Plight of Amour.

Rillia drove to the airport with the windows down.

My suitcase sat in the backseat. My duffle bag with my pictures and books stayed protectively on my lap.

I could feel the ticket burning a hole in my back pocket. It felt like it had been conjured up right from the deepest pits of hell.

I wiped a tear that I accidentally let slip.

I had been trying to put on a strong front. I didn’t want to send Rillia into yet another hysterical crying fit that would result in a false alarm of cardiac arrest.

I stared out the windshield at the approaching airport. I could see the many planes and all the cars and the gigantic dome that was the terminal.

My stomach clenched.

I was really doing this.

I was in such a hurry to leave the town that I once wanted to come back to so terribly.

Rillia made a choking sound.

I closed my eyes. “Rillia, are you okay?”

“No!” Rillia cried, slapping her hand on the steering wheel. “I loathe Bill for making you leave me.”

“Bill isn’t making me leave you,” I shot.

“No, but he helped the situation along.”

I rolled my eyes. I knew she was upset, but there was no reason to be vicious about it. Bill had done nothing but break my heart.

“Sorry, Calla,” Rillia muttered. “I just don’t want to be so far away from you. You’re my baby sister! This is like death for me.”

“And having Bill not love me is like death, too,” I replied.

To say the least, I was not exactly in the best of moods.

“I see your point.” Rillia glanced out of the corner of her eye at me. “Calla, I don’t want our final minutes together to be terrible.”

“They’re not.”

“Yes they are! I’m ruining them.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You’re just being hysterical.”

Rillia sighed loudly and turned back to the road. “I am going to miss you so much.”

“I know.” I stared down aimlessly at my duffle bag. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

“Will you call me as soon as you land?”

I nodded. “I will. And I’ll call you when I’m settled in.”

Rillia pulled the car to a stop at a red light. We were so to the airport I could hear the loud airplanes taking off and flying up into the air.

I peered at the clock in the dashboard.

Nine o’clock.

One hour till take off.

One hour till my life was over for the second time.

I cast my gaze back to Rillia. She wasn’t crying, but her face was etched with depression. She looked absolutely distraught.

I frowned and reached over to pat her hand.

I understood exactly why she was so upset about this. She had to feel like she was losing the one she loved. I had always been there for her and we had never been parted. I was ruining that perfect streak. She was my best friend. Had been for the longest time, even after I fell into a strange zombie like state.

I was breaking her heart, killing her on the inside.

Could I do this?

It would haunt me for the rest of my life if Rillia ended up being like me. I did not want that for my sister.

Maybe she would forget about me. Or find someone to love.

I could only hope the best for my sister.

And for Teniell! And Finn!

Once I was out of their lives and they didn’t have to focus their attention on me, maybe they would be able to lead their lives happily.

I smiled at that thought.

They deserved everything in the world, and I hope they received it.

Rillia turned the steering wheel quickly to the right, wheeling us into the airport parking lot. Rillia began circling, trying to find somewhere to park, even though there were many, many empty spaces.

She was stalling.

“Rillia, you can just drop me off at the front door,” I pointed out.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes, it will be easier that way.”

Rillia sighed exasperatedly. “If that’s what you want.”

She stopped the car in front of the wide, glass doors and turned to me, leaving the engine running.

I unbuckled and glanced at her.

Her chin trembled.

I locked my arms around her. “I love you, Rillia.”

“I love you too.”

She was already crying.

I pulled away. “Bye bye, sweetie.”

“Bye.”

I climbed out of the car and went to the backseat. I grabbed my suitcase.

Rillia waved and yelled, “BYE!”

“Bye!” I waved over my shoulder as I started toward the airport entrance.

/-/-/-/

Airports. Are. Stupid.

I hate airports.

And airport food.

I chomped quietly on a chip and stared at the giant clock mounted on the left wall of the terminal.

I had already gave my ticket to the secretary and gone through security and had my luggage put away and all that.

The plane didn’t board until ten.

I still had eleven minutes.

Quietly I pulled out my phone and turned it on. The first thing I was greeted with was flashing letters reading:

Twenty missed calls.

I pressed the button in and scrolled down through the calls.

Teniell.

Dad.

Teniell.

Bill.

Bill.

Bill.

Bill.

Bill…

The list went on with only one name.

He had called me seventeen times, all in the span of about twelve hours.

I pressed the number three…

And stopped.

I could not call him.

I just couldn’t.

I wouldn’t know what to say, for one thing. I also didn’t want to let anything else stupid slip.

Oh, but how I longed to hear that beautiful German accent. It was so breathtaking, so heart wrenching, and so absolutely adorable!

I turned my phone back off and slid it in my pocket.

I blinked away the feeling of tears as best I could; my stomach was rolling.

My appetite now was completely gone, so I got up and tossed the remainder my chips in the nearest trashcan.

Several people across the terminal were staring at me.

I had no idea why, but I ignored it and sat back down. I just watched the giant clock that seemed to be mocking me.

This clock decided it would go extremely fast, apparently. Every time I looked up I had less and less time until my complete death.

