Sequel: I'll Never Look Back. ›
Ouch. I Think I Love You.
Yet Another New Year's Eve...
Well, it's that time of the year again, everyone's getting ready to stumble drunkenly into 2009, and what am I doing?
I'm watching videos on youtube with my hair in curlers, waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. Tonight should be, ehem, interesting because there will be about twelve teenagers in my attic, drinking and getting a little more than frisky! Alex says he's going to try and get his sister to get the others some hash cakes, so that they won't notice us slip out. I don't know why, but I have the feeling this year is going to be different. This year has been pretty shit, so I figured that I've gotta catch a break sometime, right? I hope that starts tonight.
I've been feeling really weird all week, I saw Alex the day after Boxing day, and we did the usual; since then, though, I've been feeling nauseous in the mornings, and really tired. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. I'd better not be you-know-what. Mum will kill me. Oh, god, what am I going to do if I am? Where's my phone?
"Come on, come on, answer the phone- Alex? How are you?....... Good......... Um, I'm not sure. Will you be able to come over early?........ Like, now. Please?......... Thank you, I love you baby........ Yeah, see you in a bit."
I hang up and pace around the room a bit, sit down, run to the loo and puke, then start pacing again.
* * *
After what seems like an hour, Alex arrives at my front door, looking like he just fell down from Heaven. He looks really worried.
"Hey, beautiful, are you okay? You sounded really distant on the phone. What's wrong?"
I grab his hand, and pull him inside. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him violentley, just trying to make sure that this is still real. His hands wind down my back, breathing me in, and holding me close, but not close enough. I groan in pleasure and let him go.
"Are you alright? Caitlin?"
I sigh, taking his hand, leading him to the sofa, and making him sit down. He looks up at me, eyes full of worry. He thinks I'm about to end it.
"Don't worry, it isn't what you think."
"What is it then?"
I look straight into his face, and feel the guilt spilling over. I bite the corner of my lip, chewing it, and trying to think about how I'm going to say this. I'm getting a massive lump in my throat and I'm trying really hard to speak.
Suddenly, I burst into tears. He wraps himself around me, as if that will help.
"Caitlin! Tell me what the hell is wrong. Please."
I take a few deep breaths as I shrug him off. Again, I meet his confused eyes with tears in my guilty ones.
"I think I'm pregnant, Alex."
He falls off the sofa. As he regains himself, he takes my hand, shaking his head, whether in disbelief, or regret, or something else, I don't know.
Shit.
"Have you done a test?"
I shake my head.
"Well, let's go to the chemist then."
I nod my head.
* * *
I sit in the bathroom, hands shaking as I fumble with the box. Alex is waiting outside; I told him to.
I'm watching videos on youtube with my hair in curlers, waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. Tonight should be, ehem, interesting because there will be about twelve teenagers in my attic, drinking and getting a little more than frisky! Alex says he's going to try and get his sister to get the others some hash cakes, so that they won't notice us slip out. I don't know why, but I have the feeling this year is going to be different. This year has been pretty shit, so I figured that I've gotta catch a break sometime, right? I hope that starts tonight.
I've been feeling really weird all week, I saw Alex the day after Boxing day, and we did the usual; since then, though, I've been feeling nauseous in the mornings, and really tired. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. I'd better not be you-know-what. Mum will kill me. Oh, god, what am I going to do if I am? Where's my phone?
"Come on, come on, answer the phone- Alex? How are you?....... Good......... Um, I'm not sure. Will you be able to come over early?........ Like, now. Please?......... Thank you, I love you baby........ Yeah, see you in a bit."
I hang up and pace around the room a bit, sit down, run to the loo and puke, then start pacing again.
* * *
After what seems like an hour, Alex arrives at my front door, looking like he just fell down from Heaven. He looks really worried.
"Hey, beautiful, are you okay? You sounded really distant on the phone. What's wrong?"
I grab his hand, and pull him inside. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him violentley, just trying to make sure that this is still real. His hands wind down my back, breathing me in, and holding me close, but not close enough. I groan in pleasure and let him go.
"Are you alright? Caitlin?"
I sigh, taking his hand, leading him to the sofa, and making him sit down. He looks up at me, eyes full of worry. He thinks I'm about to end it.
"Don't worry, it isn't what you think."
"What is it then?"
I look straight into his face, and feel the guilt spilling over. I bite the corner of my lip, chewing it, and trying to think about how I'm going to say this. I'm getting a massive lump in my throat and I'm trying really hard to speak.
Suddenly, I burst into tears. He wraps himself around me, as if that will help.
"Caitlin! Tell me what the hell is wrong. Please."
I take a few deep breaths as I shrug him off. Again, I meet his confused eyes with tears in my guilty ones.
"I think I'm pregnant, Alex."
He falls off the sofa. As he regains himself, he takes my hand, shaking his head, whether in disbelief, or regret, or something else, I don't know.
Shit.
"Have you done a test?"
I shake my head.
"Well, let's go to the chemist then."
I nod my head.
* * *
I sit in the bathroom, hands shaking as I fumble with the box. Alex is waiting outside; I told him to.