Status: Chapter 14 is here!

Slytherin

Confessions

Boarding the Hogwart’s Express was not the cheerful, happy event that it usually was. The atmosphere was different this time around; darker, more depressing. Where parents would hug and kiss and wave to their children as they boarded the train, there was a quick hug and then they were forced onto the train. There weren’t happy smiles, or parents crying. Instead, there were grim faces and cautious body movements. Nobody lingered for longer than a few minutes. Parents waited for the train to leave, but as soon as it had gone, they would be, too.

I stepped out of my parent’s car quietly and closed the door behind me. My parents loitered at the station for a few seconds, in which there was only silence. I didn’t turn around and smile at them or wave or anything of the sort, and I knew without looking that they weren’t either. I just stood where I was, staring ahead at King’s Cross Station. Eventually, my father got out of the car and opened the trunk. He disappeared into the busy train station and returned seconds later with a trolley. Neither of us looked nor said a word to the other. Silently, he loaded my trunk and other belongings onto the trolley, and returned to the car. I heard the car pull away and after only another brief moment of standing there, I made my way over to Platform 9¾.

Before I knew it, the barrier was there before me, and instead of pausing, and then charging at the entrance, I simply walked through it at my own, even pace. The platform was busy, as usual, but not the same. I placed all my belongings minus my trunk at the back of the train, where the conductor was loading them on board. Then I turned on my heel and boarded the train, ignoring the whispering that was following behind me.

I wasn’t surprised by the looks of surprise and the quiet gossip that was being spread around me; in fact, I was expecting it. Well, I had used an Unforgivable Curse on a student and then disappeared entirely from the school. The only ones who knew of my whereabouts were Professor Dumbledore, my parents, Draco, and Neville. I was sure that there were many rumors about me being sent to Azkaban. But at that moment, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. I was to finish my last two years of school, and then get the hell out of here. If it were up to me, I would have ran away a long time ago, escaped out into the country side, but I knew I had to finish school. It would be near impossible trying to find a job if I hadn’t graduated, and if I was going to be on my own, I needed all the money I could get.

My insides felt empty and my eyes heavy as I walked down the hall of the Hogwart’s Express, trying to find an empty compartment to myself.

“Paige?” a familiar, yet terribly annoying, voice cried out from behind me. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to look at my pursuer. Pansy Parkinson’s head was sticking out from one of the compartments. She clapped a hand to her mouth and stared at me in disbelief. “Oh my God! It’s been so long! Come join us, and tell us where the hell you’ve been.”

I stared at her emotionlessly for a moment.

“Paige…you…you look awful,” she said, not sounding worried at all. She wrinkled her nose at me. Someone pulled on her robes and she ducked her head back inside shouting, “Hey, shut up, I’m allowed to invite anyone I want in here, ok?”

By the time her head had reappeared, I had already turned around and was marching away, her voice calling out after me. I blocked her out the best I could.

I was like a mindless zombie roaming the hallway, and people were staring at me as if I were one. Eventually, I heard a familiar voice, and stopped dead in my tracks. Turning my head to the side, I saw a compartment filled with two well-known Gryffindors. Harry Potter was sitting next to Neville Longbottom, and across from a girl I did not recognized. She was blond, but that was all I could tell; her face was concealed by some magazine. Suddenly Harry stopped talking and looked at me through the glass window, surprised. His head was followed by Neville’s, and as soon as we made eye contact, he turned away and was concentrating very hard on the floor. I felt my lip quiver and knew that I needed to get out of there fast. Harry lifted a hand to wave and his mouth began to turn up into a smile, but I took no notice. I fled down the corridor, knocking people out of my way.

The only compartment I found that was nearly empty was occupied by two very small boys that appeared to be brothers; they had very similar, almost mouse-like features. I pulled open the door and without asking for permission to join them, I took a seat down on the right side, as far away from the older brother as I could possibly go.

There was an awkward silence, and the boys exchanged glances.

“Oh my God! Dennis, Dennis do you know who that is?” the older boy “whispered” to his brother, Dennis, I assumed. “That’s Paige Hollands! Paige Hollands! You know, the girl who disappeared last year?”

“Oh oh oh oh!” Dennis squeaked excitedly, jumping up and down in his seat, and I knew that I had chosen the wrong compartment. I debated in my head whether or not this was worse than being in the same compartment as Neville. “The one who used the Cruciatus Curse on Draco Malfoy?”

