Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

It didn’t take long before my thirst was starting to be quenched, but his skin turned paler as I drink. After about a minute I was satisfied, and I pulled my fangs out as smoothly as possible and got rid of them. I gently licked around the puncture wounds, not wanting the drops of blood to go to waste.

When I pulled away and looked at him, my vision was blurry. There were tears running down my cheeks. He pulled me into a hug and held me tight. “No… no…” he whispered. “Come on Rachael, don’t cry. It’s okay now. It’s over.”

“How did you do it? You didn’t show any signs of pain. Not one,” I said through sobs.

“It wasn’t really that bad. This – you crying – hurts way worse. Please, stop.” He whimpered the last words because of how bad he felt. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were full of pain. He wiped the tears off of my cheeks and put his head on my shoulder, gently pushing mine into his by putting his hand on the back of my head.

He felt cold and I knew he was pale, all because of me. I cried because it had felt great and horrible at the same time, because I had almost enjoyed it, and because of how brave he had been to sit there and take it without a hint of regret. Every time he whispered, “Don’t cry… don’t cry… please, don’t cry…” I heard more and more… love in his voice. It scared me, because I liked it. I tried to stop crying.

My sobs became more infrequent as Mikey stroked my hair. He whispered, “Its okay… Don’t cry… You did so well, I barely felt it.”

At the last set of comforting words, I almost laughed. “That is such a lie,” I said, without much accusation. “It hurt way more than you’re letting on.”

“It doesn’t matter how much it hurt,” he said, “because I did the same thing to you. And you didn’t willingly give yourself up.”

“I was asleep. I barely felt it.”

“But I didn’t really know you then, so it didn’t really hurt me as much as it just hurt you to bite me. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have ever made you do that.”

“You’re sorry!” I exclaimed. “I probably just drank a gallon of your blood, and I almost liked it!” I pulled away and looked at him. His skin glistened with my tears, but there was no blood. He had already stopped bleeding.

“No,” he said, “it wasn’t really as much as you think. I should be sorry. I made you do it. I just couldn’t let you risk yourself to go and get someone else. My pain will last a few minutes, but what if you had gotten stabbed, shot, some fatal disease, or… violated in any other way. I would never forgive myself, but it was selfish of me not to let you choose. Just because I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt, I let you hurt me.”

“And hurting you hurt me,” I said, sighing. “God, this is way too confusing. Let’s just say that either way, we both would have gotten hurt.”

“And now I’m in pain because you’re in pain, and you’re in pain because I’m in pain,” he replied. He pulled me into a deep kiss before saying, “And we’re both killing each other.” I nodded.

Sitting side by side on the couch, I put my head in the crook of his neck. (Obviously the side I hadn’t bitten.) He had one arm around my shoulder and held my hand with his free one.

It was then that I said the words I thought I’d never speak. “Well we both better stop it, because I love you.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” he replied. “Now I can tell you that I love you too.”

We stayed exactly like that until Mikey asked me if I wanted lunch. He had the chef bring it up, and we watched Jaws together.

Everything was okay. I loved Mikey, and he loved me, and I knew we would be together forever.