Broken Hearts May Have Their Doubts

Somewhere in between my sobbing, breathlessly re-telling the story to Polly whilst she tried to calm me down, the two of us fell asleep on the sofa. When I woke up I was no longer sprawled out, with springs digging into my back and bum, instead, I was in my own bed, the covers pulled up to my chin and I happened to be clutching Gizmo the gremlin. It had been a habit I'd picked up during my relationship with Josh. Whenever he wasn't around to hug to death, the poor gremlin got that treatment instead.

I sat up slowly, taking in my surroundings, glancing at the lilac walls, decorated with various posters ripped out of magazines, or bought specially from HMV, those were always the ones that fell down quickly, due to them spending god only knows how long rolled up in those tubes.

The tiny alarm clock that stood on my bedside table told me it was lunchtime, meaning I'd already missed the morning's lessons. I made the quick decision that I wasn't going to class today. I could spend this day, moping, and listening to Polly's stories about America.

I dragged myself out of bed, still clutching the soft toy, wandering down the short hall towards the living room. Polly was still sprawled across the sofa, her mouth open slightly, her chest rising and falling heavily. Across from her, Chris was laid across a chair. I frowned in slight confusion, but brushed it off, wandering towards the kitchen and plucking a bowl from the cupboard, pouring the last of the Coco Pops into it and drowning them in milk.

I shoveled a spoonful into my mouth, before sitting myself down at the tiny breakfast bar we had, ignoring the other presence that was sitting there with me, staring at a glass filled halfway with yellow orange juice.

"Did you sleep okay last night?" Josh's voice met my ears.

I dropped my spoon into my bowl, suddenly losing my appetite. I pushed it to the side and held my head in my hands, not wanting to look at him. "Just perfect thanks, Josh. Now answer me this, what are you doing here?"

"Everyone else came, so I did."

"Fantastic." I slipped off my stool and started back towards my room, getting ready to lock myself in and flick through the yellow pages to find the closest nunnery, until Josh gently grabbed my arm, his eyes pleading with mine.

"Let me explain, Bliss, please," he whispered.

I glanced across the room, knowing both Polly and Chris were pretending to be asleep, they were listening into our conversation, nosy sods. I sighed heavily and nodded. "But not here."

He nodded and let go of my arm, letting me walk back towards my bedroom. I left the door open behind me, throwing Gizmo down on the now unmade bed, and looking at my sorry state in the mirror. I grabbed a facial wipe and wiped off all the make up smudges and tear stains from the night before, grabbing an eyeliner stick and drawing a thin black line around my blue eyes. I dropped it on the floor, not wanting to add anymore make up to my face. He didn't deserve the effort right now.

I slipped my shoes on and walked back out to see him still sitting in the same place as before, but his once full glass was now completely drained. He looked up at me as I approached him and slipped off his stool.

The two of us left the flat and started down the corridor, a gap between us, showing the obvious distance between the two of us.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ended it like that," he blurted out, stopping abruptly and closing his eyes, cursing himself under his breath.

"Hm. Well it's in the past Josh. Like you've said to me a million and one times, don't regret what you do. Because in that moment it's what you wanted," I said, folding my arms, "nothings ever written in stone."

He looked up at me, his eyes locking with my own. I stepped back, until my back collided with the wall. Josh stepped towards me, one hand resting on the wall next to my head, his face close to mine. His breath was warm against my skin. "Then, I can't change the past, but I can change the future," he breathed, dipping his head down and kissing my lips.

It took me a moment to react, but I did, winding my fingers into his hair, as if we were going back to a few months ago, and things were all fine and dandy. But of course, this is my life we're talking about and nothing is ever fine and dandy when love is involved.

"Josh! Babe!" A shrill, yet familiar voice echoed up the empty corridor and Josh pulled away from me quickly.

I looked up at him in confusion, waiting for some sort of answer, when his gaze was fixed down the corridor. I followed his line of sight to see a girl trotting towards us. Her thick dark curls were bouncing with each step she took. She wobbled slightly in her heels, and she popped a bubble of chewing gum, that echoed off the white painted walls.

"Jenny," he plastered on an obviously false smile as she reached us, twisting her hair around her finger and shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

"Joshy, babe, where were you all last night? Henri told me you came here to catch up with some old friends or something," she said, chewing away.

"Um, yeah, we did. You remember Bliss right?" He motioned towards me.

"Bliss Bradley?" She sneered, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Jenny Darby?" I whispered, my entire world crashing down around me. Of course it was too good to be true. He was back with her. So quickly after we ended. Obviously. She was like an octopus, grabbing at boys with her slimy tentacles. I glanced up at Josh, raising my hand and slapping him hard across the cheek. "I hate you," I hissed, before pushing past him and stumbling down the corridor towards the stairs.

I needed to escape from all this drama.