that I would have loved it to be you and not him. But I was blinded with rage and when everything faded and I had time to think bout it, it was different. I knew I was wrong and that I didn’t have the right to do it and the worst part: I could never make it up to you.” She kept quiet for a while and Gerard just stared at her. “My biggest fear all the time I had to wait for you to come back from tour was that you wouldn’t listen to me or something like that. And it took a lot for me to finally decide to do this.”
“I know. You wouldn’t go and say this stuff just like that.”
“When I say I love you, I really mean it. Even knowing that maybe I can’t have you back.” Gerard stared at her again as Lizzy stared at the table. He knew that moment she was for real. He held her face with both hands and kissed her deeply. She startled and stared at him.
“I love you too, Lizzy. I know I was an ass.”
“But I had no right to do what I did.”
“Neither did I. But I know I can forgive you if you forgive me.”
“I already did, Gee.” Lizzy’s eyes got a little teary and she fought again with them.
“Please, Lizzy. Cry, just cry.” She gazed him and the look in his eyes was so different at anything she had ever could have seen into his eyes that she finally stopped the struggle with her tears and let them fall freely. “Now I know you trust me.” Gerard tightened her against his chest with tears of his own running down his cheeks.
“I missed you so much.” Lizzy whispered and Gerard looked at her.
“I missed you too.” He kissed her again and both got lost in it. Maybe that one of the things Lizzy missed the most, his lips were totally addictive and she felt how much she had missed them the moment he first kissed her.
“Gee…” She whispered on his mouth.
“What?” He whispered back.
“Make love to me.”
‘Cause when our love always
Fades away
Listen to me hear what I say
Gerard broke the kiss a bit shocked, but at looking straight into her eyes and watching the way she felt, all his doubts disappeared. He kissed her again and, wrapping his arms around her, he led her to the bedroom. The same bedroom they shared so many times in playful afternoon or tired nights, the same bed that cradled them in heated kisses and tender caresses. Now the room would be witness of another big step on their relationship. Gerard laid her on the bed and slipped his hands under her blouse quickly taking it off her, his kisses diverted to her neck and she dug her fingers in his hair. He sat straight on the bed tossing his shirt away, then coming back to kiss her neck and going down to her breasts. His hands went to her back and unclasped her bra throwing it to the floor. His mouth covered her breasts with tiny kisses going down to her stomach. Like a feather, he kissed her belly at the same time he undid her pants and slid them off along with her panties.
“Sweet heaven…” Gerard said stunned by her bare body infront of him for the first time. Lizzy returned the look, but even when she was feeling a bit embarrassed, she didn’t make the attempt to cover herself. That surprised her, cause she was starting to trust in him.
“It’s your turn, Gerard.” She said snapping him out of his daze. He unbuckled and unzipped his pants tossing them away as fast as he could, to get back on top of her body. He slid down and started kissing all his way up, after freeing her feet of her shoes and socks and doing the same with himself. He kissed every path of skin he was in touch with from her toes, going through her legs, her tights, her stomach and her breasts till he reached her face and mouth again. “Please, Gee…” She moaned with the stimulation he had done to her body.
“I love you, Lizzy. I never stopped loving you.” He started to confess as his hands caressed her tights opening them to have better access.
“I love you too, babe… I never stopped either…” Lizzy ran her nails across his spine and pushed his head down to kiss him again. Gerard couldn’t control himself any longer and slipped into her firmly but softly and she whimpered at the feeling.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Gee…” She breathed. She kissed him again placing her arms around his waist telling him to start moving. And he did. Gerard caressed her side and made her wrap a leg on his hip. They started to move together, he slid in and out of her so lovingly that she felt everything he was feeling for her. Lizzy couldn’t believe she had rejected that moment for so long. Gerard’s lips went to her neck again.
“You feel so good, Liz…”
“C’mon, Gee…” Lizzy started to dig her nails on his shoulders feeling all her senses numbed by the powerful sensation Gerard was giving her. He kissed her again feeling his own orgasm near to explode.
“Come with me, Lizzy…” He said encouraging her. Lizzy bit her lower lip with all the emotion together inside her stomach. “C’mon, Liz, let go, just let it go…” Gerard thrusted one last time and both exploded at the same time. “Liiiiiz!!!”
