A Thousand Reasons Why I Can't Have You

So maths went by quite smoothly with Mikey giving me pointers here and there. It's quite strange really cause until this lesson I haven't really had anyone talk to me properly but I meet someone like me within the first few minutes of sitting in a class with my year group. Awesome.

Now it's time for IT and I'm not in Mikey's class, so once I left maths I headed in the direction that Mikey had pointed out to me during maths. So I was on my own for IT, silly Mikey jacked me, Hah the kid won't be getting any skittles when we next have maths. Some people don't know how it feel's to be left out, feel alone or even trapped. The rare few that do save themselves somehow. Sometimes with suicide, eating skittles, or making new friends. Hmmm I need some skittles but I ate my only packet in maths. Grr, damn that smart arse Mikey.

I looked up at a clock as I squirmed through a crowd of people, to them I was invisible, I wasn't random happy Frank like I had been at my last school. I'd changed since then, I was the new and improved coniving depressed Frank. When I got to IT I had a very tall man as my teacher who wore glasses and just 'happened' to have the name Mr Processor. How ironic is that? Very if you ask me. After playing with a button, that I had picked up off of the floor, to play with on the desk, I heard a noisy ringing of a bell which told me that fourth period was over and that lunch had just begun.

I exited the classroom and dawdled down the corridor, towards as much as I could tell, where I had been at break. My mind was settled on that room because of the voice that stuck in my head right now. I wanted to be able to catch a glimpse of the guy that made me feel so happy earlier but I don't know these corridors very well, so it's gonna be a problem getting there. Other students being lazy arses won't budge out of my way causing me to lose all perspective of where I am in the school. I glanced down one corridor and it seemed exactly the same as the one before. I walked down some stairs and along two sets of corridors till I came to a corridor that looked familiar, I stared at a room to my left noticing the fact that it was the one from breaktime. Yes! I found it. I wish I had some skittles, I would celebrate with them. I looked into the room and found that it was an art room but to my amazement there was a guitar leaning up against the wall towards the other end and so I wandered over to have a look. It was a really decent SG which looked awesome, totally black and sexy. I picked it up and sat on a desk near by, I strummed along the strings and was soon doing different notes. Im learning the guitar at home, on my pansy, she may not look as nice as this baby but to me she's special, she's my everything. My baby. She's all I have left to hold onto sometimes, cause I miss all my old stuff, that is why moving sucks, but she makes my day a little brighter. When I stopped playing, some one clapped from behind me and I spun round fast.

"Well done." The teacher said, he was wearing a long white professor gown thing, like they do if they're science teachers. Anyway he walked over and patted me on the back. "Are you learning the guitar?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm, Do you enjoy it, that's the question." I nodded, showing him I understood him but I was confused like fuck. He took the guitar out of my hands and put it behind his desk before turning back to me. "What's your name boy?"

"Frank, sir, I'm new at this school. Started this morning, you know, dunno what to do." I shrugged as I didn't know what else to say, he nodded at me though.

"Well why don't you head to the canteen and get a bite to eat and make friends with some other students, Are you taking Music Frank?" Sir asked me, god how polite am I going to have to be. What is it with me I'm around people my age and I act normal, a teacher walks in and bang I'm a little politer because I ought to be. Knowing me in a few weeks, my grades will be plumenting and I shall be the least popular person I know.

"Yes sir I am, I think I have it next."

"Well I have something that I have to do now but come back at some point and I may be able to let you practise on this guitar, it's not mine but it's a friend so I'm sure he won't mind. If you use it." Jesus I hope this teacher doesn't think that I wanna be friends with him.

"What's your name sir?" I asked as we both walked out of his classroom.

"Mr Knight." I nodded at his lame name, I was ready to get away from him but I didn't know the way to the 'canteen'.

"Sir, where's the canteen?" He pointed the different ways with his hands, in a map kind of way, saying stuff like 'take a left here follow the corridor and then turn right and you'll be there.'.

