The First Cut is the Deepest

On my way to my first period, I stopped by the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. Whenever I was angry, I would ruffle my hair and rub my hands over my face in frustration. I hoped my makeup didn't smear.

I was greeted to hearing crying in the handicapped stall near the far end. I cautiously walked towards the stall. I glanced under it and saw a girl sitting in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest while her hands were wrapped around her ankles. I tentatively knocked on the stall door.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked quietly. I heard a sniffle before the girl replied.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine," the girl said. I scrunched up my eyebrows in thought. That voice sounded familiar.

"Are you sure? If you want to talk, I'm open to listening," I pressed. I heard another sniffle before I heard the door unlock. I slowly pushed open the stall and saw just in time to see Hayley slide back down the wall. I looked at her in sadness. "Oh, Hayley..." I bent down and walked towards her with my arms wide open. "Are you okay?" I asked before she broke out into fresh new tears. She leaned into my hug and inhaled sharply as I sat next to her on the floor. "What happened?" I asked.

"W-well..." she started before she hiccupped.

"Shh. It's okay. I can wait. Take your time." I rubbed her back soothingly as she continued to cry.

After a few more minutes, she stopped crying and pulled away from me as she wiped at her eyes. "I probably made you late to class," she said as she readjusted herself.

"Nah, it's okay. It's only English. It's not like I'm missing anything," I said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood. I at least saw a little smile come out from her.

"I'm sorry though that you had to stay here with me. You didn't have to stay."

"Seriously, it's fine. I can't just sit in class while a friend of mine sits on the bathroom floor, crying her eyes out," I said, putting a reassuring arm over her shoulders. She sniffled before she spoke up.

"Friend? But we've only talked a few times..." she trailed off.

"And? I consider you my friend now," I said with a smile. She smiled back at me weakly. "So... Are you ready to talk about what happened?" I asked carefully. She sighed before she answered.

"Well," she started. "it involves Chris," Hayley said quietly.

"What'd he do? I'll kick his ass if he did anything wrong," I said threateningly.

"H-he... He rejected me..." she said.

"He what?"

"He rejected me. He told me that he couldn't possibly reciprocate the feelings I have for him, because he already had his eye on someone else."

"I won't just kick his ass. I'll kill him," I said darkly.

"Please don't tell him I told you this. I don't want to feel like a tattletale."

"We're girls. He should know that we talk about them all the time. This was bound to come up."

"I guess you're right, but still..."

"Yeah, I understand. But I can't believe Chris! What an asshole! You don't just flatly say that to a girl! You let them down easy."

"Well, I could tell he was trying his hardest not to hurt me..."

"Don't defend him, Hayley, just because you like him. He's an asshole. You have every right to be pissed at him. You got rejected for goodness sakes!" I glanced at her quickly and I looked just in time for her to hide a flinch. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so... harsh about it..." I said quietly. She shook her head.

"It's okay. He did reject me..." she trailed off.

"If it makes you feel any better, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me for the whole two months we were together," I said. It was quiet for a few seconds before Hayley replied.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but... how was that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked quietly. I took my arm off her shoulders and let them hang off from my knees. I swallowed before speaking and leaned my head back against the wall. I sighed.

"He's back."

"Back? What do you mean he's back?"

"He's back in my life."

"Meaning what? He's here in England?" she asked incredulously. I nodded as I looked towards her.

"Yup. He's back to make me suffer. So you're not the only one. We can suffer together," I said as I wound my arm back over her shoulders.

"Yay?" she questioned. I laughed.

"Yeah, yay. You could say that," I said as she laughed.

We just sat there for who knows how long in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was more of a comfortable silence. I just thought over what she told me and her situation and I thought about my situation. I had no idea what Hayley was going to do with Chris and I had no idea what I was going to do with Jason. We were both in a predicament of not knowing what to do.

"You think we should go now?" Hayley asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and replied.

"Yeah, I think so."

