Secrets Are Untold Lies

"Honey, are you alright?" Frank asked, his head and upper body visible from around the door frame. He was staring at Jamia somewhat worriedly, his eyebrows knitted together and his face almost blank.

Jamia, on the other hand, had barely heard her husband. She was too busy staring out of the bay window in their living room. When Frank's voice registered in her head, she slowly moved her gaze towards the doorway, where his face had gotten continually worse. Why had it taken her so long to notice him?

"What?" Jamia said softly, looking at Frank with a sad expression.

"I asked if you were okay," replied Frank, appearing fully in the doorway and making his way over to his wife. "You were sitting there for like twenty minutes, not moving at all and just looking out the window. It kinda worried me."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Jamia blushed slightly as she looked down at her lap. She didn't realize Frank would come into their living room and find her lost in her thoughts. It's not her fault that she had been thinking about what went on during her teenage years a lot more frequently since she'd been married.

Frank sat down next to Jamia, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him lovingly. "You've been really distant lately, Jamia...is there something on your mind?"

Jamia snuggled up to her husband, not quite yet ready to answer his question. Of course she had something on her mind, this something has been haunting her more and more as the days pass. But was she ready to tell Frank? Could she manage to let it slip from her lips after a decade of silence? She hadn't even meant to tell her parents about it, really - they would never have known if Jamia hadn't been so drunk those years.

Frank pulled her a little more tightly to his chest, getting increasingly worried with her silence. Was it something to do with him? She had been really moody and sad ever since they had been married, always either staring off into space or pretending to be really happy. He wasn't stupid - he knew when she was genuinely smiling and when she was faking it. She had been faking it a lot recently.

Was he not a good enough husband for her? Did she suddenly lose interest in him after five years of dating? Jamia had expressed her fears of marrying after a year and a half of being with him, maybe she was just trying to get used to being married? But that was practically four years ago! Jamia had been the one to accept his proposal and she was always the one more worried about the details of the wedding than he ever was. Maybe she was just masking her true feelings? Could she possibly not love him anymore?

Frank shook the depressing thoughts away, making small little back-and-forth motions with his head. Of course Jamia still loved him! That's why she was still with him. He knew she wouldn't leave him just like this. They've both had their ups and downs, but one has always been there for the other and this time it isn't going to be any different. Frank was going to get Jamia back to her happy self.

Jamia took his head motions as something completely different from what they actually were. Was Frank disappointed in her for not speaking? He couldn't possibly understand why she wasn't willing to tell him because he had no knowledge of what Jamia had done. Jamia's eyes widened slightly, coming to a short realization that Frank must be getting tired of her depressing antics and be thinking about leaving her. She panicked. How could Frank even think about leaving her? They were married! They loved each other more than any other one person in the world! Or maybe that was just Jamia's feelings? What if Frank realized that he didn't love a constantly depressed girl?

"You know you can tell me no matter what it is," whispered Frank as he kissed the top of Jamia's head. Jamia only pushed her body into Frank's more, hoping to convey a sense of urgency and need. Jamia needed Frank, no matter if he knew her secret or not. If Frank left her she would surely crumble to pieces; he was her world, and if he admitted that he didn't love her anymore she wasn't sure whether she'd be able to continue on with her life, depressed or not.

Jamia shook her head slightly and clung to Frank, not wanting to let him out of her grasp for fear of him just walking out of their house forever. "Let's go get something to eat, I'm starving."

Jamia sat up slowly and put on a small smile for Frank as she pulled him up with her. Frank had the most confused look on his face, but Jamia paid it no mind as she led him into the kitchen. What better way to take his mind off of things than with food?

Jamia busied herself in the kitchen with making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while Frank sat at the kitchen table, just watching Jamia closely. She had been clinging to him, almost near tears from his viewpoint, and then abruptly stands up and brings him into the kitchen for food? She had just faked another smile for him, something he wasn't very fond of. Could he not make her happy? Why wouldn't she tell him what was wrong?

Frank let his thoughts and anguish slide as Jamia gave him his plate with a sandwich and some chips on it. He looked up at Jamia with a soft look which he hoped conveyed love and care, though with a touch of I'm-not-letting-you-get-off-this-easily. Jamia only smiled a little in return and sat down at the table across from him, biting into her sandwich but not really wanting to eat it.