Crash

To put it bluntly, it feels like my stomach is lodged in my throat, blocking my lungs and messing with my ability to think clearly. I've been up since the sun rose, sitting out in my back yard so I could stare at the sheer beauty that graced the sky in the early hours. I've always loved to do this, mainly because it reminds me of my definition of perfection; that being my best friend, although I like to imagine that someday we'll be more.

Although his outward appearance is usually dark and gloomy, his body always shielded by thick, black material, the magnificent reds and oranges remind me of how truly beautiful he really is. He tries to hide it from the world, using his long hair and hoods, but it still shines right through.

I may be the only one that sees it, but he is beautiful. I've been trying to tell him this for god knows how long, but it's an uphill battle; the word of one is only so strong against that of a dozen after all.

But today, I'm really going to try my hardest, with all my heart, to make him feel beautiful. That's all I want; is to make him happy, even if it's for a mere fraction of time. I want to see him genuinely smile, because of something I've done.

I glanced down at my wrist watch before sliding off of our splintery picnic table and heading back inside. The event I'm affectionately referring to as our date is in an hour, but I want to arrive early and surprise him. It's not like it's that far of a walk anyways; he literally only lives three houses to my right. If I lie on my roof, which is really my preferred spot for enjoying the sunrise, I can see the window of his room, completely blocked off by a thick blue curtain.

It's almost physically painful, living this close to him but still hiding my true feelings from him; hiding how much I want to hold him in my arms and whisper that he's going to be okay, tell him that he's beautiful to me. After dropping hints for almost a year now, he's still oblivious, so I guess it's time for me to step my efforts up a notch; namely, by being as flirtatious and seductive as possible. If that involves kissing him out of thin air, then so be it. I just want him to know that there is someone out there who loves and cares about him.

After sitting on my bed for nearly half an hour, practically twitching with both boredom and excitement, I simply couldn't wait anymore. I completely disregarded the fact that I was still half an hour early and bounded downstairs, nearly tripping over my cat and breaking my neck.

"Mom, I'm leaving now!" I called into the living room, where my mother was sewing on the couch.

"Alright dear; be careful!" she yelled as I headed out the door. My mom always said that, no matter where I was going, but I never found it annoying. She was just looking out for me after all, which was a lot better than having a mother who didn't care about your welfare at all.

As I expected, his mother answered the door, looking rather upbeat for such a rather early hour. I could only hope that his mood matched hers.

"Hello dear," she said, smiling and stepping aside so I could enter. "You're a bit early, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I just couldn't wait any longer," I said, listening to the faint hustle and bustle coming from down the hallway. I'd only been in this house once or twice, but I still got the same feeling as I had the first time I'd visited. It was... cozy. Even though it was dark, filled with collective swords and horror movie memorabilia, it was still comfier than any typical American home I'd ever been in.

"Well, I'll just tell him you're here then," she said, smiling a bit more before heading down the hallway a bit to where I'm assuming the bathroom was. I let myself into the living room and studied the pictures on the walls; for some reason, the lack of family ones struck me as odd.

I didn't have too long to ponder this point though; out of the corner of my eye, I saw him appear in the doorway and I just couldn't help myself.

"Good morning gorgeous!" I yelled, jumping at him and hugging him as tightly as I could. I could faintly hear him greet me as well, but I was too ecstatic to feel his arms wrap around my waist. I probably could have sat there all day, simply holding him close. But we did have a date, so I had to end the moment far too soon.

"Are you ready to go wild?" I asked, grinning wildly while discreetly studying his appearance. He looked happier than I'd seen him in a long time and at the same time, he looked positively gorgeous. He had played up his stunning eyes with some light eyeliner and he wasn't attempting to hide his body in baggy clothing; his pants alone were enough to almost make me faint.

"Where exactly are you taking me?" he asked, smiling so widely he was showing off all his teeth.

"We, my incredibly sexy darling, are going to the aquarium!" I declared, pumping my fist into the air. For a heart-stopping moment, I could have sworn that a faint blush appeared on his face but it was gone as soon as I glimpsed it. I was definitely going to try harder, just so I could see that happen again.

"An aquarium?" he asked as I took his hand and pulled him towards the front door. "I've never been to one of those."

"Neither have I, but it looks like fun... bye Ms. Way!" I yelled as an afterthought before he shut the door behind us. His hand was still clasped in my own and I squeezed it gently before we started off walking down the street.

"Are we walking the entire way?" I could hear the slight unease in his voice and I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment, smiling reassuringly.

"It's not that far and trust me... no one is going to bother us. I have mad skills with seagulls, you know?"

"Mad skills... with seagulls? I would love to see that," he snorted, rolling his eyes slightly.

