Something To Talk About

"Where have you been all night?" Ryan's voice wondered suggestively after I'd finally made it home and realized I had 3 missed calls and a voicemail from him telling me to call the second I got home, no matter how late it was.

"Starbucks," I mumbled, "Oh my God, Ryan...I have to work in the morning!"

"So then why were you out so late?" He asked.

"Because..." The word dragged out of my lips, and I sighed, lying back on my bed with the phone pressed to my ear, "He's so great..."

"What did you think I was kidding?" He laughed, "So, whats the verdict? Is he your soul mate?"

"I think the jury is still out on that one, Ryan," I said, "But he seems like a really sweet guy, we talked all night and were going to hang out again. Why didn't you tell me he was gorgeous? I nearly died when he sat down across from me and introduced himself."

"I told you I only hang out with cute people," He reminded me.

"But that amount of gorgeous in one person is just not fair," I paused, "Unless he is my soul mate. Then he has just the right amount."

"Wow, way to make me feel good," He said sarcastically, "All I got was 'malnutrition works for you' and 'coke habits are hot'."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart..." I laughed, "You're just as gorgeous as Jon."

"Thats better."

There was a pause in the conversation, something Jon and I hadn't had all night, and I let out a dreamy sigh.

"You love him," Ryan noted, "You're hanging out again and you love him."

"He wears flip flops," I smiled to myself, "... And I wear flip flops."

"I guess its meant to be," He said with a laugh but as it faded it seemed like the whole mood of the conversation had dropped.

"Ryan?" I asked softly, sitting up again, "How was your night?"

"It was okay."

His less than detailed response was followed by another silence.

"What did you and Keltie do?" I asked next, and was having to work much harder than usual to get him to talk.

"Just dinner... Then she wanted to go clubbing," He let out a sigh, "And I didn't."

I made a non-committal noise, hoping he would continue and finally he did.

"We got into a fight and she went without me." He chuckled sadly, "I stayed here and made more fettuccini. She poured herself into bed about an hour ago and passed out."

"Sexy," I quipped.

"Oh, yeah," He added, "Nothing hotter than tequila breath strong enough to peel the paint off the walls. Thats kind of why I'm up. There is no way I can sleep next to her tonight."

"Hmm," I giggled.

"What?" He wondered, playful again, "What are you humming at?"

"What are you doing right now?" I asked him.

"Why?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, you cant sleep in your bed tonight, and after 4 vanilla lattes theres pretty much no chance I'll be sleeping any time soon," I said smirking to myself, "I realize thats its 3:46 in the morning, but if neither of us are sleeping anyways, I'm just thinking it would be more enjoyable if we were not sleeping in the same place. Don't you think?"

"Well when you put it like that," He agreed, "It would be better than staying up all night alone, being miserable."

"Exactly," I pulled my legs up and crossed them under me, "So are we going to not sleep together, or what?"

"Yeah, I'd love to not sleep with you tonight, Danya," He said, waited a moment, and couldn't suppress his genuine laughter any longer.

Ryan was already waiting with a table when I arrived at the Waffle House, but as I made my way over to him, I noticed that he looked incredibly tired. His eyes were half closed and had circles under them, and he had to stifle a yawn as I approached.

"Hey," He brightened slightly as I slid into the booth across from him, but blinked lazily.

"Hey you," I replied, and squeezed his cool hand, "You're going to fall asleep in your breakfast aren't you?"

"There's a very good chance," He smiled sheepishly.

"Want to blow this joint?" I wondered after a moment of thought, "I can set you up on the pull-out bed at my place. Its only, like, a four minute walk."

"Are you sure I wouldn't be imposing?" He asked, but I could tell he really needed some rest.

"Come on," I stood up and tugged on his arm, "You're always welcome at my place. Don't be silly."

He smiled up at me gratefully and let me drag him out of our Waffle House.

*****

"So how did the fettuccini turn out?" I wondered, cross legged on the end of the fold-out bed that the two of us had pulled out and was now taking up most of my living room.

"Not bad, I've got to hand it to myself," He chuckled, resting back against the pillow I'd lent him, "I'm slightly less hopeless than I thought I was... At least when it comes to cooking."

"See? I knew it," I smirked.
He smiled back and neither of us said anything until Ryan let out another yawn.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," He reached for my hand, "There was no way I'd have been able to sleep at home tonight."

"No problem," I said again, fidgeting with the corner of his blanket, "I guess I should let you get some sleep though..."

I started to climb off the bed, but he stopped me.

"Didn't you say you had to work in the morning?" He wondered suddenly.
"I... I think I deserve a sick day," I shrugged, and when I looked up, meeting his gaze he was smiling.

"In that case, stay for a bit," His hand tightened slightly around mine though he was still gentle, "I'm not going to fall asleep yet, anyways."

I eyed him for a moment, but the tingles in my hand finally convinced me to stay, and I fell back onto the bed next to him, breathing my feeble consent, "Alright."

"So you had fun tonight?" He wondered casually as I brushed my hair out of my face, and I noted that his laid-back tone sounded a bit forced, "With Jon?"

"Yeah, I think he seems like a really nice guy," I confessed quietly, "I uh...I kind of want to get to know him better before anything happens, though."

"I thought you two talked all night?"

"We did," I nodded slowly, "And we have the same taste in music and footwear, and we both have a mutual appreciation for wit and sarcasm, but I want to know who he is, not just what he likes, you know? Who he is as a person would be just as important in a relationship as how much we have in common."

"I'm really starting to realize that now," He sighed sadly, and this time I squeezed his hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly.

"I wish there was something to talk about," He shrugged, "It used to be great. She was funny and cute, we got along really well and I loved spending time with her."

"What changed?"

"I don't really know," He shook his head, "I guess it started when the last tour ended, and she wasn't always with us. I kind of realized that maybe I didn't trust her as much as I thought I did, and I never really liked how much or how often she drank. We've never really talked about my dad, though."

Ryan had explained the night before during our question game that his father had been an alcoholic and had passed away 2 years prior.

I'd inquired as to his favorite and least favorite moments, and when it came time for the latter, I'd honestly expected a light hearted answer like accidentally losing his pants on stage. His response however, had been the moment he found out that his father had passed, and realizing that no matter how hard he worked or how hard he had tried to help that he had been unable to save his father, the one person who, despite his flaws, had always believed in Ryan.

"How long have you been together?" I asked him.

"Eight months," He rolled onto his side to look at me, "Danya, do you think I'm wasting my time?"

I sighed, "I can't answer that question for you, Ryan. You've got to figure that one out on your own."

He thought about it for a few moments then smiled softly, another yawn escaping as he opened his mouth to speak, "Thank you for listening to me. You must think I'm the worst person ever... And a horrible boyfriend."

"Not at all. I think you're an honest person with the best intentions." I whispered, "I just think you should probably be honest with her now, too."

With that I pushed myself off of the bed, pecked him on the forehead and told him to get some rest.

"Goodnight, Danya," He blinked slowly, "Thanks again..."

"Night Ryan."