You and Me, Forever Young

I had always been on the receiving end of ambulances and hospitals.

There was only one other time I had ridden in the back of one, once when my cousin Shea and I were riding bikes in our neighborhood and the front end of her bike caught in a crack in the street.

I still remember watching her crash forward onto the pavement and all the blood on her face as we drove away with the sirens wailing.

It was so much scarier when you couldn't see the injuries.

With the blood everywhere you had somewhere to focus your attention, your hopes and prayers, specifically somewhere to avoid if it was the person you loved.

I had no reason to tear myself away from Will's face, no reason not to pray that he'd open his eyes and let me know he was okay.

The impact of hitting his head on the pavement was a step up from being hit by the car, but only barely.

Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity on the way to the hospital.

It was excruciating as they wheeled Will's unconscious body away to the ER, leaving me behind the line of patient and lost soul.

Had it always been this terrible for William when I was in the hospital and he didn’t know what was going on?

Had his mind gone through every worse case scenario in the book, sending not only his emotional state crashing into the Earth?

It was as if I'd never learned to talk, never learned to write when the nurses surrounded me.

I knew I needed to for them to treat Will but I was too far gone to help anyone, almost like I was looking down at the situation.

It didn’t even faze me as to why Brendon and Madi walked in with Zackie, but they soon realized I was in no state to do anything.

Leaving them to handle the medical papers, I was allowed even more room to lapse into my mind.

So when they said we could go see him I didn’t move, not till the words stabilized were said.

That was where I found myself three hours after I had sat in the street cradling his head, now in the hospital holding his hand for dear life.

An hour and a half later he opened his eyes.

I didn’t notice at first as my head had fallen on the bed, the clock hovering somewhere near midnight.

When I felt his warm hand squeeze mine it was like a jolt went through my body.

"Lilly?" He asked in a broken voice.

My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it'd explode out of my chest and I couldn’t keep myself from throwing my arms around him.

"Oh thank god, they weren’t sure if you'd be okay, oh god Will, tell me how old you are, what's Zackie's name, how many fingers am I holding up, what year was the Declaration of Independence signed, please tell me you... you remember me... fuck answer me!" I exclaimed, my jumble of a rant catching him off guard.

With a soft smile he brushed the hair away from my face and answered me in a calm voice only he could pull off.

"I'm twenty-four, Zackie's name is Zackie, you aren't holding up any fingers, the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776, and how could I not remember you?"

The warmth in his eyes and the smile on his face faded as I realized the dim oblivious state of mind he was in was giving way to the memory of the past two days.

"Lilly... about what happened..."

"It was just a stupid misunderstand." I finished, unable to let him continue. "Nothing happened."

Will nodded slowly like he was letting my words melt into his mind.

"I kind of knew deep down it wasn’t true, but in case you haven’t noticed I'm a little insecure." He explained softly, looking over at me. "It's still a little hard for me to believe you would want to spend the rest of your life with me."

I chuckled a little, which I noticed he didn’t appreciate.

"Sorry, it's just the irony. You don't think I want to spend the rest of my life with you and here we are after I jumped in front of a moving car to save your life."

Will's eyebrows knitted together in confusion, a sight that was weird to see with the large bruising bump on his forehead.

"Wait, what?" I thought I got hit by the car..."

I smiled and gently brushed the hair away from his forehead.

"If you had gotten hit by a car you'd have more than just a bad concussion and a couple bruised ribs, sorry about that by the way. I kind of pushed you out of the way and landed on top of you on the street, hence the scraped palms."

He shook his head, slowly with his obvious headache, and reached for my hand, turning it over and gently ran his thumb over my palm.

"You saved my life Lilly, and fuck, I've been such a dick the past few days... and what I said to Brendon... ugh, I'm surprised you even stuck around." He muttered.

It was obvious he was taking this harder than I thought and although a lot of it was true it was still undeserved.

Up until this point he had been nothing but wonderful, to which I'm sure took a high degree of self control.

He was bound to snap at some point, and after all the shit I put him through when I was pregnant, and even then just as we were married, I supposed he was entitled to his own freak out.

With those thoughts in my head I slid into the bed next to Will just shy of touching him.

"I love you Will, you're the only man I ever want to be with. I know you're insecure, okay, I am too. Trust me seeing thousands of girls throw themselves at your husband doesn’t do much for your self esteem."

He frowned. "You know it's only you I see. Everyone else is pretty much a sharpie or a flashbulb. It's just, when I think of you and other guys-"

"I see them the same way you see those other girls." I finished for him, tentatively settling my head on his shoulder.

Will winced slightly and I moved to pull away but he stretched his arm around my shoulders.

"It hurts a little but it's worth it in the end." He murmured, drawing me closer to his chest.

And somehow I knew he wasn’t just talking about his injuries.