As I crossed your path of gold
The break up
"John"
"Saffy cakes!"
He seemed delighted at the sound of my voice. I was touched. John and I had many good memories. But they wernt great. I pictured Gerard being in the memoried. I found myself smiling at the thought of us spending more time together.
"Sorry," I blurted. There was a silence for a moment.
"No."
His voice seemed kind of commanding and stern. I had never seen this shade of him before. I thought back to our past. We had never had an arguement.
"Scuse me?"
"You can't"
"What-"
You just can't ok? We've been together for so long it's too late to split up."
His voice was raised slightly and he was snappy. Perhaps this blow came at the right moment?
"It's not going to work. I'm not happy." I said with a slight tone of empathy.
"Yes you are. Is that Delia slag telling you to say this?"
I gasped and held the reciever away from my ear as it was too delicate. He had never slandered my friends before, i thought.
"No," I said after the slight pause. "That slag doesn't have a bad word to say about you."
"Oh? Then what is it then?"
"I'm not in love with you."
"Pah! I know you are. How can you not be?"
I looked quizzically out of my window, "Erm...well it's true."
"Call me back when you've sobred up then."
"Ooo!" I squeaked. My temperature was rising. "I havn't drank at all tonight actually!"
"Whatever love."
"Don't use that tone with me!"
I could hear him breathe heavily. I could tell he was getting angry.
"I've spent so much money on you!" He bellowed.
"I will never forget your generosity, John."
"Saffron Harrison, on my life, stop trying to leave me!"
"I am leaving you!"
"You can't just walk all over me for this long and then break up with me!"
I took a long enhaled breath. I Knew this would be hard. But if I truely wanted to be with gerard I would have to do this.
"Look, I don't love you. I've tried and I just cant love you. We've had some lovely times together. But I have feelings for someone else ok? And I don't care if they don't care if they don't love me back because all that matters is that I can't be with you any longer. I'm sorry and I shall never forget you John. Bye."
And then I slammed the phone down so I couldn't hear his words of persuassion that I predicted were yet to come. I threw myself on the leopard printed bean bag and squeezed my heart-shaped cushion between my arms. The sound of the telephone rang throughout the flat endlessly as my tears began falling. It was all over but the crying.
Thoughts crept into my mind. Maybe I was making a mistake? John was nice, warm...safe. Gerard was unrealiable. At least with John I knew where we was heading, at least I knew we would be alright. Gerard is unpredictable. This was a huge risk to be taking. I stared at the phone wishing it would unplug itself yet answer at the same time. I felt like picking up the phone and saying sorry. I wanted to take him back and forget Gerard like I had tried to before. I walked towards the rattling phone and picked it up...
"Saffy cakes!"
He seemed delighted at the sound of my voice. I was touched. John and I had many good memories. But they wernt great. I pictured Gerard being in the memoried. I found myself smiling at the thought of us spending more time together.
"Sorry," I blurted. There was a silence for a moment.
"No."
His voice seemed kind of commanding and stern. I had never seen this shade of him before. I thought back to our past. We had never had an arguement.
"Scuse me?"
"You can't"
"What-"
You just can't ok? We've been together for so long it's too late to split up."
His voice was raised slightly and he was snappy. Perhaps this blow came at the right moment?
"It's not going to work. I'm not happy." I said with a slight tone of empathy.
"Yes you are. Is that Delia slag telling you to say this?"
I gasped and held the reciever away from my ear as it was too delicate. He had never slandered my friends before, i thought.
"No," I said after the slight pause. "That slag doesn't have a bad word to say about you."
"Oh? Then what is it then?"
"I'm not in love with you."
"Pah! I know you are. How can you not be?"
I looked quizzically out of my window, "Erm...well it's true."
"Call me back when you've sobred up then."
"Ooo!" I squeaked. My temperature was rising. "I havn't drank at all tonight actually!"
"Whatever love."
"Don't use that tone with me!"
I could hear him breathe heavily. I could tell he was getting angry.
"I've spent so much money on you!" He bellowed.
"I will never forget your generosity, John."
"Saffron Harrison, on my life, stop trying to leave me!"
"I am leaving you!"
"You can't just walk all over me for this long and then break up with me!"
I took a long enhaled breath. I Knew this would be hard. But if I truely wanted to be with gerard I would have to do this.
"Look, I don't love you. I've tried and I just cant love you. We've had some lovely times together. But I have feelings for someone else ok? And I don't care if they don't care if they don't love me back because all that matters is that I can't be with you any longer. I'm sorry and I shall never forget you John. Bye."
And then I slammed the phone down so I couldn't hear his words of persuassion that I predicted were yet to come. I threw myself on the leopard printed bean bag and squeezed my heart-shaped cushion between my arms. The sound of the telephone rang throughout the flat endlessly as my tears began falling. It was all over but the crying.
Thoughts crept into my mind. Maybe I was making a mistake? John was nice, warm...safe. Gerard was unrealiable. At least with John I knew where we was heading, at least I knew we would be alright. Gerard is unpredictable. This was a huge risk to be taking. I stared at the phone wishing it would unplug itself yet answer at the same time. I felt like picking up the phone and saying sorry. I wanted to take him back and forget Gerard like I had tried to before. I walked towards the rattling phone and picked it up...