“Geeeee!!” She yelled out loosing her last breath. Gerard fell on top of her without energy to move.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you, I miss you
I do...
After a while and catching their breath back, Gerard rolled off her and laid by her said. Neither of them said a word, but both knew what the other was thinking. Lizzy gazed him and he gazed back. Both smiled.
“Come here…” Gerard said opening the sheets for them and slipping both underneath them. Lizzy laid her head on his chest. “How do you feel now?”
“I feel great, except for one thing…” She traced circles above his heart not daring to look at him.
“What? Cause you know who had it first?”
“Yeah, I mean, it should have been you.”
“I didn’t disserve it that time.”
“You always disserved it. I had no right to do it.”
“But you didn’t wanna do it. I mean it’s not like you were cheating on me. You were vulnerable and I made you be like that.” Gerard made her look at him. “But that doesn’t matter now. As long as you stay with me…”
“I’ll stay with you, and you know what? I think I’m gonna start trusting you too.”
“I could never hurt you, not again, Lizzy. I don’t wanna go through all of this again.” Gerard held her tight and she smiled.
“I would…” She said with a smirk. Gerard jumped.
“What?”
“If we’re gonna have these make-ups, I’m willing to fight with you everyday.” She laughed.
“We don’t have to fight to do this…” Gerard smiled awkwardly. She kissed him again.
“I love you, Gee…” She settled back on his chest.
“I love you, Lizzy.” Gerard kissed her forehead. “I really missed you.” He whispered, but she was already asleep and soon he followed.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do...
When your shadow is all over me baby
Don’t wanna be, a fool in your eyes
‘Cause what we had was built on lies
And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me, hear what I say.
4 full months, Gerard was out on tour keeping his mind off thinking in Lizzy, but even after 4 months it was impossible. Remembering everything what happened, what made her say good-bye, he was still beating himself up. Then when he saw her with Frankie… his world had crushed down and it kept like that since then. Frankie and Lizzy weren’t together now, though. The tour bus was going steadily down a dark road. It was like 3am and Gerard wasn’t able to sleep. The rest of his band mates hit the pillow hours ago, but there he was at the back of the bus watching the streetlights went by fast. Gerard closed his eyes as a silent tear ran down his face feeling something choking him inside his chest. They were heading back to Jersey, why coming back so close to her again? Why where he could take his car and be at her house in 10 minutes? Halfhearted he wanted to talk to her again, but even when he was the guilty one, he was hurted because she did it with Frankie. Gerard was still staring at the road when he heard a noise and startled.
“Mikey, you scared me.” Gerard said not louder than a whisper.
“What are you doing still up?” Mikey answered in the same tone.
“I can’t sleep.”
“Going back home has something to do with it?”
“A lot, actually.” Gerard sighed. He had told Mikey a few months ago bout the whole deal with Lizzy, Frankie and him.
“What are you gonna do?”
“I have no idea. I’d like to talk to her, but I’m too scared.”
“Scared or hurted?” Gerard looked at Mikey.
“Both.” Then he got back into his slumber again, trying to figure out what to do. Mikey left and headed back to his bunk. “No matter what, Lizzy, I’m gonna go and talk to you again. No matter what…” Then he fell asleep on the couch.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...
The first sunrays woke Gerard up. He rubbed his eyes and tried to get up, but his neck was sore, so he just lied there. The guys were waking up as well and the first one to find him lying back there was Frankie, who with just a look at him knew his true feelings.
“Are you ok?” Frankie asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Gerard lied between his teeth: the last person he wanted to know how he felt was Frankie.
“Sure?” Frankie asked again, he knew him too well. Gerard got up and walked to the front of the bus.
“I’m sure, Frank…” And Gerard disappeared from Frankie’s sight.
30 minutes later they were getting to the studio where all the guys would split and head home since they had a week off. Gerard stepped off the bus and collected his bags before climbing the van that’d lead him to his house. This, without even a word to his band mates. Mikey climbed the van and sat beside him.
“Are you gonna go see her?” Mikey asked.