We both stood up from the floor and dusted ourselves off. There could have been so many disgusting things on this bathroom floor and I didn't even want to think about it. I just wanted to think that the floors were cleaned every hour even though I knew deep down they weren't. We left the stall and made our way to the bathroom door.

I put my hand on the door and looked at her. She nodded. I pushed the bathroom door open. We walked into the hallways just in time for the bell to ring. "Class is over," Hayley stated.

"Yeah, I guess." I pursed my lips before speaking again. "Well, see you around. Oh, and good luck with everything," I said with a smile as I hugged her. She hugged me back.

"Yeah, you too," she said. I pulled away from her and she grabbed my sleeve before I turned away. "Oh, um, and thanks, Nicole. I really appreciate you staying with me to comfort me."

"No problem," I replied. "What are friends for?" I smiled at her before I turned away and made my way to my locker down the hallway. I opened my locker and grabbed my book for second period. I closed my locker and made my way to my next class. I entered the room and sat in my seat next to Will.

"And where were you first period?" Will asked me as I sat down in my seat.

"That's none of your business," I snapped at him.

"Is there a stick up your arse or something? What's your problem?" Will asked. I gritted my teeth and flicked him off while I opened my math book. "And to think, I was going to tell you something big that happened in first period." I looked at him, a bored expression on my face.

"Oh, tell me, William. What happened in first period?" I asked sarcastically as a big smile came on my face. I let my fake smile drop as soon as the last word left my mouth. I saw Will's eyes dart to the door.

"Well, would you look at that? What I was going to tell you just walked through the door and into the room." I scowled at him before I turned around and looked at what he was looking at. My mouth dropped open in shock.

"You got to be fucking kidding me..." I muttered to myself.

"Nope. No joke here. It looks like he's here to stay," Will muttered into my ear. I swatted him away as the bell rang.

"Class, we have a new student here. Would you like to introduce yourself?" the teacher said.

"Hey, everyone. My name is Jason Smith and I'm from California. I'm pleased to meet everyone and I hope I can make lots of friends here," Jason said as he smiled wide for everyone. I caught his eye and he winked at me. I scowled at him in annoyance. I discreetly flicked him off when the teacher wasn't looking.

"Okay, you can sit behind Nicole," the teacher said. My eyes widened in shock. I was speechless as Jason walked towards me and sat behind me. I felt my whole body stiffen as he sat down in his seat and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Hey, babe. Miss me?" he whispered. I turned around in anger.

"Jason, fuck off," I angrily whispered as low as I could. "You will not speak to me, nor will you ever touch me. If you do, I will hit you again in the balls with no hesitation whatsoever. If you even mention to anyone here that you know me, I will hit you in the balls. If you even look at me as if I'm a piece of meat, I will hit you in the balls. I want no contact with you at all. As far as we're both concerned, you're just a new classmate who's also from California," I finished before I turned around and turned to a page in my book.

"Harsh," both Will and Jason said. I gritted my teeth.

"And you, Will," I said as I turned to him. "Don't talk to him either," I ordered. He scoffed.

"You can't tell me who not to talk to," he said.

"Fine," I said as I turned away from him. "Don't say I didn't warn you." I heard another scoff from him as the teacher continued with class.


When lunch came around that same day, Chris walked up behind me while I waited in line at the cafeteria.

"Are you ignoring me?" he asked forwardly.

"Uh..." I started as I reached for a bread roll and placed it on my tray. To be honest, I was kind of ticked off by the way he treated Hayley. From the way Hayley broke down and told me, it sounded like he didn't even try to let her down easy. It sounded like he was so straight-forward and douchey. It sounded like he was a heartless prick. "No..." I replied slowly instead.

"Then why does it seem like you are ignoring me?" he asked as he continued to walk behind me in the line.

"It's just..." I said before quickly glancing at the cafeteria tables. I almost instantly made eye contact with Hayley. I looked away from her and continued walking and placing food on my plate. "I've been stressed," I said. I wasn't entirely lying to him.

