The First Cut is the Deepest

"Hey, Marissa," I said to her during PE that same day of the assembly. "About the club you were talking about in assembly earlier..." I trailed off. I saw her smile.

"Oh! You're interested in joining?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I love taking pictures. You have an opening for a camera girl?" I asked as we started to do a warm up lap around the field.

"Definitely. Even if we didn't, we'd make an opening," she said with a laugh. I smiled at her.

"Okay, well, where do I sign up?"

"Just stop by the journalism room during lunch. You know where it's at, right?"

"No clue," I said as we finished half of the lap. I was starting to run out of breath. Talking and running was not a good thing to mix. Marissa giggled. She didn't seem a bit fazed as she kept her breathing even.

"Just meet me in front of the cafeteria at lunch and I'll take you there."

"Okay, cool," I said. We finished up the lap and I was out of breath while Marissa's breath was still even. I stared at her in envy. Seriously, how could people do these silly things called sports? Or exercise for that matter? I breathed in deeply to get my breath back. "I'm not cut out for this," I said, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"Cut out for what?" Marissa asked me.

"Exercise," I stated simply. She laughed.

"It's not so bad," she said.

"I'm surprised I haven't passed out yet." She laughed again. "I'm serious," I said before I laughed along with her.

"Okay, class! Everyone, gather around!" the teacher called out. "Since I finally whipped you guys back into better shape, we're actually going to be starting a sport today. We're going to start volleyball. Any questions? Or complaints?" the PE teacher said in her thick accent as she scanned her eyes over everyone. I slowly rose my hand up.

"I don't think I can play," I said nervously.

"And why not, young lady?" she asked. I gulped before I replied.

"I bruise easily. Like, really easily. So I can't play volleyball because the ball is too hard," I said. She squinted at me suspiciously. "I'm not lying, I swear. I have a doctor's note, if you don't believe me." She finally sighed.

"Okay. Just sit out then," she said. I nodded in response. I glanced at Marissa and she had a questioning look on her face. I just shrugged at her.

I sat on the side of the gym, while everyone else played volleyball on the court. What I told the teacher wasn't entirely the truth, but it also wasn't entirely a lie either. I did bruise easily, but the volleyball wasn't that hard. It was the fact that I had cuts on my wrists that made it not possible for me to play volleyball. And I couldn't exactly just go out and tell her that I cut myself and if I hit the ball incorrectly, then my cuts would reopen and that's why I couldn't play volleyball. Do you know what they would do if they found that out? They would definitely send me to therapy. And do you have any idea how much I've done to not let myself end up there?

I sighed as I brought my knees up to my chest. I leaned my chin against the top of my knees and watched everyone play volleyball. Everyone looked so... sporty. They looked all athletic and stuff. I glanced down at myself and frowned. Why couldn’t I be athletic? I sighed again and waited for the class to end.


By lunch time, I was starving. I got my big lunch as always and sat with Chris, Will, Annabella, Sara and James. I got into the habit of sitting with Chris for lunch and Chris always sat with Will and the rest of them, so I just naturally would sit with them too. It was weird the first few times, because Will and I would glare at each other, but come on. What do you expect? After a while though, we all just got used to each other and ate lunch together.

Just as I was about to take a bite out of my food, I remembered I was supposed to meet Marissa by the cafeteria. "Oh shit!" I said suddenly, packing up my lunch and putting it in my bag.

"What?" Chris asked.

"I was supposed to meet Marissa in front of the cafeteria," I explained. Everyone nodded, while Will looked nonchalant about it. "See you guys later," I said before leaving and walking towards the cafeteria doors. When I got there, I saw Marissa waiting for me. "I'm so sorry! I almost forgot!" I said.

"No worries," Marissa said with a smile. "Come on, let's go." I nodded and followed her down a few hallways before we finally stopped at a door. "This is the photography, journalism, and yearbook room. Shortened to the PJY room," she said as she opened the door. I gaped at what I saw. I was pretty sure I just died and went to heaven.

For a high school club, they had some pretty good equipment here. The room was fairly big with about five Mac desktop computers on a long desk, with two more Mac laptops on another desk. They had a professional backdrop, like the ones in modeling for magazines and such. There was a shelf full of books, tapes, CDs and other things. A big office printer was set off to the side, while a small laser printer was next to it. And don't even get me started on the camera equipment.

"This is amazing..." I muttered to myself.

"Here, this is what you'll be using from now on," she said as she handed me a case. I took it from her and opened it.