I wandered again down the corridors that he said and slouched along, my bag already annoyed me today, I hated the fact that my sugar high from earlier in math's had vanished, this was no fun. I turned into a large hall where hundreds of kids sat eating food, chatting, laughing, queueing and flirting. I stood amazed, so this is where everyone would be, not lounging about outside playing football or maybe they do afterwards. I bent my head down heading for the food. Once I had got my lunch I turned to find a table that would be decent enough to sit down on. I looked around the room to see the guy from earlier who had everyone staring at him walking out the doors. Who is he?

The rest of the day went by slowly but I did manage in music to have a good lesson. I entered the room a few minutes late but the teacher didn't seem to mind, after I explained my situation of course, anyway he (yes my dumb music teacher is a man) did the register and then asked everyone to sit in a circle around his desk.... Like we were little tweleve year olds.... He asked each of us in turn to say why we picked music for our GCSE's. When it came to my turn everyone stared at me,

"I picked Music for my GCSE's because at my old school it was the only thing I had fun doing and didn't fail at, so er yeah." Everyone talked to each other and only one person spoke to me.

"What instruments do you play? Or do you sing?" I looked up at the girl, and smiled at her, she had dark brown eyes and long brown hair. A brunette if you ever saw one. I went to open my mouth but I forgot what to say.

"Oh, erm, I'm learning the guitar but I used to play the keyboard alot. Cause that's what they graded us on at Manilce School. What do you play...."

"Lisa. Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I am Lisa Delton, Don't ask about my last name I don't have any clue where my dad picked that up anyay, I play the keyboard and the piano, I try to sing but I don't think I can. Oh and I'm trying and almost failing to learn the guitar." I smiled at her again, she's one of a kind to talk to someone who hasn't actually been at this school a day.

"I'm Frank Iero, nice to meet you Lisa." She nodded.

"I think this year we get to choose what we play to be graded on, so I suppose that you will be graded on your guitar?" I nodded. "Hmmm, I wonder if you could teach me some stuff, my brother's not really a good teacher, he's got no patience. Would you mind if you're not... I'm sorry I'm so rude, You haven't even been here that long and I'm asking favours of you." She sighed and turned to go and play on the keyboard to the back of the room. I glanced at the board where I had seen her looking and everyone had to play something to the class that somes up an emotion of some kind. After they would have to write about why they chose that piece of music and why?

"Lisa," I called but just decided to get up and walk over to her as it's easier. She had some headphones over her head and I watched her slender fingers moving over the keys, she looked like a professional. I took some headphones that were also wired up to the same keyboard and slipped them over my head, so I could listen along. I felt the sad and slow melody wash over my body. My fringe fell into my eyes as I leaned forward and turned up the volume. Lisa stopped playing obviously suprised that I was listening. She took her head phones off and looked at me strangely.

"You're different Frank." She tilted her head to the side whilst looking at me, was she checking me out? No, she was just suming up why I was being so nice... Hell I didn't know either, all I knew was that she was gonna be a great mate. Hopefully.

"Is that good or bad?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"It's good, your not a jerk." She laughed at what she said and I found myself letting out a slight chuckle, well that was rare at the moment. Maybe this school will bring out the fun side of me rather than the side that well has been showing it's face for a long time now.

"I'll teach you the guitar if you help me with the keyboard and just these music lesson's in general."

"Okay. Done deal, so you need a guitar and I doubt you have brought yours in on the first day right. Well luckily for you I have." She got up and spoke to sir before disappearing out the door and coming back with the awesome SG from earlier. No way, that was hers, that would have cost loads.

"So you wanna show me what you're made of?" She asked handing me her guitar delicately. So I sat towards the back and began a song that I loved... I love rock and Roll, awesome song.

"Nice song." She congratulated me, it wasn't long until sir wanted everyone to play something. I wasn't the best in the class but I wasn't the worst either which was good I suppose.

"Hey Frank, If you ever need some one to talk to about stuff just come find me, I hang out down by the French block behind the wall usually. It's secluded and a great place for piece and quiet." Does that mean that she hangs out on her own? Poor kid if so.

"I shall consider it, don't worry." I walked home from school and jumped on my bed which was actually set up. I had a slightly bigger room than before but I still had to unpack all my junk. Oh this is going to be so much fun. I took Pansy out of her case and put her on her stand, she was the only thing that had to be kept perfect and on show.

