The First Cut is the Deepest

It's been exactly one week since the day I spread that rumor about Will and since I had apologized to him about spreading that same rumor. Ever since then, Will, of course, was the talk of the whole school. I wasn't surprised though. Anyone would be the talk of the whole school if they had someone spread that bad of a rumor around.

What did surprise me though was that Will and I were being civil. Or we were something pretty close to it. Yeah, we would bicker every so often, but nothing too serious. Ever since then, we haven't gotten into a major big fight. Everything was going smoothly and it seemed that everything was okay between us. That is, until, I was going through my texts after school in our room.

I walked into our dorm room, Will following after me. I took my time walking in as I texted Erin back. She was telling me a bunch of gossip back in California. Apparently, that douchebag Jason and that whorebag Tracy had broken up. Well, that was interesting to know.

"Could you hurry up?" Will asked from behind me.

"Shut up," I simply said, walking over to my bed, dropping my bag on the floor next to it. As I sat down on my bed, I could just tell that he was rolling his eyes at me. I finished texting Erin and then looked through my contacts. "Hey, Will. What's your number?" I asked, ready to put it into my phone.

"Eww. Why?" he asked, scrunching up his nose. I rolled my eyes.

"So I could prank call you. Duh!" I said sarcastically. Although that thought did cross my mind.

"Why do you really need it?" Will asked me. I sighed.

"Well, you know. For emergencies and stuff. And maybe to prank call you a bit," I finished as I said the last sentence quickly. Will glared at me as I smiled up at him. He groaned and held out his hand for my phone. I handed him my phone and he put his number in it. When he gave it back to me, I called the number. I heard his ring tone go off from his pocket. He glared at me again. "I'm just making sure it works," I said defensively. "And that it's actually your number," I said to myself. He shook his head and walked into the kitchen.

I laid down on my bed and started to flip through my pictures on my phone. I hadn't looked at these in so long that I almost forgot what was on here. My breath hitched in my throat as I came across an old picture of Jason and I together. I sat up in my bed, rubbing my temple. I heard Will walk out of the kitchen and head over to the couch.

I leaned over and rested my elbows on my knees. It was as if everything I felt from that day came rushing back to me. I covered my eyes with my hand, hoping that the oncoming tears weren't going to come. I failed though as I felt a tear slide off my cheek and saw it land on my leg. I sniffled. I did not want to cry right now, especially when Will was not too far away.

"A-are you okay?" I heard Will. I nodded slowly. "You sure? Are you... crying?" he asked me. I heard his voice come closer towards me.

"I'm fine!" I said loudly, looking down even lower. I heard him step forward. "Don't get any closer to me!" My voice cracked. "Just get out..." I muttered.

"What the fuck? This is my room too, you know," Will said, slight anger in his voice.

"Just get out!" I said loudly, still not looking up. I heard him scoff and then heard his retreating footsteps toward the door.

"What a bi-polar bitch," I heard him mutter.

I waited as I heard the door close before I looked back up. The room was empty and I wiped at my eyes. My makeup was probably running now. I wiped at my eyes again. I quickly deleted the picture from my phone and went to my contacts. I searched for Chris' number that he had given to me a while ago.

"Hello?" I heard Chris' voice over the phone.

"I need someone to talk to. Can you come over?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, sure. Your dorm room?"

"Yeah," I said.

"I'll be right there," Chris said. I nodded to myself.

"Okay. Bye," I said.

"Bye." I hung up the phone and waited.



What the fuck was wrong with her?!

I thought angrily to myself. She seriously was bi-polar. I had just given her my number and then she starts crying. Crying! What the hell was I supposed to do when someone cried?

I paced the hallway after she practically kicked me out of our room. I mean, it was mine too. I could be in there too. I shook my head and leaned against the wall near our door. A few minutes passed before I saw the elevator doors open. I saw Chris making his way towards my direction.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Nicole rang me. She said she needed to talk to someone," he explained.

"What? She rang you?" I asked incredulously. "Why didn't she just talk to me? I'm her roommate."

"Well, yeah. And I highly doubt she would want to talk to you, even if you guys are roommates. You guys are complete arses to each other," Chris said. I nodded slowly in understanding. He had a good point there.

"Right," I said slowly.

"You heading out or something?" he asked.

"She kicked me out," I said simply. He nodded in understanding.

