Just Impolite

The next day and a half, Ryan and I had lots of small talks about things we think about before we go to sleep, self-conscious things, family and friendships, and just small things that bugged us. We also had common interest in movies and books.

Also his friends, Brendon and Brent, visited us. They also mention things about Spencer, who I have no idea who he is. They said he’s been in California to visit his aunt and was coming back soon enough. Yeah, I’m nosey, but hey they aren’t the quietest talkers ever.

The three were as I predicted, around my age. Ryan is only a couple days older than me,
Brendon was a year younger, and Brent was two years younger.

“So you’re going to end things with Rob, right?” Ryan asked as he flipped through the channels of our small, faraway, and low-quality TV.

I watched the ever-changing screen with my full attention, “I guess, but I don’t know if I have the guts to though.”

“I know what you mean,” he added with a sigh, “But don’t go on asking how and-or why.”

I kept my mouth shut and obeyed him because I wasn’t going to anyways. Looking to Ryan, I saw he’d looked away from the TV screen and sort of focused on the remote control, fiddling with the small buttons it had. Something made him down in the dumps.

The rest of the day, Ryan and I didn’t have our small talks that we usually did. I was really disappointed in myself, even if I was unsure of what I did. I also felt really lonely because I had no one to just spill to. I think I have a problem, honestly. I’m very codependent on someone and I’ve this constant need to vent out all my issues, and I can’t keep it all bottled up for too long or I’d get stressed and depressed. (A/N: Wow, that was a run-on sentence)

12:34AM. My favorite time of the day. Why? It was cute how it said 1-2-3-4. But nonetheless, I couldn’t sleep. I felt guilty that I was the reason Ryan didn’t want to talk to me. Wait, what did I do? Nothing! So why is he not talking to me?

Soon enough, I started crying silently. I was frustrated that I made someone stop wanting to talk to me, I was about to explode if I didn’t just tell someone how I felt right now, and I was also afraid.

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7:00AM. My body always self-consciously told itself to wake up at 7AM, everyday. I don’t know, I suppose I got accustomed to it. I stretched and look to my left to see and empty bed. All the sheets and blankets were folded neatly on top of it. I’m guessing Ryan left.
To be honest, I was sad. He was an interesting person to listen to, and a good listener. Even if he was a bit quiet and awkward, I felt a connection to him. I bit my lip as I thought about it some more.

Then I saw a bright florescent yellow sticky note on the bedside table. It was from Ryan, of course.

‘Good morning, Amelie. I’m sorry that things got awkward between us. I hadn’t intended it to be that way. I’m guessing it’s my fault. But anyways, I hope you get better. And if you ever need to talk to someone, here’s my number: (xxx) xxx-xxxx.’

A smile crept upon my lips as I reread the note over and over again. I don’t know, the note made me so happy. Maybe it’s because I’m glad that he actually wanted to be there for me in my time of need.

I quickly entered his number into my phone and smiled at it. I mean, sure, he’s a great therapist-like acquaintance, but I also felt an attraction to him. I'm hoping I'd get the guts to call him soon enough.

But wait, I still have a boyfriend... Oh whatever,