Crash

Even over the sound of the steady stream of water roaring in my ears and pattering against the shower walls, I could hear the front door slam and footsteps go stomping by the door. The cacophony climaxed with the slam of a door across the hallway, which was obviously Gerard's room; as if his heavy tread hadn't been enough for me to identify that. Flicking the water off and poking my head out of the curtain, I could hear his sobs resonating throughout the house, loud enough for me to even hear his shuddery intakes of breath in between each spurt.

Something had happened to make Gerard's weak defenses snap and I hadn't had anything to do with it... not directly, at least. Giving myself a quick dry off and securing a white towel around my waist, I slowly crept out into the hallway, putting all my concentration on my hearing.

Gerard wasn't the only one sobbing like a child; from the right, I could hear quiet sniffles coming from our front step. I was definitely intrigued now, especially after glimpsing Frank, sitting with his back to the door and his head bowed. Ignoring that I wasn't wearing anything in the ways of actual clothing, I stepped out the door, briefly shivering as the cool breeze hit my still damp skin.

"What's got you down Frankie?" I asked, leaning against the doorway in what was supposed to be a natural pose. As he briefly glimpsed up, I could see his eyes widen comically and his skin tint a pale pink before returning his gaze to the cement, fingers groping through his pockets.

"Just... stuff," he sighed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out and jamming one between his lips. That small, simple gesture alone made him look years older, as if the skin on his skull had been tightened to make him appear more world weary and tired. His guard was obviously down, his vulnerability level at an all time high. If there was any time that I would have the opportunity to slyly infiltrate the wall around him, it was now.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked, sitting down beside him and biting back a smirk when I could feel his body stiffen as our arms touched. Smoke blew out from between his lips for a few moments, the only real sign that he was still conscious.

"I guess I'm just confused," he muttered, handing the cigarette to me as he absently rubbed his jaw. "I mean, you ever had that feeling where you think someone likes you, really likes you, and then they turn around and rip your fucking heart out?"

His confession was obviously aimed at Gerard, although it was also obvious that some wires had been snipped somewhere in their argument. I knew my brother far more intimately than Frank ever could, I knew exactly how he thought and all the little quirks he possessed. He wasn't the kind of person to lead someone on, especially someone as... intriguing, as Frank was.

Maybe my company was already having a true impact on him.

"Yeah actually, I know completely what you're feeling," I responded, forcing myself to bite back a few stray giggles that were threatening to escape. "There was this girl, about two years ago, and I was just... head over heels for her, drop anything and run to her side crazy for her. And she just soaked it up like a sponge, got me thinking that I might even have a chance with her." I strategically trailed off, leaving the bait and just waiting for the dear fish to take it.

"Did you ask her out?" Frank asked, much quicker than I had expected. It was the first bit of impatience I'd seen in him, but I didn't mind at all.

"I did. 'I think you're a sweet guy but we're better off being friends.' That's what she told me." I tightened my knuckles on my kneecap, gripping Frank's smoldering cigarette hard enough to make it crumble. An ember struck the towel and left a black mark, briefly singing my skin.

"That's harsh," he whispered, barely audible over the general sounds of daily life. "Mine's not really that bad but... it hurts." As he looked away, staring off down the street, I allowed myself a brief moment of personal victory, relishing in his complete belief in everything I'd said. There'd never been a girl that had been able to drive me mad with lust; the only person who had that honor was the boy that was probably still weeping in his bedroom.

But if things continued the way they were, it wasn't hard to imagine Frank lying underneath me, nails scrabbling over my skin while our bodies submitted to the most primitive urge.

"Yeah, girls are bitches," I sighed, standing up and allowing my towel to slide a little further down my hips. "That's why I went back to boys."

The look on his face was another classic; apparently he hadn't taken my little "flirtations" earlier seriously. Before his jaw dropped completely off, I held a hand out and pulled him off the concrete step, wincing a little as I realized just how little padding a towel had.

"C'mon, let's go somewhere a little warmer, and we can keep talking."

