2,4,6,8, I Swear to You I'm ***ing Straight!

Annie's Point Of View

You know, I never really doubted my intelligence, until now. I'm just so fucking stupid. How could I not even think of protection, until now? Just that alone, made me sob even harder, and all Spencer could do is hold me, and rock me gently back and forth telling me that it would be okay. And as for mom, all she could do was hold my hand, and just assure me that she'd be with me every step of the way, no matter what happens.

"Hey Annie, where's Brooklyn? I thought she was living here with you?" Spencer questions.

"I told her to leave. She did." I say with no emotion.

"Why would you do something like that… I thought you really cared about her, and it seems like she cares about you too. Isn't she the one who called the police for you." Spencer says, trying not to sound like he's admonishing me.

"If she wouldn't have called the police, I wouldn't have to deal with this, I wouldn't have to have face it. I could have just kept quiet about it, and gone on with my life. Now, it's spiraled out of control." I say through sobs.

I know I was wrong for what I did to Brooklyn. I loved her. I really, really did, but I was just so angry at her for doing the opposite of what I asked. I could have handled all of this on my own. I swear.

"Mom. Can we pull me out of school? I'd rather be home schooled. I know you always taught us not to run away from our fears and our problems, but this is just something I don't want to take on. It's embarrassing." I say softly. The main majority of reason is that I just don't want to see Brooklynn.

"Yes baby, anything you want." My mom says with out any question in her voice.

About an hour later, after filling Spencer in about what happened exactly,and tears being shed by him, there's a knock at the door. My mom goes to answer it, and behind her, come is Brooklynn, looking really run down. Her hazel eyes are red and glassy, she's more pale than normal.

"Hey Annie, can I talk to you?" She says to me carefully, like she's afraid.

"I guess, come up with me to my room." I say with no emotion, and start walking up the stairs, and she follows behind me.

When we get into my room, I shut the door, and I look at her warily.

"You've been using again." I say softly.

"Yeah. I have. I'm sorry I didn't take to kindly to the person I love kicking me out with no second thought." She replies with pure venom.

I look at her evenly. "If you would have just done as I asked, I wouldn't have asked you to leave." I say loudly.

She looks at me and sighs.

"Look. I didn't come here to fight with you. I'm sorry for going against your wishes. I just wanted to do what I thought was best for you. I wanted to protect you, keep you safe. You're my girlfriend, my best friend, and I love you. I just don't want you upset with me anymore." She says coming closer to me, and running a thumb down my cheek, and I shy away from her touch.

"What's wrong?" She asks, looking really hurt that I would do such a thing.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." The words just tumble out of my mouth, before I can even try to give a proper explanation.

Brooklynn just looks at me. She backs away, and her eyebrows come together in confusion.

"What… do you mean?" She chokes out.

"I just can't be with you. I don't want to be with you. I can't handle a relationship with you right now." I say, looking in her eyes.

In her eyes, I saw hurt, then a flash of confusion, then pure, unfiltered rage.

"So you're breaking up with me because I did what was fucking best for <i>you</i> and you're fucking bitter about it, or because of what really happened?" She yells at me. I just look away from her cold gaze.

"Answer my question Anistacia. Don't you fucking ignore me." She yells coming closer.

"You're no good for me." I say simply.

"Since when am I not good enough for you, a few months ago, everything was fine and fucking dandy, and I was all you wanted, and now, out of the blue, I'm not. Please, explain what type of logic that is Anistacia. Tell me." She says lowly.

I try to remain as calm as I can.

"This is a learning experience. I cannot be with you. I will not be with you. Being with you, has only cause me unwanted hardship, and now this. I got <i>raped</i> because I was with you. Because I love you. I lost my friends because of you. I think you only chose me because I had everything going for me, and you just wanted to fuck it all up. Like I said. We're done, and I think it's time for you to go now." I say, and open the door for her to leave.

She shakes her head, and starts to walk towards the door, but before she leaves, she grabs my shoulders and gives me a few parting words.

"This has fucked with your mind. This is not the Annie I know. I didn't lie when I said I loved you. I will always fucking love you, no matter what you say to me, not matter what you do to me. I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to be angry anymore, because just by listening to you talk, I can tell you need all the help you can get. Something has snapped within you, and I hope Spencer and your mom will be able to help you. You're not making any sense. You're blaming me for things I had no control over, but if you wish, I'll leave, for good. But just know that I'll make sure that you'll always be able to get up with me, no matter what. I really do love you, and I know we'll meet again some day. But if you really want me to walk out that door, and leave your life forever, just give the word." She says with the most love, care, and understanding that I've ever heard in all of my life. That alone, makes me tear up.

"I don't know why I'm doing the things I'm doing. I'm fucked up. I'm forever fucked up. I love you so much. I do, but for now, I need you to just go far away from me. I promise I'll find you when I'm doing better…just forget about us for now. It will be easier. I can't be with you. Not at this time in life." I say to her, taking her face softly, and kissing her forehead.

And with a final "I love you" that would be the final time, I'd ever see Brooklynn-Kayleigh Perez, the girl who really taught me about my self. The girl who helped me step out of my semi-sheltered life. The girl who taught me how to love, and eventually, be strong.