“Yeah!” the first boy exclaimed as if this were the most exciting news ever. “Hey, hey Paige! My name is Collin Creevey! This is my brother, Dennis! We’re in Gryffindor.”

The introduction was met with silence, but neither of the boys seemed put off by it; in fact, it seemed to encourage them.

“You are so cool, do you know that?” Collin continued. “I mean, you beat up Draco Malfoy! Draco Malfoy!

“You’re a legend,” Dennis concluded. “So were you in Azkaban-”

But before he could finish his question, I had pulled my wand up and walked up to him, pointing it at his throat. His face paled and his eyes were both staring directly at my wand.

“Say another word,” I began, my voice shaky and cracking from its lack of use. “Or I will use a spell that will cause your intestines to be forcibly and painfully removed from your body.”

When there was only silence that met my threat, I slowly backed away and returned to my seat, staring straight ahead as if nothing had just happened. After that there was only the blessed sound of the train rocketing along the tracks and the murmur of students in the neighboring compartments. That is, until…

“Whoa! Dennis, she just threatened you!” Collin exclaimed, his voice rising in pitch.

“I know Collin!” the other brother exclaimed, eyes wide with wonder. His head whipped toward his brother and he began poking him like crazy. “Quick, quick Collin! Get your camera out! I want to remember this moment! Do you think she would be willing to take a picture with me?”

“No she would not!” I snarled, but before I could pull my wand out for a second time, a third year girl opened the door.

“Paige Hollands?” she asked breathlessly, as if she had been running up and down the corridors in search of me.

I raised my eyebrows at her. I didn’t know this girl, what did she want with me? The girl handed over a rolled up slip of parchment to me, and then took off into the hallway.

“What is it?” Dennis asked, taking the seat next to me. I turned and glared at him, but curious to find out what this was about, I unrolled the parchment and read it silently to myself.

Ms. Hollands,
I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C.
Sincerely,
Professor H.E.F. Slughorn


There suddenly was a flash that lit up the entire compartment, and with blinking eyes I looked around to see what the source was; Collin had found his camera.

“Aw, Collin!” Dennis whined, glaring at his older brother. “We weren’t even looking!”

“Who the hell is Professor Slughorn?” I asked, ignoring the bickering brothers. I looked questioningly at them, but both shrugged.

“Before you go, could you just pose with me?” Dennis asked, eager and full of expectation.

I looked at him in incredulously, and then pushed him back down onto the seat. As I left the room, I could hear them shouting behind me, “Did you get a picture of that?!” “No, I didn’t know she was going to do that! You are so lucky Dennis!” I just shook my head in disbelief.

I dread going through the halls; there were students everywhere, trying to find their friends, stretching their legs, or searching for the lunch trolley. I had to squeeze my way past all of them, and of course people stopped to stare at me or turn to their friend and say something. Now I knew what Harry Potter felt like.

Opening the door to compartment C, I found that I was not the only one that was invited; in fact, the compartment was packed with other students, some I recognized, and some I didn’t. But there were two boys that I was hoping I would not be seeing anytime soon.

“Ah, Ms. Hollands!” a very large man with a moustache resembling the tusks of a walrus exclaimed, attempting to stand up, but found himself too tightly packed in his seat to do so. He resorted to just waving his hand in greeting. “Welcome, I am so glad that you could join us!”

I glanced at him briefly, but my focus remained with Neville. He was avoiding my gaze.

“I’m just going to give a brief introduction,” Slughorn announced, his voice light and airy. “There’s Blaise Zabini, from your house. Cormac McLaggen, Gryffindor, but in your year. Marcus Belby, and then Ms. Ginny Weasley.” Ginny poked her red head out from behind Slughorn, just to see who had entered. The rest of the room nodded their heads in greeting, save Neville. “Ms. Belby, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind taking a seat on the ground to make room for our lovely new guest.”

Belby, who had just been gnawing on a pheasant leg, looked up questioningly at Slughorn, but sat on the ground anyway. I immediately took his seat, happy to see that my view of Neville was going to be obstructed by the others.

Slughorn went around the room, interviewing each student. It seemed as if the only thing this group of people had in common was the fact that they had known or were related to somebody well-known or influential.

