Slytherin

Dumbledore’s office was the same as it was the last time she was there. The random silver objects whirring and whizzing on the shelves and other surfaces. The Sorting Hat snoring lightly from the top of the highest cabinet. The Sword of Godric Gryffindor displayed like a museum artifact in a glass case, the rubies in the hilt glinting in the ray of sunlight. Once again, my vision began to blur as another wave of tears threatened to escape from my eyes.

How could I have been so stupid? Using an Unforgivable Curse on a student…in Hogwarts! If only I had been in Gryffindor…or even Hufflepuff, none of this would’ve ever happened. If I was in Gryffindor, I would’ve met Neville sooner, and perhaps would’ve actually have been happy. I never would have changed myself into this…this monster.

I buried my face once more into my hands, curling my fingers so that they gripped my face like iron. I was disgusted with myself. I had behaved like the Slytherin I swore I would never be.

“Mr. Malfoy is alright, Ms. Hollands.” Professor Dumbledore’s voice drifted in from the doorway unexpectedly, echoing only slightly off of the stone walls. I did not look up, so he continued. “He is lying down in the hospital wing, under orders from Madame Pomfrey.”

He still did not receive a response, and resorted to silently making his way over to his chair and sitting down. Five minutes must have past, perhaps 10, I wasn’t keeping track. My attention was still focused on my thoughts, back on the scene that had happened well over an hour ago. You cannot just simply erase something like that from your mind.

“Your actions from earlier, Ms. Hollands, were horribly misjudged,” Dumbledore began, getting straight to the point. “Mr. Longbottom and Mr. Jorkins explained to me tonight’s occurrences, and I am afraid that I will have to take disciplinary action.”

Finally, I allowed my head to pull away from my hands, aware that my fingernails had left marks on the sides of my head. “You’re going to expel me, aren’t you?” I looked straight into his blue eyes, not a trace of fear in my own.

“Well,” he said thoughtfully, as if they were just discussing the weather. “The Ministry would like me to do that.” I gasped at the word Ministry. He ignored this. “They say you are too dangerous to be around the other students. Of course, I explained the situation to them, told them about how angry and upset you were, and you would never have done that in normal circumstances. They eased off slightly. Only slightly.”

He tilted his head, so that his eyes were staring at me over his half-moon spectacles. For an old man, he could be quite intimidating.

“So then what is going to happen to me?” I asked him, quiet louder than I had intended to.

“The governors of the school have decided to suspend you for the rest of this year, and next year. Your parents have already been notified and asked not to come and see you.” He didn’t sound angry. Instead, he sounded disappointed. And for some reason, that was worse than him yelling.

I groaned, and hit my forehead with my palm, squinting my eyes as if I were in pain. “And what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Come back in my 6th year and have to hang back with the fourth years?! I’m going to be behind! What’s the point of just suspending me then? Might as well expel me! At least I won’t have to catch up yet! Here, here ya go! I’ll make this easy for you!”

I was in a rampage, and with unnecessary roughness, I yanked my wand out and chucked it at the ground so red sparks shot out. Tears were pouring down my face as if it were a pipe with a leak in it.

“Here’s my wand. Take it and snap if in half. Take it!”

Dumbledore just sat there, watching me, his face casual. This made me even angrier, his airiness. He wasn’t doing anything. He wasn’t trying to stop me, or calm me down or anything. He was just staring. With a ferocious snarl, I reached down to retrieve my wand once more and shoved it into his hand, shouting “Take it! Take it!” until I slowly slid down onto my knees, crying and sobbing.

Unexpectedly, a hand reached down and started stroking my hair in a comforting manner.

“If you had just listened to me when I came to you about the Freak, then this never would’ve happened! I never would have used that spell…I would never have been hurt…”

Silence.

“What have I done, Professor?” I called out weakly, my voice distorted. “Why did I do that?”

It took a moment for him to respond.

“You did that because you were hurt by someone you thought you truly cared for,” he told me calmly. “And because of that, your fury blinded out all rational emotions. I understand why you did it, but that does not mean that I approve of it.”