"Oh shit! Is this the newest Nikon camera?!" I asked, shock on my face. Being the daughter of a videographer had its advantages.

"Yup," Marissa replied with a small laugh.

"Oh my gosh... I am in heaven," I turned it on and took off the body cap. I brought the camera up to eye level and took a picture. I looked at the picture in happiness. "This camera is beastly," I said with a grin.

"Glad you like it," she said. "All the camera necessities are over there." She pointed towards where the backdrop was. "As well as all the accessories for that camera." I nodded and we both walked towards the backdrop.

"So when do I start?" I asked.

"Tryouts for sports and clubs and such are coming up soon. Why don't you take pictures of that for the yearbook?" I nodded.

"Sure. No problem," I said. "Do I just take this camera with me then?"

"It's yours to keep."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"It's yours to keep," she repeated. "Since it's for the use of the school, it's half off from the stores. We'll just add the price of the camera to your school bill. So it's pretty much yours to keep since you joined this club. Of course, you have to use it for this club and such."

"And the accessories?"

"Yours also."

"Oh my gosh! This is fucking amazing!" I said with a laugh. "This is perfect timing too, because my SLR back in California just broke and I haven't had time to repair it or get a new one. I only have my point and shoot camera at the moment. So this is perfect," I babbled. "When do the tryouts start?" I asked before she could say anything about my babbling.

"There should be tryout information in every lobby of each dorm room," Marissa answered. I nodded.

"So do I have to fill any forms out? Like, to join this club?"

"You just need to fill out this form with your basic information and I'll do the rest," she said as she pulled out a form from a drawer and handed it to me. The form asked the basic things; name, class, age, etc. I quickly filled it out and handed it back to her. "Oh, and sign here." I quickly read through the small paragraph before the spot I was supposed to sign. The paragraph simply read that I was responsible for the equipment and such given to me, and that if I ever stole any of the equipment not assigned to me or something, charges would be held against me. I shrugged that off. It did seem a little absurd seeing as this was a high school club, but I couldn't blame them with all this nice equipment. You had to have some sort of security measure with their equipment. I quickly signed at the bottom of the page. "And you're all set."

"Cool," I said. "Can I start now?"

"Sure, go right ahead."

"Thanks! Well then, see you later, Marissa!" I said as I left the room. I heard her say a faint bye before I closed the door.

I walked back to the cafeteria, carrying the camera. I sat back at the table with everyone and started eating. Before I could even finish half of my lunch, the bell rang.

"Nicole, let's get to class," Chris said, pulling his bag on his shoulder.

"But... I'm not done eating..." I said slowly.

"Come on. Before we're late," he urged. I sighed and packed up my lunch.

"Guess I'll finish you later..." I muttered to my lunch. And I swore I saw Will snicker at me as I walked away to my sixth period.


Thinking back on the first day I got here, I remembered those stupid ass rules that Will said that was still taped on the refrigerator door. So far, I was pretty sure we've broken at least one of those rules at least once, if not more. I knew for sure that I've broken rule number six at least five times already. Rule number six being no looking at each other when they are changing or going or coming from the shower. Yeah, I've broken that rule a long time ago. I mean, come on. Have you seen Will's body? For such a douchey personality, he had a nice body.

Both Will and I have even broken rule number five, being no talking to each other unless it was necessary. We've actually said good morning to each other a few times. Yeah, I know, weird. We could actually keep up a conversation with only mild insults to each other. We were improving.

Anyways, I checked the lobby yesterday for the tryout schedule and found out there were only a few tryouts tomorrow, which was now today. Today was Friday so we had a half-day of school and then the tryouts. I was going to start working right after school.

After school had ended, I make a quick stop to my room to drop off my school bag and grab my camera. I put my cell phone, wallet, key and etc., in a small purse to carry them around with me. I put the camera around my neck with its strap. Just as I was leaving the room, Will was coming in.

"Where you headed?" he asked me.

"I'm taking pictures of the tryouts today for the photography, journalism and yearbook club," I replied.

"Oh. Just call it the PJY club," Will said as he plopped down onto the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table in front of him.

"That is a lot easier to say," I said with a small laugh. "So what are you doing today?" I asked him.

"I have tryouts later," he said simply as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"Ooh," I started. "What are you trying out for?"

"You'll see," he said, ending the conversation. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Anyways, I got to go. Don't wait up for me," I said with a cheeky grin, because I knew he wouldn't. I heard Will scoff before I closed the door behind me.