“Now Mr. Longbottom,” Slughorn began, turning his focus over to Neville, who looked quite nervous. I perked up at this. “Your parents were amazing aurors, and amazing people. Yes, I taught them myself, back in the day. Extraordinary wizards. Your mother had a talent for potions, yes she did. How are they? Still in St. Mungo’s?”

Slughorn’s question was met with a cold nod from Neville. It was clear that he did not want to talk about it, so Slughorn moved on to the next student; me. But I wasn’t ready. I wanted to know what happened to Neville’s parents. He had never mentioned a word of his parents to me the entire time that we had been friends.

“Ms. Hollands,” Slughorn began, smiling at me. I didn’t smile back. “After Ludo Bagman resigned, your father took over the post of head of the Department of Magical and Sports. Yes, your father always had promising talent at school, back when I taught him. Haven’t kept much contact with him, but now that I am teaching his daughter, we’ll have much to talk about.”

And so the rest of the afternoon went on like that; although much of the attention was forced onto Harry, who looked uncomfortable and annoyed. I didn’t blame him; I would much rather be stuck back in the compartment with Collin and Dennis. Eventually the train pulled up into Hogsmeade station.

“Good gracious, it’s getting dark already! I didn’t notice they’d lit the lamps! You’d better go and change into your robes, all of you. McLaggen, you must drop by and borrow that book on nogtails. Harry, Blaise – any time you’re passing. Same goes for you two, Miss Hollands and Miss Weasley,” he twinkled at Ginny and me. “Well, off you go, off you go!”*

And so we were dismissed. Quickly, everybody stood up and began to exit the cramped compartment. It was obvious that nobody wanted to linger there any longer. I sat where I was for a moment, and after the room was cleared out, I followed suit. Neville and Harry were just ahead of me. He was so close to me, just within my reach, but I was too afraid to do anything. I didn’t know how Neville was going to react. Would he ignore me? Would he yell at me again, in that same disappointing and angry tone? I didn’t think I could bare that, not again, not after all this time. So, I let him go.

I continued to walk forward, with my eyes cast at the ground. I really didn’t care anymore. I just needed to put my robes on and get off this train. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize there was someone standing in front of me…until I ran into them.

“Sorry,” I murmured, glancing up into their face. I was ready to just move on and walk away when I saw that it was Neville. He seemed so stunned to see me that he didn’t flee, didn’t run away. My heart skipped a beat, and I struggled to find the words to say to him. “Neville…weren’t…weren’t you just with Harry?”

I was trying to initiate conversation with him. It was what I wanted, what I needed, and I knew that it was a long shot. He just seemed to stare at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of eagerness and apprehension, but then he snapped out of it.

“Oh um…he had to…he had to leave,” Neville answered quietly, and then turned on his heel to leave. Not wanting to miss this chance, not after having a taste of him back in my life, I grabbed onto his shoulder and yanked him back.

“Tell me what’s wrong Neville,” I asked him, feeling my lip tremble once more. “You never responded to any of my letters. You act as if you hate me. You won’t tell me what I did. Please, just tell me what I did wrong!”

The entire time, he was avoiding my eyes, and it was heartbreaking to me.

“I just want to know,” I whispered, defeated. My arms dropped to my sides as I let him go, allowing him to walk away from me. Students were already beginning to emerge from their compartments, and I wasn’t even dressed yet. “I love you, Neville.”

I raised my head up once more, to find that I was alone. He did not hear my confession. And it was possible that he never would.
♠ ♠ ♠
A/N: So guys, what did you think? I really really enjoyed writing this one. I know I say that a lot, but when I began this, everything started flowing out naturally. Can you feel the hopelessness with Paigey?

I am LOVING the response I got from that last chapter! Well, I think it was mostly because of how I got to interview Matthew Lewis, but I don’t care. I got reviews (almost at 100! Keep em coming guys!) and that’s all that matters.

Well, I met Tom Felton, but I did not get to interview him like some people thought I would. No, he just came to a nearby movie theater and was signing autographs for fans. I talked to him for a whole 2 seconds, and then it was over. Really sad.

Leave a review! ^_^

And here’s the link of the picture with me and Tom Felton. It won’t let me post the full link, so I have to adjust it as best as I can.

http://tinseltown-photo.smugmug.com/Celebrity-Events/Tom-Felton-Harry-Potter-and/18177773_KX3VN2#1396485248_d9rMT4r-A-LB

Oh and the * means that I took that from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which I do not own, because J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers own it.