Another silence past, only interrupted by my sobbing and occasional hiccup.

“You are going to have a very rough time after this, Ms. Hollands,” he informed me, voice suddenly very serious. I looked up at him. His hand still rested on my head. “People are going to be accusing you of being a dark witch. Anything that goes wrong while you’re around is going to be blamed on you.”

My eyes widened at his words. I knew he was right. “How do I stop it, Professor?”

He looked down at me, his eyes soft now. “Courage.”

There was a knock at the door, and Madame Maxime walked into the room. I stood up slowly and then returned to my seat, not looking at the great lady.

“Ah, Madame Maxime,” Dumbledore greeted, his voice light and airy once more. He offered her the seat next to mine. “I have something that I would like to discuss with you.”

The very large lady looked at Dumbledore curiously, but sat down anyways. She looked at me out of the corners of her eyes but said nothing. I was annoyed that Dumbledore had invited her here, now, at a time like this. What did he have planned?

“I would like to discuss with you the matter of admitting a student of mine into your school.”

~(*)~

Draco was the only occupant in the Hospital Wing that evening, and he was in the bed that was the farthest away from the door. Perhaps because he was trying to hide himself, not wanting people to know why and how he was there. Perhaps because it was the bed with the best window view. As I approached him, I saw that he was awake, staring at the ceiling. He seemed to be lost in thought. Even as I sat down, he didn’t say a word or move a muscle.

“Draco…” I began, my voice cracking. “I’m really sorry…about what I did. It’s just…I was so angry and upset…it was the first thing that came to my mind-”

“Don’t apologize,” he interrupted me, turning his head to look at me. “You had every right to do that. Although I would have appreciated a less severe spell. I mean, what’s wrong with Rictumsempra, hm?”

He was trying to get me to smile. I didn’t. His face turned solemn once more.

“I’m not going to press charges or anything against you, Paige,” he told me, grinning lightly. “I told my father not to do anything, and he’s backed off. I’m sure he’s convinced the Ministry to back off as well. You shouldn’t be in any trouble.”

“You’re not going to see me again, for a long time,” I told him, changing topics quickly. I wanted to make this goodbye short and sweet. I couldn’t handle any more emotions.

The blond boy’s head snapped towards my own quickly, a frown of concern in his forehead.

“They didn’t expel you, did they?” he asked. I couldn’t help but smile at his alarm. “Because if they did, my father-”

“You’re father won’t be able to do anything,” I interrupted him, still grinning. “But to answer your question, no, I’m not expelled. I’m…the governors decided to suspend me from now until my sixth year.”

“They can’t bloody do that!” Draco exclaimed, rising quickly from his bed and throwing the sheets off of him. He began stalking off towards the door, muttering about simpletons in the Ministry, when he noticed I wasn’t following behind. “Paige, come on. We are going to set this right.”

I didn’t move. It was my turn to stare off into space in thought.

“I deserve this punishment, Draco,” I told him, looking over my shoulder at him. “They were thinking about expelling me, but Dumbledore was able to reduce it to suspension. There’s nothing more you can do. I…I just came here to say goodbye.”

“What so soon?” he asked, his voice dead.

“Yes,” I said, nodding solemnly. “I’m leaving tonight. I’m transferring to Beauxbatons.”

“Beauxbatons?” he repeated incredulously. “That’s in France! Why the hell would they send you to France?”

“Why the hell did you do that to me, Draco?” I said through gritted teeth, my voice muffled. I closed my eyes and tried not to lose control again.

“I did it for you, for us!” he growled back, marching towards me, blond hair flapping in the air. “It’s every girl’s dream to be saved from some bad guy. So that’s what I did.”

“Yeah, but only if the bad guy wasn’t being paid by the good guy you moron!” I retorted. “That makes the good guy the bad guy as well. What is wrong with you?”

“You know what?” he said suddenly, pulling in his lips. “Screw this. You are not leaving me like this.”

