Why did I fall in love with you, my best friend (when you're engaged)?
The Reunion.
Maybe I am going to die this way, with a maniac pointing the gun at me, in my failed attempt to save someone's fiancee.
How beautiful.
Yet, in my last moments, I don't seem to feel afraid. I felt, as though I am suppose to die this way, that I wanted it to end this way. To die as a failed heroin in a stupid bus. Maybe I shouldn't even be buried but burned because I am certainly not helping the passengers. I just wished I had stayed with Gerard longer, maybe ... just maybe I don't have to be in this bus and be with Gerard a little longer. And-
"Satisfied aren't you? Saving this girl and disfiguring me in front of everyone?" he said, in a calm manner as though hinting that my death was inevitable.
I remained sitting down on the floor, unsure whether to look at his disturbing face or at the floor.
Yes, I am satisfied but something tells me its more sick that it seems.
"Daddy? Mummy, is that daddy?" A melodious, soothing voice melted the tense atmosphere for a moment.
He cocked an eyebrow, and pointed the gun towards the passengers. Some of them gasped and they huddled together, closer than before.
"Be quiet!" He shrieked at them, his eyes wild. I jumped out of my skin, taken aback by his sudden outburst.
"Mummy.. I..I think he's daddy. Why is he so angry, Mummy? " That silky voice again, this time softer and ... shivering.
"Who is that?!" He hollered, swerving around, arms still straight as he held the gun firmly. His eyes narrowed into tiny slits and when he inched closer towards the passengers, I could tell everyone was trying to hold their breath.
"Shh. Don't talk. He's not daddy!"Another female voice gushed, most probably in her mid thirties and with a strong sense of urgency... maybe even fear.
"Uhh..Wh-o.. Is t-that.." . This guy is really getting on my nerves; so calm at first, angry at the next moment, and then now...stammering?!
I know this sounds crazy, but if he really wants to kill me, he should kill me when he had the chance. I mean, him killing me would save me from suicide shame, if I can't hold myself together at the wedding ceremony. Maybe even save me from going to the bar and having a hangover, cause alcohol seems so appealing than thinking about Gerard ... not like I would even remember Gerard after I am dead.
"Oh my god! Is that you, Natalie?!" The gun shaking, almost slipping off his hands. Somehow, his cold voice and violent demeanour just faded away and I could sense...something like... something warm in his voice.
"Mummy! I told you its daddy!"
"What?" A soft gasp escaped my dry lips. Luckily, he didn't hear me. Who knows what he will do next?
Seriously,... this guy has a family? Earth to Mother Earth, is there an error or something?!
"Mummy, let me go! Its daddy! Can't you see?"
I could hear some struggles before the tiny beep-beep sounds as she ran towards him.
"Johnny, please don't hurt her.." A woman, with curly white hair and a brown plain dress, stood up.
"I won't." He replied curtly, deadpan.
He kneeled down, grasped her arms and buried his face in her neck.
"Natalie.." He moaned her name, a flood of pain just seem to pour from inside of him.
"Daddy!" She squealed in delight as he pulled away and look at her in the eyes. Even though I am a distance away from him, the glistening tears that ran down his face...looked so pure.
"Natalie! I miss you so much!" He showered her forehead with kisses and ruffled her blonde hair.
"Have you been a good girl to mommy?"
"Of course daddy! Mommy says if I am good, she will bring me on a holiday! Can you come too?"
"I don't think I can honey.. I am busy.. with stuff." His voice, gentle but bitter as hee looked down at her shoes, while caressing her fingers.
"Oh okay.. but if you're not busy anymore.. Can you come?" She pleaded.
He looked up and gave an awkward laugh as a bitter taste ran to my tongue.
"Of course honey! Of course." He smiled, but his eyes weren't co-operating.
It felt so surreal, him looking such a loving father when in a moment ago, he was about to kill me, right in front of his daughter!
"Hey Johnny."Mary Anne suddenly spoke, crashing the happy moment between the daughter and father.
Something that taste like bat's pee snuggled in my stomach.
