Sequel: I'll Never Look Back. ›
Ouch. I Think I Love You.
YOU Left ME.
"Hello? Anybody home?" No answer, that bodes well. For privacy, at least. I catch his eye and I know that the two of us are having the same painful flashback to when he was last here, we were alone then, as well.
"Go up to my room, I'll be up in a second." As he runs up the stairs, I try to mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to do. Man, I make it sound like murder!
I quickly down a glass of water in a vain attempt to calm my nerves, and walk up the stairs slowly, partly so I don't trip on my trousers!
"I like how you've done your room."
"Whatever." Oh, ice queen!
I pick up my diary and throw it at him, marking the place for him to read from. While he reads, I settle down on the floor and make a start on my R.E. coursework. I can't think straight, there's no point in doing this, really. I catch his eye and explain icily that I'm fine on the floor, thank you very much, it's easier to write down here.
"Caitlin-" (Please don't, please don't, please don't.) How ironic, starting in exactly the same way. Nice.
"Don't start like that, please." Oh great, the twat looks puzzled.
"That's exactly how you started when you stomped on my heart, so please don't start an apology like that. thank you."
Now he looks a bit sorry.
"Look, I feel really shit about how I've treated you over the last few months, and I really want to be friends with you, at least. I was a jerk, I treated you like crap, and you didn't deserve it at all, you took it very graciously, and you accepted it, at least you did in front of me. You tried to be friends with me, and I threw it back in your face. I'm so sorry Caitlin." As he says all this, he slowly moves towards me clasping my hand in his.
It still feels electric.
I pull my hand back quickly, as though I've been burned. I'm not sure I can do this.
"You're too damn good, Alex. I can't believe, though, that you thought I took it graciously. I have to agree, you were most certainly a jerk. What the hell happened to, we can still be friends. Where did the Alex go that I knew? The one who, even as he was breaking my heart, pulled me into a hug and told me it would be ok. The one who was funny, and kind, and one of the nicest people I've ever met. Where did he go? Where's the Alex I fell for?
"I've missed you so much, I tried to leave you to get over it, even though YOU left ME. I spoke to you a handful of times, and you were rude, and stand-offish. I cried myself to sleep SO much because of you. Hell, I even cried when I found my Christmas card from you because it made me so sad to think of us being friends. Why did you do it?" I realise I'm shaking so I sit on my bed, as far from him as possible.
This is so hard.
"Go up to my room, I'll be up in a second." As he runs up the stairs, I try to mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to do. Man, I make it sound like murder!
I quickly down a glass of water in a vain attempt to calm my nerves, and walk up the stairs slowly, partly so I don't trip on my trousers!
"I like how you've done your room."
"Whatever." Oh, ice queen!
I pick up my diary and throw it at him, marking the place for him to read from. While he reads, I settle down on the floor and make a start on my R.E. coursework. I can't think straight, there's no point in doing this, really. I catch his eye and explain icily that I'm fine on the floor, thank you very much, it's easier to write down here.
"Caitlin-" (Please don't, please don't, please don't.) How ironic, starting in exactly the same way. Nice.
"Don't start like that, please." Oh great, the twat looks puzzled.
"That's exactly how you started when you stomped on my heart, so please don't start an apology like that. thank you."
Now he looks a bit sorry.
"Look, I feel really shit about how I've treated you over the last few months, and I really want to be friends with you, at least. I was a jerk, I treated you like crap, and you didn't deserve it at all, you took it very graciously, and you accepted it, at least you did in front of me. You tried to be friends with me, and I threw it back in your face. I'm so sorry Caitlin." As he says all this, he slowly moves towards me clasping my hand in his.
It still feels electric.
I pull my hand back quickly, as though I've been burned. I'm not sure I can do this.
"You're too damn good, Alex. I can't believe, though, that you thought I took it graciously. I have to agree, you were most certainly a jerk. What the hell happened to, we can still be friends. Where did the Alex go that I knew? The one who, even as he was breaking my heart, pulled me into a hug and told me it would be ok. The one who was funny, and kind, and one of the nicest people I've ever met. Where did he go? Where's the Alex I fell for?
"I've missed you so much, I tried to leave you to get over it, even though YOU left ME. I spoke to you a handful of times, and you were rude, and stand-offish. I cried myself to sleep SO much because of you. Hell, I even cried when I found my Christmas card from you because it made me so sad to think of us being friends. Why did you do it?" I realise I'm shaking so I sit on my bed, as far from him as possible.
This is so hard.