Without another word, he charged forward at me. At first, I thought he was going to hit me and I started to be back away, that is, until he grabbed me behind my neck and crashed his lips onto mine. No. I was still angry at him for what he did. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t budge. Slowly my anger seeped away and instead, I returned his kiss, which became more passionate by the second. After a few minutes, we pulled away to breath and he placed his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry, Paige,” he whispered, eyes closed tightly shut as if trying to pretend this was all a bad dream. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to go this far.”

I snorted. “Of course you didn’t,” I told him, wanting to cry again but feeling as if my tear ducts had gone dry. “You never intended me to find out at all.”

He didn’t respond, and so we just stood there, arms around each other and foreheads pressed together. This would be the last time in a long time that we would be together like this, and we both knew that we had to make it as memorable as possible.

“I should go,” I said suddenly, taking a breath and stepping back.

“Stay with me,” he told me, reaching out for me once more. “Until you leave.”

I chuckled at him, but shook my head. “I still need to pack. And then I have one more person that I need to say goodbye to.”

Draco nodded his head, but still didn’t look happy about it. “I’m sure Longbottom’s wandering around somewhere.”

I grinned at him and gave him one last peck on the lips. His grey eyes looked into mine and everything that wasn’t said was all there, among the swirls of grey. I walked past him and made my way out into the hallway, towards the Grand Staircase, to start my quest for Neville.

~(*)~

Neville was sitting at the top of the stairs, just before the Grand Staircase. His hands were resting on his knees and he was staring at his feet. He was still in his dress robes. He turned at the sound of my approaching footsteps and then quickly stood up. He didn’t look happy or relieved to see me.

“I thought they had expelled you,” he told me, grimacing. “That they had already taken you away.”

“I’m not expelled Neville,” I began to tell him, smiling in hopes of lightening the mood. He looked at me incredulously.

“But, you used the Cruciatus Curse!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, but Dumbledore explained the situation to the governors, and they lessened the punishment,” I explained to him, wondering why he didn’t appear happy to hear this news. “So I’m just suspended until my 6th year.”

“No…that’s…that’s not right,” he began turning away from me, his hands shaking. “You still did it, Paige. You hurt somebody. Do you know how much damage you could’ve done?”

“But, but you know what he did to me right?” I asked him, licking my lips and brushing a few stray hairs out of my eyes. “I was just angry and upset. And Draco’s ok, he’s not hurt. Dumbledore told me so himself.”

“Do you know how much damage you could’ve done…” he repeated, as if he didn’t hear me, taking a few steps down the stairs.

I couldn’t believe that Neville was getting so upset about this. Neville always accepted me, no matter what I did. He was always there for me when I was hurt and needed comforting. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t right.

“Neville what’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, walking down closer to him. As I approached he whipped around and put his hands up.

“No, stay away from me!” he yelled, and ran past me up the stairs.

“Neville!” I called out, alarmed. I had never seen him behave this way, never. It was as if he had suddenly…snapped. “Neville!”

As he reached the top, he stopped and turned around and looked at me, repulsion in his eyes. That look stung me.

“You are just as bad as she is,” he told me darkly, and then disappeared amongst the changing staircases.

I was dumbfounded. Who was he talking about, and why was he so upset? I knew why I did it…why didn’t he understand?

Feeling lower than I ever had before, I trudged all the way down to the dungeons and to the Slytherin common room. It was completely empty; everyone was either at home for Christmas or still down at the Yule Ball, and I was thankful for that. Slowly I began to pack my things into my trunk. Madame Maxime would be taking me to Beauxbatons personally, tonight. She would be returning as soon as I was dropped off. My trunk was soon packed, and I had changed into normal muggle clothes. I sat down and stared at the green-tinted wall, wondering what school was going to be like without me, when the door opened and Pansy walked in, looking rather disgruntled.

“I’m supposed to find you, Paige,” she told me, annoyed. “Madame Maxime’s waiting for you. Hey, are you leaving? What’s going on?”

I ignored her and grabbed my trunk, walking right past her. She followed behind me closely, and continued to pester me with questions.

I was definitely not going to miss her.