"Are you sure that's it?" he asked. I nodded as I made it to the front of the line and paid for my food.

"I'm sure," I said to him as we walked to a table and sat down. I glanced at him quickly and noticed he had no food. "Aren't you gonna eat?" I asked him as I bit into my food.

"Not hungry," he said. "So we're okay then?"

"Yes, we are," I assured him. I couldn't stay mad at Chris for long. I mean, just look at him. With those damn puppy dog eyes! I couldn't resist hating him with those eyes of his!

"So what are you stressed about?" he asked as he leaned on his forearms towards me. I grunted before putting my fork down.

"You don't wanna know."

"Yeah, I do. Come on, tell me," he begged.

"Ugh. Fine." I glanced around the room quickly. I was silently thanking Will and Annabella that they decided to go off making out somewhere and that James and Sara decided to eat somewhere else alone. When I thought about it though, I rarely saw James or Sara anymore. They were always off alone. Ever since they got together, they've been MIA. Anyways, the last thing I wanted was for them to know about my past just yet, let alone Will. "You know that new kid, Jason?" I asked Chris and he nodded.

"Yeah. What about him?" he asked. I sighed.

"He's my ex-boyfriend," I said.

"Whoa! I was not expecting that! Why is he here?"

And so, I told Chris everything. I told him that when I was back in California before I moved out here, I dated Jason for two months. And I told him that for the whole two months that we were together, Jason was cheating on me with his bitch of an ex-girlfriend, Tracy. So we ended badly and two weeks later, I moved out here to England. I told him that I was so stressed recently because he was back and I hated his guts. And Tracy was here as well, but I hadn't seen her yet. Okay, so maybe I didn't tell him everything like the fact that I cut myself over that pathetic fool. He didn't need to know that though at the moment.

"And there you have it," I finished.

"Wow. I would have never thought. Are you okay with all of this?" he asked me.

"Of course I'm not okay with this! I'm pissed!" I said as I took a bite of my food. "I'm pissed that I can't kick his ass myself!" Chris laughed.

"Don't worry. I got you covered for that one. Just say the word and I'll beat his arse so hard his mum will feel it." I laughed this time.

"Thanks, Chris."

"No problem. Anything for a friend. Oh, and for a chance to kick some prick's arse." We both laughed. I instantly stopped though when I saw Jason enter the cafeteria.

"Speak of the devil..." I muttered to Chris. He looked behind him and then looked back at me.

"Do you want me to kick his arse now or later?"

"Wait until he provokes you. I don't want you to get in trouble for nothing," I said as I took another bite from my food.

"If you say so..." he said. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

"Uh, homework. Other than that, nothing. Why?"

"Let's all go out tonight."

"All?"

"Yeah. You, Will, Annabella, Sara, James and I."

"Where?" I asked, eating a piece of my bread roll.

"I don't know. Maybe we could do a pub crawl," he suggested.

"A pub what?" I asked.

"Oh right. You don't know what that is. I never really had to explain this anyone. Well, it's like we just go from pub to pub and we drink at each one."

"Oh! You mean like bar hopping?"

"Yes! Exactly like that!" he exclaimed. I nodded in understanding. "So you up for it?"

"Dude, it's Monday," I pointed out.

"So? It's a good way to start the school week. And it could help relieve your stress."

"Good point." I rubbed my chin in thought. "Sure. Let's do it."

"Okay. I'll tell everyone else."

"Tell everyone else what?" I rolled my eyes as Jason appeared behind Chris.

"That's none of your business. And what the fuck did I tell you?!" I angrily said to Jason. Before he could even reply, I picked up my full bottle of water and threw it at Jason's crouch. He doubled over in pain. "I wasn't joking when I said I'd hit you." I picked up my food tray and my bag. "Come on. Let's go, Chris." Chris snapped out of his shock and stood up with me. I could see amusement on his face though.