Tuesday 5th September 2000

I went to school by myself and today I had two packs of skittles... When I got to school I found that I had Mikey in my Tutor room which meant that we were in the same Tutor. I sat down near the table he was at. I didn't know whether he had his own friends to sit with or if I would be intruding so I sat away from the Hyper kid. He noticed me when the bell went to say that Tutor had begun and sat next to me.

"Hey," He said as he looked at me. I turned and smiled at him flicking my fringe out of my eyes for the hundreth time today.

"Howdy, Mikey." A giant grin spread across him face as I said that.
"Whose the cowboy?" He laughed at him joke and my mouth betrayed me into smiling. This kid comes out with the funniest things that mke him laugh... It's so contagious I have to laugh at him. Stupid little glasses butt person.

"Hmmm dunno my arse most likely." We laughed again. Our teacher was pissed and told us to keep our voices down.

"Well I ain't checking to see if it has a hat so I'll take your word for it Frank." I laughed at him, this must be the randomest person I have ever met. "Frank, where do you hang out at lunch?"

"Err. Dunno, I probably will just go and get something to eat and then hover back to tutor why?"

"Why not come and sit with me at lunch I should be there for the start and that." I shrugged and nodded at him.

"Alright then I'll meet you there."

--------------------Time elapse four hours later---------------------------

It was the start of break and I went to the canteen and queued again for my food, god if you don't get here quick enough it can take over fifteen minutes to get your lunch like it did with me. I took my food and wandered past the dinner ladies in search of once again a place to sit down to eat some grub. I looked up and noticed that guy leaving again. Was it just me or did I like seeing the back of his head a lot. Maybe I can ask Mikey what the deal is with him. Why everyone talks about his 'cool' hair.

I heard my name being called as I daydreamed about the guys face.

"Frank! Frank!" The voice shouted, my eyes swivelled round to pin point the location of the out burst. It was Mikey, he sat alone near the back of the room, I dragged my tired arse over to where he was and dumped my tray down beside him.

"Howdy, what's up Mikey?"

"Not much cowboy. Just don't take your hat off or you might explode." I looked at him funny what was he on about? "You, know you could fart...explode get it." His face was moving in a circular motion like I was the dumbest person alive.

"Oit, and for that Mikey you aint getting no skittles later." I threatened.

"Oh but that's no fair, Frank." His smile dropped and I felt like I had been mean then, I was doing it again pushing people away, no wonder all my old friends Jacked me when they saw I was in trouble. "Well I suppose it's your own loss as I was gonna invite you to an awesome party to meet all my mates but maybe I won't now. Cause your too obsessed with being a skittle whore." I looked at him oddly. A party? Did he say a party... When ... I haven't been invited to a party in years.

"Wait was that a party, I love parties, I'm the king of the jungle baby. Please can I go Mikes." I said really eagerly... Maybe a little too eagerly but Mikey smiled.

"Now, now, what were you saying about those skittles?" Damn him and his black mail. I gave him some skittles and in return he told me about the party this weekend that him and a few people were going to. He said that I could tag along with him... So i'm gonna have my self a good time...

-- Friday 8th september 2000---After School--- (dont ask about it being set in 2000 i randomly put that and it stuck!)--

*Frank's POV*

So I sat in my living room, nearly falling off the edge of the couch waiting for Mikey's mum or dad to come pick me up to take me to this party. Mikey said that a few of his friends would be going and I hadn't really asked him about it. All I had said to my mum was that I was staying round Mikey's and if she wanted me to ring my mobile. My very old Mobile, it's a thirty three ten and it fits in my tight black jeans perfectly. I was also wearing a Misfits top and a Bullet For My Valentine jumper (I don't care about dates Im actually using some for once so don't kill me!) well hoody, I don't wear many jumpers I think they're a little old and outter date. Plus my mum used to force me to wear them when I was younger what a drag I tell you. To just imagine your self in an item of clothing that you wouldn't be seen in now, thats a torture that will never grow old. And to think we can do it to the next generation. Muahahahah. I hadn't done much with my hair it was in a side parting like usual and my fringe got in my way like usual. However I had put some eyeliner on so it should be awesome, well I dunno but my mum does little wolf whistles when ever I walk in the room now and god it's annoying, I swear she'll give me a headache ... Or just scar me for life for doing it at all.

