Something To Talk About

"Danya, you look like shit," Jon said sitting down across from me in the other purple chair, in the same Starbucks where we'd first met, "What happened?"

I looked up at him lazily, draped over my own chair, showered and dressed for the first time since Ryan had left me standing alone in my living room days earlier, but it still hadn't made much of a difference to my appearance.

"You called me, so dont act like he didn't tell you," I mumbled and rubbed a tired eye.

I'd barely slept since it happened, certainly not in the bed where it happened, and could hardly eat because every time I thought of him, I felt sick to my stomache, but I couldn't get him off my mind. Despite the lack of eating, I'd still managed to gain 5 pounds in the four days that I'd been ignoring Ryan's phone calls (and torturing myself repeatedly with his voicemails). Basically, I'd never felt so horrible in my life.

"What are you talking about?" Jon questioned, looking puzzled, "I told you when I dropped you off the other night that I'd call, and that we'd hang out again before we left for the cabin..."

I shot him a disbelieving glare.

"Jonothan, if Ryan hadn't told you what happened," I explained, "You would have called by dinner time the next day, like you always do."

We exchanged a look and finally Jon let out a long sigh, sitting back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"The least you could do is talk to the guy, you know?" He began, admitting defeat, "You at least owe him that much, don't you?"

"I don't owe him anything," I responded sharply, then immediately felt bad for snapping at him, noticing the unsure expression on him face, like he didn't really know what to say, "Jon, I'm sorry."

He looked out the window, absent mindedly, "For what, exactly?"

"All of this..." I shook my head slowly, "Jon, you shouldn't be stuck in the middle of this. It isn't fair to you. Especially since up until that night me and you were, like..."

"Kidding ourselves?" He shook his head, "Forget about it. I'm not upset. If something doesn't work it doesn't work. I'm just worried about you guys. Ryans a mess and you're..."

"Not doing much better," I admitted, sadly.

"Why wont you talk to him, Danya?" Jon asked softly, "It's killing him."

"I can't," I stared at the cieling, trying to cut myself off from all the emotions bubbling up in my chest, "I'm just... I'm scared."

"But," He looked at me intently, "Ryan is in love with you."

I bit my lip at that and he leaned in, studying me.

"Do you love him back?"

I shrugged a shoulder but as I tried not to give myself away, tears welled up in my eyes, and Jon got up quickly, pulling me up with him.

"Thats it," He said harshly, "Come on, you're talking to him right now."

"Wha-" I tried to protest as he pulled me out the doors of Starbucks.

"Shut up and get in the car," He barked and I thought it would be best to go along with it, even though Ryan was the last person I wanted to see just then.

At Ryan's, he litterally pulled me into the elevator with a firm grasp on my elbow as I continued to fight.

"Jonothan Jacob Walker," I warned as the doors slid open on the top floor and Jon stepped off, trying to take me with him, "If you make me do this right now, I will never forgive you..."

"Danya, I know you well enough now to tell that if you dont talk to him, you will probably never forgive yourself." He sighed and the elevator doors started to slide closed.

I hit the button, opening the doors again, and looked up into his caring brown eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"All this time he's been telling us that we're soul mates, and it turns out he couldn't have been more wrong," He shrugged letting his hand slip off my elbow, "Yeah, we get along, we have fun together and sometimes stay up all night talking... But I can't be your soul mate... because Ryan is."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and again the elevator doors started to slide closed. I pressed the button once more and looked at Jon.

"Let's say... Let's just say, hypothetically, that Ryan is my soul mate," I started softly, "Why would the other night have freaked me out so bad if that were true?"

"I don't know," He shook his head, "Maybe it was just too soon. As simple as that. But it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to be together, just that maybe you shouldn't have been together so soon."

I bit my lip and this time when the doors began to slide closed again, Jon forced them back open and sighed.

"All I know is that you need to talk to him. At least let him know you're alright," He reached in and took my hand, "Please, Danya?"

I stepped into the hallway and Jon smiled sadly at me.

"You love him don't you?"

I nodded, trying again not to cry, and when he noticed, he pulled me into a warm hug.
Squeazing me even tighter, Jon whispered to me, "Then you don't have anything to lose."