"Well, that's a shame..." Chris muttered to Jason as he patted him on the back as we walked away. "Did that relieve some of your stress?"

"Not even a fraction," I said as I finished off my food, threw away my trash, and put the tray away.

"Okay then," Chris said, looking at his watch. "We still have time before lunch ends. You wanna go tell everyone about tonight?"

"Sure," I said. "Do you have any idea where they would be?"

"I have a place in mind. And I'm sure you know where too."

"I do?"

"You do. Where's the first place that you'd think of when you hear that Will and Annabella want to have alone time?"

"Ohh... Right. And James and Sara?"

"I'll just text them," he said with a shrug.

"But should we disturb Will and Annabella? We'd ruin their fun!" I said sarcastically.

"Oh, but what a shame!" he played along. I laughed as we raced to the dorm building.

We got to the dorm building and quickly got into the elevator.

"Hey, how much money do you have on you right now?" I asked him before the elevator doors opened and brought us to our floor.

"Uh, ten quid, I think. Why?"

"I bet you ten quid that Will has his shirt off before Annabella does when we get there." Chris rubbed his chin in thought.

"You're on," he said as we shook on it.

We reached my room and I had my key card already in my hand, ready to fling open the door at any moment. "You better get ready with your money, Chris, because I'm gonna be taking it!"

"Just open the door," he said with an eyeroll. I slid my key card in and flung the door open. And would you look at that? Will had his shirt off before Annabella. I held out my hand to Chris, without even looking at him.

"Pay up."

"Damn it..." Chris muttered as he handed me his money.

"Bloody hell! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Will yelled at us as he stood up.

"Last time I checked, this was my room too. And are you guys on my bed?! That's disgusting! They were going to do it on my bed!" I exclaimed in horror, looking at Chris. He just shrugged at me.

"Oh well," he said. I glared at him and then brought my glare to Will. I was greeted to him glaring right back at me.

"What the fuck do you guys want?!" he asked as he grabbed his under shirt to put back on. And damn, his abs were amazing to look at. I coughed nervously and looked away, hoping no one caught me staring at me. Lucky for me, Annabella was fixing her hair, Chris was putting his wallet away and Will was busy putting back on his uniform shirt. "Well?" Will snapped.

"Uh..." I started, nudging Chris in the side. "Chris wanted to tell you something," I said as I put the money into my bag.

"Right!" he said as he straightened his posture. "You guys wanna do a pub crawl tonight?"

"You interrupted us to ask us that?!" Will seethed.

"Calm the fuck down," I said as I held my hands out defensively.

Will glared at me again. "I have plans with Ann tonight anyways, so no."

"Come on, don't you guys want to have some fun tonight? I mean, this is my first pub crawl!" I looked towards Annabella for support. She looked at me in understanding and then looked up at Will.

"It's only one night..." she trailed off. I saw Will take a deep breath before speaking.

"Ugh. Fine!" Will said through gritted teeth. "We leave at six tonight. You're driving the yankee and I'm taking everyone else, alright?" Will ordered Chris.

"No problem," he said with a smile.

"Yankee?" I whispered to Chris. I never questioned when he called me that before, but now I was curious.

"Yeah, he means you."

"Because?" I questioned.

"Because you're American."

"Right. I knew that," I said with a nod.

"Now if you would excuse us and let us continue," Will said as he shooed us off with his hands.

"Not on my bed!" I exclaimed. Right after I said that, the bell rang for the afternoon classes to start. "Oh, would you look at that? We have to go to class! Don't want to be late, right?" I linked my arm with Chris' and dragged him off. Just as we made it to the elevator, I glanced behind us and saw Will and Annabella leaving the room.

Ha! Now, they can't have sex on my bed!

I shuttered at just the thought of them doing that on my bed.

"Eww...." I muttered to myself.

"What?" Chris asked.

"Nothing!" I said with a cheeky smile.