Don't Stay Because I Need You

Present

Immediately I felt light headed. My heart stopped and my stomach flipped. All of a sudden I felt my throat tighten up and I leaned over, vomiting half in, and half outside of Tom’s apartment. I wiped my mouth and looked up to see him staring, wide eyed at me. I turned and ran down the hall full speed smashing my hand against the elevator button as I got toward the end.

“Come on please” I begged, pressing the button over and over again until I finally heard a ding. Tears were streaming down my face as I hurried to get inside…but someone had caught my arm, swinging me around to face them.

“Jen, I can explain look you know how I-“ I snatched my arm away from him. Clutching it close to my chest as if he had bitten it.

“There’s nothing to explain! J-Just…leave m-me alone” My words were broken up seeing as I was crying so hard now. I noticed him frown and try to wipe a tear from my cheek, but I smacked his hand away.

“Jennifer…don’t,” he pleaded staring down at my feet. I shook my head and looked up at him, right into those eyes that had fooled me for so long. I swear I could actually feel my heart crumbling to nothing inside of me.

“You stay the hell away from me Tom,” my vision was beginning to blur from the tears, “and don’t even bother coming back this time” The words slithered out of my mouth, more harshly than even I had expected them to. His face went hard…. blank, showing no emotion at all. If he had cared I would have never guessed it. I stepped back, into the elevator and pressed the button that would take to the first floor.

The last thing I remembered seeing was Tom, staring directly at me and I couldn’t help but turn away. I had meant what I said. I was done with him and his ‘flings’. I couldn’t keep pretending that he loved me back. And why should he? I wasn’t all that pretty anyways. I was too skinny and too short. My plain Jane brown hair was almost always pulled back into a simple ponytail. My emerald eyes were too big for my face and I got morning breath just like any other normal person…excluding the super models Tom slept with.

I crossed my arms tightly as I walked through the lobby, wiping any stray tears from my face. I couldn’t tell if people were staring, due to the images of Tom and that…tramp swimming around in my mind. I was beginning to feel queasy again and as soon as I steeped outside, I threw up in the trashcan right by the doors, sobbing as I did so.

I spit and looked up, I could barely see anything and my head was feeling even worse than before. I couldn’t take this anymore. I wanted to go home… I needed to go home…I needed…Bill.