I Would Follow You Anywhere

I sat in my bedroom, staring at the wall.

“Lily,” my mom said again, knocking on the other side of the door. She unsuccessfully tried twisting the locked doorknob open. I crossed my arms stubbornly.

“Lily, you have guests. Don’t be rude,” she instructed sternly through the door.

I didn’t reply. It was my thirteenth birthday, and I figured I could be rude if I wanted to.

I distantly heard voices coming from downstairs, where the party was going on without me. I didn’t care. I wouldn’t enjoy it if my best friend wasn’t here, anyway.

“Lily. Adam’s not coming.”

“I know that!” I exclaimed in annoyance. I wasn’t stupid, after all.

“You’re not helping anything by moping around.” I rolled my eyes but got off my bed and yanked the door open, stomping past her to join my party downstairs.

I knew this would be my worst birthday so far.
********************************************

I sat by Angela and Dana at my parents’ house, eternally bored.

It was basically a family party my parents insisted on throwing. Nothing exciting.

“Seriously Dana, it’s gross,” Angela was saying. I vaguely listened in. She was explaining to Dana why she shouldn’t leave leftover food uncovered in the fridge. I silently agreed. Last night’s pizza made the kitchen smell funny whenever one of us happened to open the fridge.

I zoned out again and glanced around my parents’ large backyard. I watched my grandparents talk. I watched my younger cousins run around. I saw my brother talking to-

Him.

My feet carried me across the lawn, without my consent. My brother had walked away, and now he was just glancing around thoughtfully. He suddenly noticed my presence when I was about two feet away. He smiled widely.

Did he forget how I had slammed the door in his face only 24 hours ago?

Without thinking, I grabbed him by the wrist like you would a disobedient toddler and pulled him over to the side of the house, where no one would see us. I let go of him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked angrily. His smile faded.

“Your mom invited me,” he said, deflating slightly under my glare. He trailed off into a story about our moms running into each other or something. “If you want me to leave, I will,” he added quickly.

I didn’t respond and looked away instead. I didn’t technically want him here, but I wasn’t rude enough to kick him out.

“This is for you,” he added, handing me a small, terribly wrapped box. “Happy Birthday.”

I wordlessly took it and stared at it, speechless. He went away without another word.

I slowly unwrapped it and opened the box after he left.

It was that Smashing Pumpkins cd he had given me six years ago. My eyes teared at the memory of that day, but I didn’t let any fall.

I felt just as bad now as I had back then.