See? Rule number five was just broken again. We didn't even need to have that conversation, but we did anyways. I told you we were improving.

I made my way down the lobby and took a picture of the tryout schedule with my phone. Although, after I took the picture, I realized that I had my camera around my neck. I laughed to myself, but didn't bother to take the picture again, because I couldn't be bothered and I wanted to start on the tryout pictures as soon as possible.

I left the lobby of my dorm building and made my way to the first tryouts. The first one was the cheerleading squad. I was actually looking forward to what Annabella had in store for the people trying out. When I got to the gym where the tryouts were being held, I was met with a bunch of gymnastic mats laid out around the gym floor and a bunch of people waiting on the bleachers for their turn to tryout.

I took off the lens of my camera and started to take pictures of the people waiting. I paused for a moment though when I heard Annabella start to speak.

"Okay, everyone! Listen up! We're going to start the tryouts now!" Annabella said as she and two other girls sat behind a plastic table on plastic folding chairs. "We aren't expecting too much from you guys, but it would be nice if you could somehow do this," she said as the girl to the left of her stood up and did a few cartwheels. "And this," Annabella continued as the other girl to her right got up and did the splits. "If you girls can't do this, I suggest you leave, unless you have something else up your sleeve that can impress us," she said as the two girls sat back next to her. I wasn't sure if she meant for it to sound mean, but it sure came out like it.

Harsh.

I thought to myself. I saw a few girls get up, pack up their stuff and leave. I noticed the few guys that were trying out didn't seem intimidated by this.

"Okay then. You all should know that we're reaching for nationals," Annabella continued. I nodded my head to myself in understanding.

No wonder she's like that. She wants the best to win nationals.

I thought as I sat down on a bleacher to the far end, near the exit.

"For the people who stayed, I hope if you make the team, you can start to learn and master these moves."

I watched as a guy wearing the men's cheerleading uniform got up from the bleachers and did a few more cartwheels. I stared in amazement as I watched him do a no handed cartwheel and other crazy moves that I would never in my life attempt, because I would die if I tried.

"Wow..." I muttered to myself as I took pictures of the guy in motion. I saw about a third of everyone get up and leave before the actual tryouts started.

After about forty-five minutes, I stood up to leave, satisfied with the many pictures I took. I left the gym and headed out to the field. There were also rugby tryouts today. I had never actually seen rugby being played in real life and let me tell, it looked like a harsh, vicious game. It did look fun though, in a painful kind of way.

I watched for about fifteen minutes, taking as much pictures as I could. I zoomed in from the bleachers and someone out on the field caught my eye.

"Well, would you look at that? Will's out on the field," I muttered to myself.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" I heard someone say from below the bleachers. I looked down and I saw Chris.

"Oh, hey!" I said. "I was just saying to myself that Will is out on the field. Is he on the team?" I asked.

"He's the captain of the rugby team," Chris said as he ascended the bleachers and sat next to me. My eyes widened in shock for a second or two before they returned to normal.

"I knew it!" I muttered to myself. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I'm co-captain," he said as he picked at the front of his shirt. Only then did I notice that he was wearing a burgundy and black vertically striped jersey with black shorts.

"Whoa! No way!" I said. "That's awesome!" I said as I patted him on the back. Chris chuckled.

"Taking pictures for PJY?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yup," I said. "Haven't tryouts started already? Shouldn't you be out there?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said with a chuckle as he stood up. He descended the bleachers and picked up his sports bag that was at the bottom. "Take lots of pictures of me, okay?" he said with a wink and I laughed.

"Sure, buddy," I said sarcastically. I watched as Chris jogged slightly out to the field, dropping his bag off at the players' bench on the way there.

I actually stayed for the whole tryouts for rugby. It was actually interesting to watch. Also, there were only two tryouts today anyways, so I had a bunch of time to watch. And it didn't hurt that they were all attractive guys who not only were British and athletic, but they were also willing to take their shirts off. And hot damn, they were fun to watch. I didn't mind taking a bunch of pictures of them.

After the tryouts were over, I made my way back to my dorm room. I was placing the lens cap back on my camera as I left the elevator to my floor. When I looked back up, I stopped in my tracks.

That couldn't be him. It just couldn't be.

I thought as I took tentative steps closer. Down the hall, standing in front of my room, facing the opposite direction of me was a teenage boy. I knew that body right off the bat, but I didn't want to admit it.

That really couldn't be him. That couldn't be Jason.