Broken Hearts May Have Their Doubts

I ran away. Again, like the stupid immature fifteen year old I once was. I'm still that girl, just physically a lot more mature. In my mind, I'm still that Bliss. The one who would walk through fire for Josh Franceschi, swim oceans, take bullets for him. I clearly wasn't about to change anytime soon.

I weaved in and out of bodies, still standing around, sipping their drinks, chatting, singing along to the music being blasted from the speakers, getting them all hyped up for the bands.

Just as I was walking around a couple of over excited girls, each of them wearing a top with You Me At Six splashed across the front of it, each of them twittering on about how much they fancied Josh, or if they wanted to pinch someone's bum or something equally as stupid, the lights dimmed, disorienting me.

I carried on weaving in and out of people as the support band entered the stage to a few screams and cheers emitting from the people squished up at the front, I heard them introduce themselves as Tonight Is Goodbye and they went off into one of their songs.

A hand gently grasped around my arm and I stopped, hoping it'd be Sacha or Libby or maybe even Harmony. But I was met with the desperate gaze of Josh. His eyes were burning into my own, I had to break the eye contact or I'd kiss him right there and then. I ripped my arm roughly from his grasp, hitting someone in the back. The girl turned around to shoot me a dirty look, her eyes then found Josh and she squealed, catching the attention of many other fan girls in the surrounding area. They began asking Josh to sign their shirts and take pictures with them.

I simply shook my head at him, and took this as my cue to leave, quickly. I wove in and out of the few people, standing at the back, each of them watching the support band with their heads tilted, taking in the sound and appearance. I pushed the door open and stumbled out into the corridor. I wandered past the two burly bouncers on the door and down the steps, walking around to the front of the building and crossing the road, sitting myself on a bench outside the bus stop.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes, ruining my make up, which I'd taken the time to perfect. Hoping I'd see him and then when I did, I ran. Tears escaped my eyes and slowly ran down my cheeks, leaving tracks of grey and black. Probably not my most attractive look ever, but I guess it bets toothpaste nose.

I stared down at my feet, as I gently hit them together, making a sound in the quiet street. A bus pulled up to the stop and a man stepped off, wandering over to a nearby pub.

"Is this seat taken?"

I looked up to see Matt smiling down at me. I turned away from him, crossing my ankles over each other and folding my arms across my chest. He sat down beside me and sighed.

"Shouldn't you be straightening your hair or whatever you do before a gig?" I asked.

"Already done, Bliss, you know me, one step ahead of everything else."

"If you were one step ahead, you'd have put Libby out of her misery a long time ago and got back together the second you broke up."

He sighed. "I plan to do that tonight. But, you and Josh need to - "

"No! We don't need to do anything. If I talk to him, he's just going to say the exact same thing he said before, that he loves me but he can't do this. It's not difficult! You know, I'm sorry for wanting more from life than some shitty office job, staring at the same four walls, going crazy, wondering 'what if'. I'm sorry I went to uni and left him behind, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to get into uni at home, y'know I'm so fucking sorry!" I was hysterical now, tears streaming down my cheeks, my throat dry and stinging, I was coughing, trying to control my breaths.

"Bliss, he doesn't blame you for wanting that. He didn't expect you to sit at home twiddling your thumbs, thinking about him twenty four seven." Matt was calm when he spoke, his eyes staring into mine.

"Well thats what it seems like," I choked, placing my head in my hands. "I need him, I miss him, I want him back. I just can't let myself get hurt again."

"Bliss?"

I looked up to see Josh, Max, Dan, Chris, Sacha, Libby and Harmony all standing before me. Each of them wearing their own expression of sympathy, other than Josh who looked pained.

"I think you two need to talk," Sacha said, softly, pushing Josh forward slightly.

"No," I mumbled, shaking my head. I glanced down the road to see the bus I needed was heading this way. I stood up, stumbling towards the edge of the pavement, but Max stood in my way. "Max, move," I pleaded with him, roughly pushing him away from me and sticking my arm out. The bus stopped and I hopped on, paying my fare and sitting down, glancing out of the window, I couldn't miss the tear that dripped down Josh's cheek.