"It must be pretty private then." I shrugged. "So, I guess I'll talk to you later then," Chris said.

"Yeah, later." Just as I turned to walk away, I heard him knock on the door. "Here, I got it," I said as I opened the door with my key card.

"Thanks, mate," he said, entering the room.

I stood right outside the door as Chris walked in. I glanced inside and saw the yankee stand up from her bed. The next thing I saw shocked me. The yankee broke out into fresh new tears and hugged Chris as soon as he was in her range. He returned the hug, stroking her hair to calm her down. She held onto his jacket as she continued to sob. I heard Chris mutter something, but I couldn't hear what exactly. I stared at them for a few more moments before I realized what I was doing and slowly, yet quietly closed the door.

I stared at the white door in front of me for a long while, thinking over what I had just seen. For some reason completely unknown to me, I felt a pang in my chest at the sight of seeing her cry. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and quickly walked to the lift.

I must be going crazy...

I thought to myself, shaking my head.



I stood up from my bed when I heard a knock on the door. Before I even took two steps, the door opened and Chris walked in. At the moment, I didn't even care how he got in. I broke out into more tears. Chris walked towards me and I almost immediately grabbed him and wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt his hand stroke my hair.

"Shh..." I heard him say. "What's wrong? This isn't about Will, is it?" I shook my head. "Okay. Well, when you're ready, you can tell me anything," he whispered into my ear. I nodded.

"I..." I tried to say, pulling away from him. "I got Will's number..." I said, trying to break the tension. Chris laughed.

"Maybe we can prank call him after you calm down and explain to me what happened," he said with another chuckle. I cracked a smile. See? This is why I called Chris. He was already making me feel better.


Two weeks have passed since I cried that day. Ever since I got here in England, I really tried to not think about Jason or cutting. Looking at that one picture though made everything just flow right back. I debated on cutting that night, but I didn't. I knew that I shouldn't waste my time on someone like Jason. It was hard to resist the urge though, I'll tell you that.

When Will got back to the room that night after Chris left, he didn't say a word to me and just went to bed. I was actually glad for that. He didn't ask any questions or anything. On the other hand, I was kind of disappointed too, because he didn't ask if I was okay or anything. I didn't linger on it more though as I fell asleep that night from exhaustion.

Today, we had a special assembly in the auditorium. I had only been here once before. It was about a week after school started and it was sort of a late welcoming assembly with the headmaster hoping that everyone was settling in well. This assembly started with announcements and such about the school. The first five minutes were full of announcements, while the rest of the assembly was filled with information about the different clubs here.

The seats in this huge auditorium were sectioned off in four big areas with walkways separating them. One huge section of seats was in the front, near the stage, while the other three sections were in a row following the first section creating the shape of a T. The seats also happened to follow the shape of the building. So of course, the name of the auditorium was called the T building. Each section represented the four different dorm room buildings on campus; A, B, C and D. Section A were the seats in front of the stage. Section B was on the left side facing the stage, while Section C was in the middle and Section D was on the right side. I was in dorm room building B, along with Will, Annabella, Chris, Sara and James so we were all on the left side of the auditorium. And even in the auditorium seats, there was assigned seats according to your last names. Seriously, what the fuck was up with this damn school and seating charts and alphabetical order? So of course, I had to sit next to Will.

I got the aisle seat with Will to the left of me and the aisle to the right of me. I looked to the row in front of me and a few seats diagonally to the left of me and saw Annabella sitting near the wall. I could tell it was her by the side of her face that I could see. Even if I didn't see her face though, I could still tell it was her. She had that perfect chocolate hair that I could spot from a mile away. I absentmindedly twiddled my own hair with my index finger.

Why can't my hair look like that?

I thought to myself. My hair was totally different from hers. While she had long, rich, thick, beautiful chocolate brown hair, I had median length, thinner dark brown hair.

How can she get that kind of volume with her hair?

I continued to stare at her hair in awe. Then I immediately snapped myself out of it when I realized what I was doing. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

That wasn't creepy. Not. At. All.

I coughed nervously and readjusted myself in my seat as I looked away from Annabella and her perfect hair. I nudged Will in the shoulder. "Hey, when is this thing over?" I asked him, leaning further back into my seat. He glanced at me and rolled his eyes.

"Can't you just be patient?" he asked me. I shrugged.

"Sure. Do I have to be patient now?" Will rolled his eyes at me again with an added sigh.

