Sequel: I'll Never Look Back. ›
Ouch. I Think I Love You.
I'll Be Just Fine, Pretending I Am.
When I get in, Mum sees me crying and panics, I mean, I am in hysterics here, I can't hardly talk at the moment. Finally, I manage to choke out:
"He.... broke...... up........ with....... me........ Mummy."
With each word, another round of tears stain my face.
She pulls me into ahug and lets me cry make-up all over her tee-shirt.
I think she's gone pale, but I can't really see her face properly, it's too blurred. I can't think very clearly, I just keep going over the last few days, and in hindsight, I knew EXACTLY what he was doing these last few days, because I've done it to someone before, too. I think I knew after two days, but I didn't want to consider it. This is the worst option to consider.
I don't honestly think he'll stick to his 'friends' promise, no-one ever does.
God, I feel like shit.
Why did he have to do it now? I was just starting to relax, and think that maybe things would last for a while, and I was beginning to realise that, crazily, he did love me. I'm such an IDIOT, I should have stayed and talked it through, gotten my point in, but now, things are going to be just like before.
I feel like shit.
*****
I've calmed down a bit now. I called my friend and he was really sweet, and Ellen texted me asking if I'm ok, and if she can kick him in the bollocks tomorrow!
I'm hurting so much, I can't come to terms with it yet, every time I think it, it's like someone is delivering a nice, hard punch to my stomach, it flips over, and then I start crying again.
I started listening to Last Train Home, for some stupid reason, Mum came in and asked if that was really the right choice!
*********
School's been horrible recently, things are really awkward between me and HIM, and Will keeps taking the piss. I hate it so much. Some days I wonder if it's really worth it, why bother trying to be friends with him? He'll only hurt me again. Besides, he looks at me as if I've brought some nasty smell into the room with me. Aw, I feel like shit.
I am trying to be sensible, though, not talking to him unless I have to, because if I don't have my dignity, then what do I have?
Yeah, I'll be just fine, pretending I am.
"He.... broke...... up........ with....... me........ Mummy."
With each word, another round of tears stain my face.
She pulls me into ahug and lets me cry make-up all over her tee-shirt.
I think she's gone pale, but I can't really see her face properly, it's too blurred. I can't think very clearly, I just keep going over the last few days, and in hindsight, I knew EXACTLY what he was doing these last few days, because I've done it to someone before, too. I think I knew after two days, but I didn't want to consider it. This is the worst option to consider.
I don't honestly think he'll stick to his 'friends' promise, no-one ever does.
God, I feel like shit.
Why did he have to do it now? I was just starting to relax, and think that maybe things would last for a while, and I was beginning to realise that, crazily, he did love me. I'm such an IDIOT, I should have stayed and talked it through, gotten my point in, but now, things are going to be just like before.
I feel like shit.
*****
I've calmed down a bit now. I called my friend and he was really sweet, and Ellen texted me asking if I'm ok, and if she can kick him in the bollocks tomorrow!
I'm hurting so much, I can't come to terms with it yet, every time I think it, it's like someone is delivering a nice, hard punch to my stomach, it flips over, and then I start crying again.
I started listening to Last Train Home, for some stupid reason, Mum came in and asked if that was really the right choice!
*********
School's been horrible recently, things are really awkward between me and HIM, and Will keeps taking the piss. I hate it so much. Some days I wonder if it's really worth it, why bother trying to be friends with him? He'll only hurt me again. Besides, he looks at me as if I've brought some nasty smell into the room with me. Aw, I feel like shit.
I am trying to be sensible, though, not talking to him unless I have to, because if I don't have my dignity, then what do I have?
Yeah, I'll be just fine, pretending I am.