Look for the Girl With the Broken Smile

The next morning, as soon as Dougie woke up, Harry pulled him aside to talk.

"Listen, Doug," Harry told him quietly, even though everyone else was already downstairs. "I'm going to tell you something that I'm only telling to you, okay? So please keep this quiet."

"What is it?" Dougie looked at Harry's solemn expression. Had Harry killed someone? He bit back a laugh before making himself look serious.

"It's about SJ. I want to ask you if you can please, please not bother her today," Harry said.

"I don't bother her, she bothers me," Dougie grumbled.

"I'm serious this time, Dougie! Because, look..." He exhaled. "It's her dad's birthday today, alright?"

"Wha—oh." Dougie suddenly understood.

"Yeah, so, don't do anything that could get her annoyed, because any little thing could set her off," Harry continued.

"Yeah, of course." Dougie didn't know how to say that the mere sight of him could set her off.

"Thanks, mate." Harry patted him on the shoulder. "I know you don't like her much, but she's my cousin and I care a lot about her."

If Harry didn't mention it, Dougie might not have noticed anything. But since he did, Dougie could see that SJ was a little quieter and more subdued than usual. She looked tired, too, like she hadn't slept last night.

Dougie suddenly felt bad. Yeah, he didn't have a father, either, but his had walked out on Dougie and his family. His dad was a coward and Dougie didn't want anything to do with him. On the other hand, SJ, he knew, had loved her dad. Dougie couldn't imagine how awful it would be, if someone that close to him suddenly died.

That night they didn't have a concert, so they were stuck driving all day without a break. Danny and Tom, oblivious to anything else going on, were fooling around with the Wii. SJ was sitting silently, not really focusing as she played with the dog tags around her neck. Harry was sitting watching her, and Dougie was watching him watching her. SJ was lucky she had a cousin like Harry. He really did care a lot about her.

"Poynter," he heard SJ say.

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Can you come upstairs? I have to finish your portrait," she requested rather than demanded.

"Sure. Of course." He stood up hastily and followed her out the room. Harry shot him a look, and Dougie nodded in return.

Once upstairs, SJ flipped to a new sheet in her drawing pad and began sketching. Dougie sat without talking as her eyes kept flicking from the paper to his face.

"Can you turn on the light next to you?" she finally spoke. It was getting dark.

"Yeah, sure." Dougie hastened to do as she said. As he did, he saw her dog tags flash once again. "What're the dog tags for?" he asked without thinking.

She tensed up immediately. "Can't you just shut up? I'm concentrating here," she snapped.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Dougie apologized. This was exactly what Harry was talking about! Couldn't he keep quiet for once?

A couple minutes later, SJ answered him quietly, "They were my dad's."

Dougie chanced a glance at her face. She looked incredibly sad. "Oh," was what came out. Then he silently cursed himself. Oh?! Couldn't he think of anything better to say?

SJ didn't seem to hear him anyway. "He had them cause he was diabetic," she continued woodenly. "It was the only way they could identify him when he—he—" Her voice trembled. She pressed her lips together and looked down.

Dougie looked hard at her. At that moment, she looked so vulnerable. He had never seen her like this before. "SJ..." he began, though he had no idea what he was going to say. But then a tear slowly trickled down her cheek.

She tried brushing it away, but another one fell down. Then the next minute, she was sobbing.

Dougie felt at loss with what to do. "I'm sorry, SJ," he muttered.

She buried her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Dougie moved awkwardly toward her until he was right next to her. "SJ, I'm really sorry," he said, even though he knew those were empty words. Seriously, 'I'm sorry'? What did that even mean?

He sat on the edge of her chair and slipped his arm around her.

SJ seemed to realize who she was with. She took a deep breath to control her tears. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm fine..."

"SJ." Dougie looked her straight in her green eyes and said softly," You don't have to pretend everything's okay if it's not, you know."

This sent a fresh wave of tears pouring down her cheeks. "I just miss him so much," she whispered.

Dougie pulled her close to him. "It's okay." He rubbed her back soothingly. Huh. Maybe he wasn't too bad at being nice after all. A couple of minutes, her crying slowed and she pulled away and looked up at him. "Are you alright?" he asked her in a low voice.

"Yeah." She wiped her wet cheeks. "I just wanna be alone now, please. But..." She waited until he looked at her. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Your welcome," Dougie told her, and he meant it. Weirdly enough, he had sorta understood SJ. Then he did something that surprised them both—he leaned forward and kissed her very lightly on her cheek. Then he stood up. She stared up at his face, seeming to search for something. Dougie was confused. Why had he just done that? It was one thing to comfort her while she was crying, and another to kiss her on the cheek. "S'later," he finally muttered as he turned to head down the stairs.

If he had looked back, he would have seen SJ raise her fingers very gently to touch her cheek where Dougie had kissed her.