“I don’t know…” Gerard sighed giving signs of no wanting to talk bout it and Mikey got the hint. A 10 minutes drive took Gerard finally to his house. Getting in, he laid on the couch staring at the phone. “What should I do? What should I do?” He kept staring at the phone till its ring woke him up. “Hello?” He picked it up.
“Gerard?” A female voice came from the other side of the line and Gerard’s face went blank.
“L… Lizzy?” He said trying not to drop the phone. He hated the effect she had on him right the way. “How did you know I was gonna be here today?”
“F… Someone told me.” *Uncomfortable silence.* “I… I need to talk to you bout something… it’s important.”
“Actually, I also need to talk to you, but…” Gerard was starting, but Lizzy knew him and knew what he would say.
“Gee, I know they way you should feel or felt, but… I think we have to talk bout it.” She spoke and he sighed. “Are you gonna be there all day?”
“What if we go to some other place more… neutral?” She knew what he meant.
“Ok, so I’ll see you, you know where, after lunch?”
“Two o’clock.”
“Ok, bye.” Lizzy hung up the phone and Gerard stared at the auricular before feeling really awkward.
“What the hell just happened?” He asked to himself. He couldn’t believe SHE wanted to see him. Gerard jumped from the couch and grabbed his bags dancing his way up stairs, arranged his stuff and took a shower before having lunch and heading out of his house to meet her.
What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand that I'll always believe
You and I can make it through
And I still know, I can’t get over you
‘Cause when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say
2:00 Gerard was standing outside the little coffee shop they used to go so frequently and then he saw her. She was stunning from head to toe, but the look on her face wasn’t happy. He could notice she had lost weight and that light that she used to irradiate wasn’t there. Lizzy approached to him and stood by his side.
“Hi.” Both said at the same time.
“Well, let’s sit…” Gerard said not really knowing what to say.
“Ok.” Both sat down and Gerard asked for a coffee, Lizzy didn’t ask anything.
“You should eat something.” He said and she looked at him weirdly. “You’re thinner… and different. What happened to you?”
“Why do you think that something happened to me? Everything is fine.” She lied. But Gerard could still read her.
“No it’s not. Otherwise you wouldn’t have called me in the first place.”
“I just thought we needed to talk bout what happened. Cause I need to have an explanation and I think you disserve one too.”
“Ok, I wanna get rid of these. That night I just wanted to show you how much you meant to me, we’ve had such a wonderful evening and I did wanted to end it that way. I guess I just lost my head… I really wasn’t thinking… I never understood why it was so hard for you to trust in me.”
“And I guess you felt worse after you found out what happened after I left.”
“I don’t know your reasons. But we were together for over a year and a lot more time as friends. How could you sleep with him in just one night?”
“I was vulnerable… I had never seen you the way I saw you that night. I guess… it was just an impulse.”
“Well, that impulse made me think how useless our relationship was. That’s why I sent you that letter, renouncing to everything we had. You can’t even imagine how I felt then.”
“I’ve got my eyes on the tour. You know…” Gerard looked at her thinking in which of the guys was informing her. “And you don’t even imagine who it was. I’m not telling you either.”
“It was either Mikey or Frankie. Frankie was too kind with me the whole trip and well, Mikey was worried.”
“As worried as I was. I was told you weren’t eating or sleeping.” Lizzy gazed him.
“I don’t have to ask anyone to know you weren’t doing those either.” He said back. Both kept silent for a while till Lizzy built enough nerve to say what she wanted to say.
“You know what? I’ve got to say this right the way or I won’t say it at all: Gee, I… I…”
“What?”
“I love you.” She whispered and he didn’t wanna believe his ears. “I know nothing is gonna change what happened these months and especially what happened that night. I know we both were guilty. You shouldn’t have done, or try to do, what you did. And I shouldn’t have done what I did. I guess I just wanted to hurt you and I made it, but it didn’t felt good at all. I’ve been cursing myself since then and I couldn’t wait for you to come back to just tell you.”
“Lizzy… I…”
“I know probably you will want to think bout it or you already realized that you don’t need me anymore and all of us was just a waste of time.” Gerard stared at her, but in his head all he could hear was the ‘I love you’ she said earlier. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you this after all and…” She stopped. “I’m really sorry, Gee.” She ended trying really hard to keep the tears inside.
