Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home

I'm walking through a dark place but I'm not afraid. I can see still shapes, knee level around me in the moonlight. I am happy, I'm going to see something important, but reason why escapes me. I walk until I see it, the shining figure standing next one of these shapes. I can't discern the face, as the light emanating from it is too bright, yet I know this person. I reach out my hand and…

"Charlotte! Guess what we're doing today!" crooned a voice at a volume too high for how early it was in the morning. I dared to open my eyes and stole a quick glance at the clock, its 8am.

"Sleeping," I replied grumpily and pulled my covers over my head. I was having this strange dream, I tried to remember but the more I tried, the faster it slipped away.

"Oh don't be that way, sweet cheeks," came Brendon's annoyingly cheerful voice.

"Fuck you," I muttered. It's too early.

"Only I'm allowed to do that." Alice has obviously entered the room.

They both have stopped talking, which probably means that -. "Whoa, guys, would you mind not doing that where people can walk in on you," Jon's voice joined the mix.

"Fine," Brendon said, "Just get Sleeping Beauty over there up. Where's Ryan?"

"Buying a suit," he replied. A suit? What would he need a suit for?

"Ok, we'll be over at our place," Brendon said as they left the room.

I heard footsteps making their way over to my bed, and felt it sag as he crawled up next to me.

"Princess," sang Jon's voice in my ear, "Time to get up!"

"No."

"We're going to go to the beach," he whispered again. Hence the suit, I guess.

"Not now." Who does to the beach at 8am???

"Yes now. I'll tickle you if I have to."

I pulled my covers down, so that just my eyes peeked out. Jon smiled at me. There was something different though, something wrong. His voice hadn't portrayed anything different than normal but his eyes didn't sparkle like they usually did, and his smile didn't reach them. Something had happened.

I debated asking him, but I decided to wait. Maybe he'll tell me on his own; after all we've talked about stuff like that other times. So instead I just smiled and groaned, "Fine!"

"Atta girl," he said, and left the room so I could change.

Twenty minutes later Alice, Brendon, Pete, Jon, Ryan and I were sitting slightly cramped in the rental car on our way to the beach. About half of the city borders the waterfront, but we were going to a lake more inland. I used to go to the beach there all the time when I was younger; my house is only a few blocks up. But that's not exactly what I want to be thinking about right now.

Soon we were spreading out blankets on the sand with the sun beating down on us. The car thermometer had showed that it's 94 degrees, which is a high number for around here. We all stripped down to our bathing suits, it's too hot.As Brendon and Ryan took off their shirts, the sun reflected off their pale, white skin; they needmore sun.

"Aaah! It burns!" cried Pete, throwing up his hands as if blinded, which was actually entirely possible.

"Shut up," replied Ryan looking disgruntled, whipping him with his towel, "I can't help being white."

"Yes you can, it's called sun -"

Brendon interrupted him, calling," So who wants to go swimming?"

"I do!" yelled Alice and I at the same time.

"Charlotte, you can't," Brendon said.

"What! Why?" I asked indignantly.

"You have a cast," Jon pointed out, not quite meeting my eyes. What is up with him?

"No," groaned Ryan, "it's too hot."

We stood there while the others rushed laughing into the water; they were splashing each other and having a good time. I put my hair up and wiped the sweat away from my forehead, before I said, "This blows."

"Totally," he said, "I guess we could go hang our feet off the dock."

I agreed and we made our way over there. The concrete was hot to the touch so we splashed some water where we would be sitting. The water was cool and refreshing and I longed to jump in.

I sat down and fumbled with my foot boot, trying to undo the Velcro. "Do you need some help?" asked Ryan.

"Yeah, that'd be great," I said, "Thanks."

As he put the boot in his lap, I glanced over to the others and saw Jon making his way back to the blanket. Pete, Alice and Brendon were still messing around, trying to dunk each other.
Worried about Jon (and trying to keep my mind off the fact that he was gently sliding mydisgustingly sweaty foot out of the boot,) I asked Ryan, "Do you know what's up with him?"