It made me nervous.

My voices were still screaming at me to stay home. Even my bad voice was telling me to give him another chance.

Even the voices in my head knew I would go crazy without Bill. Or at least without fantasies or healthy thoughts about Bill.

I put my hands on my knees and leaned forward.

I had to leave, right?

Bill didn’t want me!

So why should I still want him?

Because you are in love with him.

This was…this was a new voice.

A voice that I recognized as…my own.

Oh, hell! What was that? my bad voice cried.

“That was…me,” I whispered.

Why did this surprise me?

Because in five years, none of the thoughts in my head were my own. They were always either in Bill’s voice, or the good and the bad voice. I hadn’t really noticed it before, but now I could focus.

What was it about Bill that suddenly made me so sane?

How could he have such a hold over me that he made me go insane without him, and completely be perfectly okay when I finally had him?

It was so preposterous!

I was Calla Klein.

I had been a crazy, nutty author for what seemed like half my life now. I had voices telling me what to do. I confused fantasies with reality and had dreams that made me scream out into the night.

This wasn’t normal…

And yet, as I thought back to when I was on stage with him, he made me feel normal.

And only he could do that.

Rillia’s patronizing glances that questioned my sanity never helped. Even Teniell’s kind words and Finn’s adorable laughter could make me feel like I didn’t belong in a padded room somewhere.

He was meant for me.

Now I had to leave him….again.

I coughed to hide my dry sob. The people around me stared again, but I looked away.

“Flight 0969 from Hamburg to London, boarding now.”

I looked up at the clock.

Five till ten; time to board.

I grabbed my things and began walking. I was walking slightly slower than the other passengers running passed me.

I was buying time.

I had to prepare myself for this.

Slowly I thought about where I would go.

I would fly from here to London. From London to Boston. Then from Boston to New York, where my father would drive me home.

I sighed.

That did not help my mood.

It worsened it.

This was official.

I was really leaving my hometown, leaving everyone—and by everyone, I meant everyone—I loved.

I couldn’t believe this.

My vision was blurred with tears so I didn’t see the random child’s toy lying out in the terminal floor.

My foot caught on it and I tumbled, landing on my knees hard. I let out a loud sound of pain.

Tiled flooring is much harder than it appears.

I grumbled louder than necessary.

My incident only made people stare at me more.

I hoisted myself up and grabbed my bags.

I wanted to scream, “Thanks for being helpful!” But I’m pretty sure it was against the rules to then proceed to call them names that would make a sailor blush.

I watched the terminal ground as I continued my trek to the plane.

I listened to the announcements overhead, to the laughter and cries and goodbyes of departing loved ones.

“Oh, please don’t leave me.”

I didn’t recognize the voice, but I lifted my head anyway.

A couple stood in front of me, latching onto each other. They were whispering quietly to each other and then they kissed goodbye…

I made a face and walked around them.

I really wanted someone to come kiss me goodbye.

I wanted so many things.

I’m greedy, I realized. But not just greedy for anything. Greedy for love. That had been all I ever wanted. Ever. And the universe and fate just couldn’t let me have it.

The security check was very close, only a few feet away.

I pressed my lips into a thin line and fought the tears yet again.

But I couldn’t go back.

I was too far ahead to just turn back around.

Wasn’t I?

I heard yelling from behind me. Running, squeaking on the tile floor.

Probably just another person trying to tell their lover goodbye.

Only about four more steps to the security check.

I decided to make those four steps the longest in my entire life.

“CALLA LILLIAN KLEIN!”

I whipped around on my heel, my eyes darting through the terminal.

Finally my gaze landed on him, standing toward the waiting area. His hair was windblown from running…And Teniell and Finn were standing beside him.

We stared at each other for several minutes before something inside me snapped.

I dropped my bags to the ground and started running.

He quickly began to do so as well.

In the middle of the terminal, we met.

Right before our bodies collided, he bent just enough to pick me up and spin me around in wide circles.

We came to a stop with spinning, so he locked his arms underneath my bottom to hold me up so that we were eye-to-eye.

“Bill!” I cried. “What are you doing here?”

Bill looked at me, his beautiful eyes full of sorrow.

“I’m sorry about what I did,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have just stood there like a complete idiot.”

I petted his smooth hair, nodding slowly, smiling.

“I love you, Calla Lily. I always have and I always will, like I promised you five years ago.”

I stopped breathing.

He did love me.

I KNEW IT!!!! the good voice shrieked.

Yes, yes you did. It was my voice again.

And I noticed yet again that I felt normal now that I was in his arms.

“I love you, too, Bill. Always have, always will.” I smiled widely. “And you are completely forgiven.”

Bill blew out a breath. “Oh, gott sei dank.”

I giggled. “Thank god indeed.”

“Oh, yeah,” Bill said suddenly. “We didn’t get to finish.”

I remembered as well. I had screwed our kiss up with saying that I loved him.

“You’re right,” I breathed.

“Where were we?”

“Right…here.”

I leaned forward…

And kissed those lips I just couldn’t get enough of.