“Why don’t you cry infront of me?”
“You know I promised myself once I wouldn’t cry infront of a guy again.”
“Lizzy, I’m not gonna take advantage of your tears. When are you gonna start trusting me? How can you say you love me if you don’t trust me? Those two have to be together.” Gerard was searching for the answers he always looked for and finally Lizzy understood how much that answer meant to him.
“Gee, I was scared. You know everything bout my relationships before you. I didn’t wanna get hurted again. It takes a lot for me to trust in someone. But I’m getting over it, otherwise…
“You wouldn’t have told me this.” He finished her phrase. *Uncomfortable silence.*
“Well, I guess that you don’t love me anymore, you haven’t said a thing.”
“Lizzy, whatever I tried to do to you that night, I’m sorry, I know I was an ass. But that didn’t give you the right to do what you did.”
“See? You don’t.” Lizzy stood up and looked at him. “Gerard, I’m really sorry for everything I did. I never meant to make our relationship go useless. Just… just think bout this and it doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me. I got to go now…” She was turning to leave when he knew he had to say something.
“Lizzy, wait.” She stopped, but with no looking at him. “I guess… I… come to my house for dinner. We still have things to talk bout. Please.” Lizzy gazed him and nodded before walking away again. Gerard paid the check and headed to his house, wondering how the evening would end.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do...
Gerard was the whole afternoon trying to calm down his nerves and thinking bout what to do for dinner. He was so hysterical, that he messed it up twice till he finally got it fine. It was bout 8 o’clock when the doorbell rang. He opened the door letting Lizzy get into the house. She smelled the air and knew what he was cooking.
“I hope your kitchen is safe.” She said with a half smile.
“It’s just fine, thanks.” He said back looking offended, although he really wasn’t. “C’mon, have a seat. The dinner is ready.” She did as she was told. While they were eating, neither said much about ‘The Thing’, actually they didn’t even eat that much. Gerard knew she wouldn’t speak, so it was his turn to start. “Lizzy, I need to ask you something, but I need you to tell me the truth.”
“Ok, I will.”
“How many times did you sleep with Frankie?” Her face showed shock, but she was going to answer anyway. He disserved it.
“Don’t you think I’m lying. But just one.” Now he was the shocked one.
“Just that night?” She nodded. “But you were with him for a whole week.”
“And he was working. But even if he wouldn’t have been there. It felt too bad, too awkward. That’s why I told him everything and we stayed friends. When it happened I realized that I would have loved it to be you and not him. But I was blinded with rage and when everything faded and I had time to think bout it, it was different. I knew I was wrong and that I didn’t have the right to do it and the worst part: I could never make it up to you.” She kept quiet for a while and Gerard just stared at her. “My biggest fear all the time I had to wait for you to come back from tour was that you wouldn’t listen to me or something like that. And it took a lot for me to finally decide to do this.”
“I know. You wouldn’t go and say this stuff just like that.”
“When I say I love you, I really mean it. Even knowing that maybe I can’t have you back.” Gerard stared at her again as Lizzy stared at the table. He knew that moment she was for real. He held her face with both hands and kissed her deeply. She startled and stared at him.
“I love you too, Lizzy. I know I was an ass.”
“But I had no right to do what I did.”
“Neither did I. But I know I can forgive you if you forgive me.”
“I already did, Gee.” Lizzy’s eyes got a little teary and she fought again with them.
“Please, Lizzy. Cry, just cry.” She gazed him and the look in his eyes was so different at anything she had ever could have seen into his eyes that she finally stopped the struggle with her tears and let them fall freely. “Now I know you trust me.” Gerard tightened her against his chest with tears of his own running down his cheeks.
“I missed you so much.” Lizzy whispered and Gerard looked at her.
“I missed you too.” He kissed her again and both got lost in it. Maybe that one of the things Lizzy missed the most, his lips were totally addictive and she felt how much she had missed them the moment he first kissed her.
“Gee…” She whispered on his mouth.
“What?” He whispered back.
“Make love to me.”