"No," he replied, slipping my foot into the water, sending chills down my spine, "Pete said he got a phone call and has been like this ever since. When he asked what was wrong, Jon said everything was fine. We both know that somethings up, although Brendon might oblivious, but he's way smarter than he acts."

"Are you going to ask him later?"

"No."

I snapped my head around to look at him, "Why not?"

"He'll tell us when he's ready," he answered, "We don't want to pressure him."

"Yeah, but what if he needs somebody to talk to right now?"

"Then he'd talk to us," he said convinced. He of all people should know it doesn't work that way.

"You are such a guy," I muttered under my breath

"What?"

"Nothing," I sighed and then burst out, "It is so hot!"

He agreed and we sat there reminiscing about summers when we were younger. We talked until I started noticing a red patch of skin on Ryan's shoulders, (I was fine since I tan really easy, it's the little bit of Greek that I have in me.)

"We should probably put more sunscreen on," I suggested, motioning to his pink skin.

"Yeah," Ryan said, "We should also get some ice cream or something."

"Man," I smiled, shaking my head, "You really like ice cream."

"Who doesn't?" he replied, "So where can I get some?"

"It's up there awhile, if you just follow the path there's the hut that sells it."

"You're not coming?" he said, scrunching up his eyebrows.

"I would love to, but my foot is really sore from yesterday," I assured him.

"Well, what kind do you want?" he asked, standing up.

"Oh, I dunno, surprise me with something," I said, "Thanks."

After I had strapped on my boot, he offered me a hand, "No problem."

Ryan heaved me up and made his way up the dock and to the path. I limped over to the blanket where Jon was sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees, staring off into space. I sat down next to him and waited a minute before saying, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

He glanced over at me before returning to his mindless staring, "Nothings wrong."

I reached over and put my hand on his arm, he flinched at my touch. "You can tell me, I'm not stupid, something is wrong."

"How do you know?" he asked in a blank tone, not looking at me.

"Well first off because of the way your smile doesn't reach your eyes," I said, "and secondly, because I have pulled that act before many times. Most people accept it, but I know what it looks like."

He turned his head and met my eyes, "I dumped my girlfriend."

"Oh," I said, not sure of what else to say, and when he didn't continue I asked, "Was there any particular reason?"

He paused for a moment before saying, "She's been cheating on me for months. I found out yesterday and so I dumped her. She cried and begged and said she was sorry but I dumped her anyway." His hands balled into fists and his eyes echoed the pain, anger, and confusion in his voice. "I have… had been with her for four years. What did I do? How could she do that to me?"

The bright sunny set a strange contrast between the dark mood, I felt my eyes burn as tears threatened to form and tried to swallow the lump in my throat, "I'm sorry. I know how that feels."

I moved closer to him and put my other arm on his shoulder, resting my head on the closer one. I hated to see one of my friends hurting like this and not being able to do anything about it.

"You do?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, it's the part of the reason I moved to the city. Same thing, I was with him for three years… it sucks."

We relapsed into silence and I soon took a quick glance around, I could see Ryan's distant form making his way towards us. I said, "Hey, just don't blame yourself. Ok?"

He didn't answer my question, but instead said, "Thanks for being here."

"No problem, Jon Jon. You were there for me." I gave him a small smile and wiped away the one tear that had almost made its way onto my face. No one should ever have to feel as shitty as this makes you feel, like you're worthless and unwanted.

"You're the best, Princess," he said, as I tactfully looked away, giving him time to wipe his own eyes before he smiled at me.

Ryan walked up with two ice creams, immediately taking in that we had talked, "Hey guys, here's your ice creams."

Before Jon took it he asked, "What about you?"

"Oh, I already ate mine on the way over," Ryan said, waving it away. Liar.

When Jon looked away, I shot Ryan a grateful glance, he nodded. That was really sweet. After I took a few licks of my ice cream, I gave the rest to him, and like normal he finished it in about two minutes.

"You know what," said Jon, with a smile that was sad but real, "I'm going to go back in the water. I'll catch you two later."

As we watched him splash into the water, Ryan asked, "Is he alright?"

I nodded, "I think he's going to be just fine."