I heard a knock on my door and flew to open it. It was getting dark outside, just how you would expect though at half seven in the evening, in the middle of the getting to winter period of the year. I saw Mikey standing outside my door and almost lept at him, that's how hyper I was, maybe having skittles for dinner wasn't so good after all. I slammed the door behind me shut as I ran down the path expecting to see a car, that's when I stopped abruptly looking up and down the road. No car.

"Hey, Mikes where's our ride?" I asked puzzled. He laughed at me and walked off down the pavement.

"It ain't that far Frank come on we'll walk." I rolled my eyes but ran ahead of him after I had caught him up. "How many packets of skittles have you eaten Frank?" I stood shyly about fifteen foot ahead of him but his walking speed meant he was catching up.

"Ermm, only a few." I stared down at my feet. Mikes stopped in front of me.

"How many?" He stared kindly but quizically at me.

"Four." That's when I gulped because Mikey threw his hands into the air and had a rant in front of me.

"Thats gonna leave you hyper for the rest of the night, and what if you get drunk huh? How will I cope with you then. God Frank, I can't leave you for a few hours to stay unhyper can I?" Well der otherwise I wouldn't be like this silly. I skipped the rest of the way to... Hmmm whose house did Mikey say it was?

"Where we going Mikes?"

"Steven's house, he's a friend of my brothers." I looked at him.

"You have a brother. You never mentioned him."

"You never asked oh so hyper one. Plus my brother kinda doesn't hang out with me like he used to, not since my grandma died, that wasn't too long ago now but I know he still feels the pain every day. Some how I can just tell he's not the same person anymore. He dyed his hair cause he wanted a change of who he was. Stupid fucker. Anyway, we're here." He said looking up at a house which had loud music and loads of lights all over the place.

"Awesome." I said and then walked towards the door, yes I know I just had my best friend pour a little of his heart out to me but I was hyper and alittle weird and so I kinda shrugged it off. I knocked on the door, No-one answered so we opened the door and stepped inside I walked around the house looking at all the people who had turned up Mikey right behind me. Some guy saw Mikey and went up to talk to him.

"Hey, Mikey, so glad you could come, Whose your friend?" The guy was looking at me strangely, like he knew he didn't know me.

"Thats Frank and have you seen my brother he said he was coming." Mikey's face was a little anxious.

"Yeah, your brothers in the kitchen, dude having some pizza and beer. Chill out Mikey have some fun, loosen up kid." Then with that the guy vanished and Mikey reading my thoughts just said one word to me.

"Steven." I nodded and followed Mikey to what seemed like the Kitchen he handed me a drink of beer I think it was. I don't even think he cared that we were under aged he just picked one up himself. I gulped mine down straight away and it took away some of my loneliness. Don't ask I just randomly feel lonely cause of being some where else. I almost feel naked cause I don't anyone and they're all crowded round me. The beer numbed the pain and loneliness so I took another cup and that turned into three then five then seven. And slowly my world turned up-side downnnn..

*Gerard's POV*

My brother came up behind me as I started on my second beer of the evening and my second slice of pizza of the night, in my other hand. He sighed waiting for me to acknowlege him properly, so I turned round and grunted a hey to him before noticing that kid from the other day drinking some beers opposite me. His face was beautiful, his eyes stood out like like mini ornaments, and I swear my heart stopped beating. I had only ever felt this way about one other person and frankly he was in the other room, just waiting for me to show up and see him. The only reason I had beer in my hand was cause he wouldn't let me drink any when I sit with him. He wants me to get over my pain with his help not alcohols, he doesn't understand that he's not helping. He doesn't numb the pain, alcohol does though.

His eyes, I could stare at them all day I swear. The eye liner so defined and purposeful, when I looked at what he was wearing I felt a little 'someone' jump with excitedness. Good thing I had a table in the way. Mikey caught me looking and smiled at me.

"That's Frank, Gerard, my mate from school I was telling you about the other night. If you were paying attention." I heard him mutter the last bit but I acted like I hadn't. I felt every bone in my body respond to his stare when he looked at me once. I knew it then, I wanted a piece of him tonight.