‘Cause when our love always
Fades away
Listen to me hear what I say
Gerard broke the kiss a bit shocked, but at looking straight into her eyes and watching the way she felt, all his doubts disappeared. He kissed her again and, wrapping his arms around her, he led her to the bedroom. The same bedroom they shared so many times in playful afternoon or tired nights, the same bed that cradled them in heated kisses and tender caresses. Now the room would be witness of another big step on their relationship. Gerard laid her on the bed and slipped his hands under her blouse quickly taking it off her, his kisses diverted to her neck and she dug her fingers in his hair. He sat straight on the bed tossing his shirt away, then coming back to kiss her neck and going down to her breasts. His hands went to her back and unclasped her bra throwing it to the floor. His mouth covered her breasts with tiny kisses going down to her stomach. Like a feather, he kissed her belly at the same time he undid her pants and slid them off along with her panties.
“Sweet heaven…” Gerard said stunned by her bare body infront of him for the first time. Lizzy returned the look, but even when she was feeling a bit embarrassed, she didn’t make the attempt to cover herself. That surprised her, cause she was starting to trust in him.
“It’s your turn, Gerard.” She said snapping him out of his daze. He unbuckled and unzipped his pants tossing them away as fast as he could, to get back on top of her body. He slid down and started kissing all his way up, after freeing her feet of her shoes and socks and doing the same with himself. He kissed every path of skin he was in touch with from her toes, going through her legs, her tights, her stomach and her breasts till he reached her face and mouth again. “Please, Gee…” She moaned with the stimulation he had done to her body.
“I love you, Lizzy. I never stopped loving you.” He started to confess as his hands caressed her tights opening them to have better access.
“I love you too, babe… I never stopped either…” Lizzy ran her nails across his spine and pushed his head down to kiss him again. Gerard couldn’t control himself any longer and slipped into her firmly but softly and she whimpered at the feeling.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Gee…” She breathed. She kissed him again placing her arms around his waist telling him to start moving. And he did. Gerard caressed her side and made her wrap a leg on his hip. They started to move together, he slid in and out of her so lovingly that she felt everything he was feeling for her. Lizzy couldn’t believe she had rejected that moment for so long. Gerard’s lips went to her neck again.
“You feel so good, Liz…”
“C’mon, Gee…” Lizzy started to dig her nails on his shoulders feeling all her senses numbed by the powerful sensation Gerard was giving her. He kissed her again feeling his own orgasm near to explode.
“Come with me, Lizzy…” He said encouraging her. Lizzy bit her lower lip with all the emotion together inside her stomach. “C’mon, Liz, let go, just let it go…” Gerard thrusted one last time and both exploded at the same time. “Liiiiiz!!!”
“Geeeee!!” She yelled out loosing her last breath. Gerard fell on top of her without energy to move.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you, I miss you
I do...
After a while and catching their breath back, Gerard rolled off her and laid by her said. Neither of them said a word, but both knew what the other was thinking. Lizzy gazed him and he gazed back. Both smiled.
“Come here…” Gerard said opening the sheets for them and slipping both underneath them. Lizzy laid her head on his chest. “How do you feel now?”
“I feel great, except for one thing…” She traced circles above his heart not daring to look at him.
“What? Cause you know who had it first?”
“Yeah, I mean, it should have been you.”
“I didn’t disserve it that time.”
“You always disserved it. I had no right to do it.”
“But you didn’t wanna do it. I mean it’s not like you were cheating on me. You were vulnerable and I made you be like that.” Gerard made her look at him. “But that doesn’t matter now. As long as you stay with me…”
“I’ll stay with you, and you know what? I think I’m gonna start trusting you too.”
“I could never hurt you, not again, Lizzy. I don’t wanna go through all of this again.” Gerard held her tight and she smiled.
“I would…” She said with a smirk. Gerard jumped.
“What?”
“If we’re gonna have these make-ups, I’m willing to fight with you everyday.” She laughed.
“We don’t have to fight to do this…” Gerard smiled awkwardly. She kissed him again.
“I love you, Gee…” She settled back on his chest.
“I love you, Lizzy.” Gerard kissed her forehead. “I really missed you.” He whispered, but she was already asleep and soon he followed.
I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don’t wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
Oh baby I miss you, I do...