Status: I'm baaack...
The Chronicles of City Lights and Modern Love
Vol.17
I just stared at the words inscribed on the grave stone, reading them over and over again, hoping that I would realise that I'd misread them or that I'd misunderstood. My mind was scrambling for any other explanation for what was staring back at me.
"Here lies Luciano Catalano.
Forever young and forever in our hearts.
1990-2008"
My hand instinctively grasped the name plate hanging around my neck. It felt as if my heart had been wrenched from my chest and my breathing felt constricted.The only coherent thought I could make out from my whirling brain was to get up and run, so I did. I ran through the rows of headstones and through the gate to the cemetery, then I just kept running. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't want to stop - I didn't know how to stop. I ran down the small lane on which the cemetery was located, and then onto the main road that lead back to the centre of town and the beach.
Luciano was dead. He was gone, and I was never going to catch up with him in our adult lives like I'd always envisioned in the back of my mind. I had always held a sliver of hope that we would meet up again, and we would fill each other in on what had happened since our separation. He would be the same Luciano, with the same twinkle in his eye and the same smile that made me feel safe, and he would have gotten away from the mafia, because he was too good to be entangled in that world. What if I hadn't left him behind? What if we'd taken him with us to Australia? What if I had gone back to look for him in Portofino? Would any of these things have made a difference?
I had made it to the boardwalk along the beach when I recognised the thudding of feet following me, and I was overtaken by Carmine, who then turned and caught me mid stride. I tried to shake him off, but he had already pinned my arms to my sides and was pulling me to his chest.
"I'm so so sorry," he said sincerely, resting his chin on my head and stroking my back.
I lost track of how long I stood there, overcome by shock, embraced in Carmine's arms. Finally, he relinquished his grasp enough for me to take a step back from him, whereby I proceeded to purge the contents of my stomach onto the grass at his feet.
"Here lies Luciano Catalano.
Forever young and forever in our hearts.
1990-2008"
My hand instinctively grasped the name plate hanging around my neck. It felt as if my heart had been wrenched from my chest and my breathing felt constricted.The only coherent thought I could make out from my whirling brain was to get up and run, so I did. I ran through the rows of headstones and through the gate to the cemetery, then I just kept running. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't want to stop - I didn't know how to stop. I ran down the small lane on which the cemetery was located, and then onto the main road that lead back to the centre of town and the beach.
Luciano was dead. He was gone, and I was never going to catch up with him in our adult lives like I'd always envisioned in the back of my mind. I had always held a sliver of hope that we would meet up again, and we would fill each other in on what had happened since our separation. He would be the same Luciano, with the same twinkle in his eye and the same smile that made me feel safe, and he would have gotten away from the mafia, because he was too good to be entangled in that world. What if I hadn't left him behind? What if we'd taken him with us to Australia? What if I had gone back to look for him in Portofino? Would any of these things have made a difference?
I had made it to the boardwalk along the beach when I recognised the thudding of feet following me, and I was overtaken by Carmine, who then turned and caught me mid stride. I tried to shake him off, but he had already pinned my arms to my sides and was pulling me to his chest.
"I'm so so sorry," he said sincerely, resting his chin on my head and stroking my back.
I lost track of how long I stood there, overcome by shock, embraced in Carmine's arms. Finally, he relinquished his grasp enough for me to take a step back from him, whereby I proceeded to purge the contents of my stomach onto the grass at his feet.