School Comes First But Where's A Future Without Him

Joe was playing with my hand. He was holding it tight in his hand. Nick and he came as soon as they found out Rachel and I were in the hospital. Ever since then, he's been sitting by my bed, staring at me intently. All he keeps saying is that he's so happy that there wasn't any further damage. He said he doesn't know what he would do without me.

Yes, at first it's really nice. So romantic and sweet and it makes you want to kiss him. But after hearing it about 20 times, it gets old. Trust me.

I haven't told him about the baby yet. I told the doctors I wanted to tell him personally, but it still hasn't come out. I know I have to tell him sometime soon, but when? When will be the right time? I don't want to startle him or anything, because of what happened with Nick and Rachel. Both their parents flipped out. But I think it's because Nick is younger.

Also, they might lose their child. They have grown to love that thing very much. They would be devastated. I don't want to get them upset if it doesn't make it. Although I would give this child to Rachel any day. I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm not ready to skip out on college just because I'm with child.

I looked at our intertwined hands, him still playing with my fingers. I loved the feeling of touching him. But it has to end soon.

"Joe?" He stopped playing with my fingers and looked at me with tired eyes. He's hardly slept at all the past few days. I feel terrible.

"I have to tell you something. But please don't be mad at me, okay?"

He smirked and said, "I'll try."

I took a deep breath before continuing. "When Rachel and I arrived in our dorm room, I was still getting sick every day. You know, the puking thing when I was home."

Joe nodded ever so slightly that I'm not even sure he did nod. "Then it went away after like, two days. After that I was tired all the time. I always wanted to sleep. I could hardly pay attention to the classes. And I wanted to eat everything."

"Where's this going?" Joe asked after I paused from talking.

"Well, I was worried I was pregnant. So Rachel took me to the store to take a pregnancy test." Joe's eyes widened. "It came out negative." Relief flooded through him and he sighed happily.

"But, when I came here, the doctors took a cat scan, and it turns out that the pregnancy test was wrong. They found a fetus growing inside of me. Joe, I'm pregnant." I braced myself for what was going to come. I thought he might yell at me for not telling him sooner about the test. But that was the total opposite of how he reacted.

His eyes just softened and locked with mine. "Alyssa, baby, why would I be mad at you? You didn't make this child on your own. It's both of our faults."

"Well, I thought you would be mad because I didn't tell you earlier about my symptoms and the test." He put his free hand on my cheek.

"No. I'm not mad. I'm not even the slightest bit upset." I smiled and he stroked my cheek. *sigh* Could this guy be any more perfect?

I snapped out of my happy thoughts when I remembered his parents. "What will your parents say?"

"Don't worry about them. I think they were more disappointed with Nick and Rachel. Those two are little goody two shoes. I, on the other hand, am always getting into trouble. Sure, they won't be happy, but they'll get over it."

I smiled at him once again and he released his hand from my cheek. He looked down at my stomach.

"Wow... I'm going to be a dad. That's so cool." He smiled. He's actually happy about this? Oh sure, maybe he is. He's not the one who has to go into labor!

Just then Denise and Paul came into the room. Paul was holding her while she cried into his chest. This can't be a good sign. Paul looked at us when his wife couldn't form any words. "The baby didn't make it."

The tears came to my eyes and were on the brim of spilling out. "I have to go see Rachel." I started pulling out needles and tubes that were stuck in me. Joe stopped me immediately.

"Alyssa, no, you have to stay here. You're still not healed properly." He tried pushing me back down on the bed as I got up.

"No. I have to see Rachel." He tried once again, but I just shoved him off me. This is the glory of being hurt. No one can pressure to do anything because they don't want to hurt you.

"Alyssa, lay back down!" Joe told me sternly.

"No!" I shouted, and walked past Paul and Denise. I noticed that I had a cast on my leg, since I wasn't walking completely straight.

"Sweetie, you really should lay back down." Denise came over to me, finally controlling her sobs.

"I'm sorry. But I have to see Rachel."

"At least let me walk with you." Joe came over to my side and put one arm around his shoulder. I winced in pain. That wasn't my good arm.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." He put down my arm gently and went to my other side. He did the same with my good arm.

We walked down the hall. Rachel was only two doors down. Not that far. We finally reached her room and Joe opened the door for me. He still had my arm around his shoulder.

We walked in, ad there was Rachel. Crying her eyes out with Nick cradling her in his arms. He too was crying. The tears escaped my eyes and flooded down my face.