***

The sobs that had been so prevalent earlier had gone silent; the only noise in our home was the loud snores drifting out of my mother's bedroom and past her closed door. I was afraid that I'd have to practically drag Frank away from Gerard's bedroom but he hurriedly went past it, trying to disguise a sniffle or two as a sneeze.

The room Mom had put me in was really nothing more than a glorified storage closet with just enough room for a twin size bed and a narrow dresser with the paint peeling off it. I didn't expect her to be able to hustle up hotel style accommodations with no warning at all, but it still infuriated me. The living room would have been better.

"I apologize for it being so small," I said, putting on the guise of a perfect host. "I kind of showed up unexpected."

"I noticed," Frank said, closing the door behind him, which was another thing that surprised me; his uneasiness has seemed to have completely disappeared, even in the rather close quarters. He made himself at home, lying down on my bed with his finger tips tracing along the wall.

"Are you going to put pants on?" he asked unexpectedly, making me remember my lack of clothing. I murmured an affirmation and reached into one of the drawers, dropping the towel and pulling on a pair of pajama's pants as quick as I could. I had to carefully calculate my next moves. Frank's guard was still down but I didn't want him to become wary of me too fast; subtleness truly was key.

And, as much as I hated to admit it, wearing just a towel probably wasn't a very subtle decision on my behalf.

"So," I sighed, lying down on the bed as well, "do you want to go into any more detail about that situation?" His tracing of the wall continued and I watched as he created images of swirls and loops, going over and over them until I was sure he would actually wear the paint down.

"It's your brother," he groaned, rolling over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling only ten feet above our heads. "I thought everything was going to be perfect but he just... he keeps freaking!" Although the volume of his words had increased, it wasn't from anger, but... frustration. "Every time I think things are finally going to settle out, he gets set off again and it's just so... I don't even know what. I want him so bad but I don't know what I'm doing wrong!"

"Maybe you're not doing anything wrong," I casually threw out, shrugging my shoulders for emphasis. He rolled onto his side, facing me and I continued. "Lord knows I love my brother, I really do, but he's always been a little... unstable. When we were younger, he used to be cruel all the time, playing pranks on his friends, kicking our dog... stuff like that. And when my parents separated, my Mom took Gerard because she thought she could control him better."

Really, what I was saying wasn't a complete lie; I was just telling my own story with a few name substitutions.

"But that doesn't sound like Gerard at all," Frank protested, propping himself up on one elbow. "I've never seen him act out towards anyone, he's never even fought back when someone picks on him."

"It's amazing what pills can do," I sighed, watching his eyes briefly flicker. "As long as he takes them, he's fine, maybe a little depressed. But without them... he's a monster."

"Why would he keep this from me?" he whispered, body going limp as he collapsed onto my mattress. "What kind of person would hide that from someone they love?"

"In his own, twisted way, I guess it was just him trying to protect you." The tears were now returning in full force and I was immediately there to wipe them away, using my thumb to smear them off his cheeks. He moved his face into it, reminding me like of a cat begging for attention. I slowly let myself close the narrow gap between our bodies, which wasn't a difficult task due to the size of the bed.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, smiling slightly. "I'm not used to being such a sap." His breath was warm on my cheek, making my blood start to simmer as it brushed against my skin.

"It's fine," I grinned, leaving my hand on his damp cheek, thumb tracing along his jawbone as I softened him up just a bit more. "Let me help you feel better." Quick flashes of hesitation appeared in his eyes, each one reminding me of what a beautiful creature I was corrupting with my propaganda.

"Okay," he whispered, subconsciously rubbing his lips together, as if he already knew what I had planned.

When I kissed him, just letting our mouths press against each other softly, I already knew that this was truly the beginning of something far, far deeper and more screwed up than anything I'd schemed up while in my years of exile. Even as my tongue lightly traced his full lips, making him whimper the slightest, I allowed myself another smirk, barely perceptible.

Gerard had only thought I could make his life worse... but his downward spiral was going to be even worse than either of us had known.