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His laugh was probably the sweetest thing in the world, and I did many silly things in order to guarantee I heard it as many times as possible. On our walk to the aquarium, I don't think he stopped laughing for a time span of five minutes; every time he was finally returning to the state of breathing normally, I would start chasing birds or singing New Kids On The Block at the top of my lungs, and he would be off again.

The parking lot of the aquarium, which had a generic name I couldn't be bothered to remember, was filled with a few tour buses and some soccer mom SUV's. It was also filled with seagulls, which was where I got my chance to prove that I truly did have mad skills.

"Watch this," I said before taking off across the parking lot, waving my arms and screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Stupid birds, go explode from salt!" I screeched, nearly tripping over a pothole. I took a quick glance backwards to see him sitting on the ground, head in his hands and shaking from hysterical laughter. After sending the birds flying I returned to where he was slowly returning to his feet, his eyes threatening to spill over with tears.

"Jesus... Christ," he panted, dabbing at his eyeliner carefully.

"What about him? I hear he's a pretty cool guy," I answered, making him snort again. I could feel my grin threatening to split my face in two so I grabbed his hand again and started pulling him towards the main entrance. We both started pulling our wallets out at the same time but I quickly plucked his away, shoving it into my own pocket.

"Give that back," he said after I had paid for our entrance in.

"No. Everything you want today is on the house, my treat." He smiled once again and I hooked my arm around his waist, steering him over to the first tank on our right, which contained piranhas.

"Look at the teeth on those things!" I exclaimed, leaning over so my nose was pressed up against the glass. After only a few seconds, I dragged him off to another exhibit, going up on my tip-toes so I could see over a bunch of what appeared to be sixth graders. This pattern continued for almost the next hour; I pulled him all over the place, making sure we got to see every single tank. He didn't seem to care, as his smile didn't leave his face the entire time.

It was the first time I'd ever seen him genuinely happy for any long period of time, and I wasn't about to let that stop anytime soon. After awhile, we found ourselves in a much larger room that contained an above ground habitat filled with penguins, one of my favorite animals. Needless to say, I practically squealed when I saw them.

"Whoa short stuff, calm down," he said as I nearly yanked his arm off pulling him over to the guard rail. "You're gonna end up head first in there if you're not careful."

"Oh, good idea!" I started bringing my leg up to throw over the railing, only to feel his arms around my waist pulling me back against him.

"Don't you even think about it," he murmured. I let my hands rest on top of his and rubbed my thumb across the back of his wrist, searching for any reaction. He sighed quietly and let go of me, blushing extensively.

I was finally making progress, but why was he so nervous? I took his hand again and steered us towards the exit, gripping tightly. This day was going by far too fast, and I never wanted it to end.

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We stayed at the aquarium for another two hours but when things started to get boring, we headed back home. On the walk back, he seemed unusually silent; he just smiled slightly at me, only talking a few times. Far too soon found us back in front of his doorway, with me still holding his hand. I really didn't want to leave him just yet... something was obviously up.

"Hey, do you think we could watch a movie together before I go home?" I boldly asked, not expecting him to answer kindly.

"Uhm... okay," he said softly, letting go of my hand so he could open the door. By the time I finished kicking off my shoes, he had already disappeared down the hallway into his bedroom.

"In here Frank," he called softly, letting me locate his room. It was surprisingly clean, with only a few various articles of clothing scattered across the floor. The walls were adorned with various things, ranging from photographs to posters to drawings, the latter of which were obviously done with great skill and care.

"So, what do you wanna watch?" he asked, opening a cabinet beneath his television stand and snapping me out of my trance.

"Uhm... it doesn't matter to me," I said, sitting on his bed. "Preferably something that isn't too scary."

"Well, I have one of the old Superman movies, with Christopher Reeves. Is that okay?" I nodded and he put the movie in, getting up to shut the door before lying down beside me. I rolled over and cuddled into his side, letting my head rest on his chest just above his heart. He didn't react until about ten minutes into the movie, which was when I was beginning to give up on getting through to him.

"Was it just for attention?" he asked quietly, barely coherent above the movie.

"What?" I asked, needing clarification.

"Was it just for attention?" he repeated, not taking his gaze off the screen. "Like, you know... today."

It took me a few moments to realize and comprehend what he meant, and I just wanted to groan. He was either the most oblivious person in the world or dumb; I'd been dropping hints all day and he still didn't realize. There was only one thing I could think of that would finally make him understand just what he truly was to me.

"Gee," I whispered, sliding up his body a bit and using my hand to tilt his head towards me. His eyes were half closed, full of wonder and questions.

There was nothing I wanted more than to answer those questions, so I leaned up and did what I had wanted to do for so long.

I kissed him.