"What did you mean busy... with stuff? Am I stuff?!" A ripple of anger splashed at my face.
This isn't good..
How beautiful.
Yet, in my last moments, I don't seem to feel afraid. I felt, as though I am suppose to die this way, that I wanted it to end this way. To die as a failed heroin in a stupid bus. Maybe I shouldn't even be buried but burned because I am certainly not helping the passengers. I just wished I had stayed with Gerard longer, maybe ... just maybe I don't have to be in this bus and be with Gerard a little longer. And-
"Satisfied aren't you? Saving this girl and disfiguring me in front of everyone?" he said, in a calm manner as though hinting that my death was inevitable.
I remained sitting down on the floor, unsure whether to look at his disturbing face or at the floor.
Yes, I am satisfied but something tells me its more sick that it seems.
"Daddy? Mummy, is that daddy?" A melodious, soothing voice melted the tense atmosphere for a moment.
He cocked an eyebrow, and pointed the gun towards the passengers. Some of them gasped and they huddled together, closer than before.
"Be quiet!" He shrieked at them, his eyes wild. I jumped out of my skin, taken aback by his sudden outburst.
"Mummy.. I..I think he's daddy. Why is he so angry, Mummy? " That silky voice again, this time softer and ... shivering.
"Who is that?!" He hollered, swerving around, arms still straight as he held the gun firmly. His eyes narrowed into tiny slits and when he inched closer towards the passengers, I could tell everyone was trying to hold their breath.
"Shh. Don't talk. He's not daddy!"Another female voice gushed, most probably in her mid thirties and with a strong sense of urgency... maybe even fear.
"Uhh..Wh-o.. Is t-that.." . This guy is really getting on my nerves; so calm at first, angry at the next moment, and then now...stammering?!
I know this sounds crazy, but if he really wants to kill me, he should kill me when he had the chance. I mean, him killing me would save me from suicide shame, if I can't hold myself together at the wedding ceremony. Maybe even save me from going to the bar and having a hangover, cause alcohol seems so appealing than thinking about Gerard ... not like I would even remember Gerard after I am dead.
"Oh my god! Is that you, Natalie?!" The gun shaking, almost slipping off his hands. Somehow, his cold voice and violent demeanour just faded away and I could sense...something like... something warm in his voice.
"Mummy! I told you its daddy!"
"What?" A soft gasp escaped my dry lips. Luckily, he didn't hear me. Who knows what he will do next?
Seriously,... this guy has a family? Earth to Mother Earth, is there an error or something?!
"Mummy, let me go! Its daddy! Can't you see?"
I could hear some struggles before the tiny beep-beep sounds as she ran towards him.
"Johnny, please don't hurt her.." A woman, with curly white hair and a brown plain dress, stood up.
"I won't." He replied curtly, deadpan.
He kneeled down, grasped her arms and buried his face in her neck.
"Natalie.." He moaned her name, a flood of pain just seem to pour from inside of him.
"Daddy!" She squealed in delight as he pulled away and look at her in the eyes. Even though I am a distance away from him, the glistening tears that ran down his face...looked so pure.
"Natalie! I miss you so much!" He showered her forehead with kisses and ruffled her blonde hair.
"Have you been a good girl to mommy?"
"Of course daddy! Mommy says if I am good, she will bring me on a holiday! Can you come too?"
"I don't think I can honey.. I am busy.. with stuff." His voice, gentle but bitter as hee looked down at her shoes, while caressing her fingers.
"Oh okay.. but if you're not busy anymore.. Can you come?" She pleaded.
He looked up and gave an awkward laugh as a bitter taste ran to my tongue.
"Of course honey! Of course." He smiled, but his eyes weren't co-operating.
It felt so surreal, him looking such a loving father when in a moment ago, he was about to kill me, right in front of his daughter!
"Hey Johnny."Mary Anne suddenly spoke, crashing the happy moment between the daughter and father.
Something that taste like bat's pee snuggled in my stomach.
"What did you mean busy... with stuff? Am I stuff?!" A ripple of anger splashed at my face.
This isn't good..