"Just... Be quiet, okay? It'll be over soon," he said, straightening his posture.

I shrugged again and focused on what the headmaster was saying. I never really caught his name. The headmaster, that is. I should have probably learned his name by now. If Will and I continued to be how we've been ever since I got here, we were both bound to end up in the headmaster's office one time or another. Almost all of those incidents happened privately, but if things got too extreme and we took our fights publicly, then we would for sure land ourselves in the headmaster's office.

I sighed as the headmaster continued to speak. "Now, I'd like to invite Annabella Harrison up to the stage."

I perked up in my seat as Annabella stood up from her seat and made her way down the long walk to the stage. She walked briskly as everyone waited for her. She quickly walked up the short set of stairs on the stage and made her way to the podium. She took the spot the headmaster once took.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Annabella Harrison, if you didn't know," she started off. She flashed the crowd a smile and I swear I heard some guys swoon. Yeah, swoon. "Well, I'm here to let you guys know that the cheerleading squad and I are holding auditions this week and next week. As the cheerleading captain, I feel it is my obligation to let you, the fellow student body, know about these auditions. And gentlemen, this isn't only for the ladies. I encourage the guys to come join too. We need guys as well. I guess that's all I have to say. Thank you for listening," Annabella finished. Everyone clapped after she spoke. She stepped down from the stage and began her walk back to her seat. I nudged Will in the shoulder again.

"Wow. I didn't know she was the cheerleading captain," I started. "You sure are a lucky boy. Let me guess. You're the captain of the football team, right? Oh, oops. I'm sorry. I meant the rugby team, right?" I swear I saw a vein pop on his head.

"Can't you just shut the fuck up for, like, five minutes?" he said through gritted teeth. I grinned to myself.

"I'm sorry. Did I offend you?" I feigned concern and then scoffed. "Whatever," I muttered as I rolled my eyes. I faced forward again just as Annabella sat back in her seat. "Psst!" I called as I leaned over Will to Annabella. He grunted as I dug my elbow into his knee. She turned around at the sound and smiled at me.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I didn't know you were the cheerleading captain. I didn't even know we had a cheerleading squad in the first place," I whispered loud enough for her to hear, but hopefully not loud enough for the teachers to hear. Annabella giggled.

"I've been the captain three years in a row," she said. I smiled at her.

"That's cool. Is there a lot of people on the squad?"

"There's enough, but we'd love to have more members. Are you thinking of trying out?" she asked me hopefully. I waved my hand in front of me in dismissal.

"Oh no. Not me. I'm not the type for that stuff," I said. "I was just wondering."

"Oh. Well, if you ever change your mind, just come and see me," she said with another smile.

"Sure," I replied right as Will got enough of me and shoved me back over to my seat. I stuck my tongue out at him and readjusted myself in my seat.

After that, they were some more announcements from other presidents of other clubs saying practically the same thing. They were all looking for more people for their club. None of the clubs really interested me that much. That is, until the last club president came forward to speak.

"Hi. Um, I'm Marissa Patel and I'm," she paused as she looked at the huge crowd of people nervously. "and I'm the president of the, uh, photography, journalism, and yearbook club. And we're, um, open for new members, so please join. Thank you," she said quickly as she left the podium and sat back at her seat near the front. I could easily tell that she was nervous. The club she was talking about did interest me though so I made a mental note to myself to talk to Marissa later.

I sighed in happiness as the assembly finally ended. I followed the huge crowd back out to the school buildings. I ran into Chris on the way out.

"Hey," Chris said, lazily wrapping his arm over my shoulders. "You gonna join any clubs?" he asked me. I shrugged.

"I might check out the photography, journalism, and yearbook club." I said.

"You write?"

"I take pictures," I said with a smile.

"Ohhh," he said. "Cool."

"How about you? You gonna join any clubs?" I asked.

"The chess club," he said nonchalantly. I stared at him.

"You're seriously gonna join the chess club?" I asked him incredulously.

"Fuck no!" he said with a laugh. "You seriously thought I was gonna that club?! Psh!" Chris said with another laugh.

"Thank goodness. I would have stopped being friends with you if you did join that club," I said with a laugh. I was pretty sure someone from the chess club heard our conversation because a nerdy year ten started glaring at both Chris and I. "Oops... Just keep walking, Chris..." I said, walking quicker and pushing him in front of me.