I Love You, Is That So Wrong? Unfortunately, Yes

“Stuff I want to know about him.”

“What do you want to know about him?”

“You think about that… oh! Ask him if he has a girlfriend! Yeah…”

“Why couldn’t it be Gerard instead? I’m already doing a lot of favors for you, you know.”

“Because asking Gee to bring me and the girls along while you guys are touring is already something big, that’s why I’m asking you small favors until it sums up to what Gee did for us… understand now… Michael?”

“Don’t call me by my real name, please.”

“All right, well, will you do it for me please?”

“Why can’t you ask him yourself?” with that she gave me a harder hit on the arm that actually hurt.

“Are you stupid Mikey?! If I do that it’ll be too obvious that I like him.”

“But if I ask him then he’ll think I like him too.”

“That’ll never happen, Ryan’s straight and you know it, plus Gerard will get all obsessive over you if he finds out he isn’t the only gay brother in this tour, except for you, which goes back to my first question, did you and Gerard do anything last night?”

“You’re not going to tell anyone right?”

“Of course I won’t, no matter how much I’d want to tell the other girls and see Nadine and Mikee squeal the hell out of themselves, I won’t.” I thought about telling her or not first, still a little unsure even though I could guarantee Anna’s trust.

“I still think we need to talk this over with Gee.” I tell her.

“Ugh! Just admit that you had sex with him last night already!” Anna said in a loud and annoyed way, I elbow her on the shoulder and give her a warning look. Fortunately, no one was within our hearing range at the moment. “Sorry…” she said, I sigh.

“It’s all right… okay so maybe I did.”

“Maybe?”

“Okay we did.”

“Haha… I knew it…” Anna said, not helping a smile growing on her face. A few moments of silence, and then she started squealing.

“Knew you’d do that.” I told her.

The two of us reach the lobby to see everyone there, we were the last two people to have arrived, and everyone had hungry looks on their faces.

“Where were you two?” Nadine asks.

“Hmm… were you guys doing something?” Frankie asks.

“What something?” I ask him.

“You know… something…” Frankie said again with a smirk, it was then that we got the message that he was emphasizing a green joke. Causing his cousin to hit him on the head.

“Frankie! Don’t be dirty-minded!” she scolded.

“Well we were taking the stairs; you can’t imagine us to get down here as fast as you elevator people.” Anna said.

“True, that’s why I got here before they did.” Abi said.

“Even Ryan was the 3rd to the last to arrive.” Brendon said.

“I took the stairs too.” Ryan said.

“What’re you three? Elevator-phobic or something?” Jon asked, the three of us exchanged glances and turned back to the one who asked the question.

“Yeah.”

Gerard’s POV:

That evening we all got on separate buses with the girls, of course, riding with us.

“Why did you two go with Panic?” I ask Abi and Anna, who look at each other and glare give me raised eyebrows.

“Why?” they asked.

“I dunno… coz Brendon/ and Ryan are there?” I say teasingly, causing for them to blush a bit but hide it with a glare.

“Shut up Gee!” they said at the same time.

“Gerard, stop teasing them.” Ray said.

“I’m bored Ray-ray…” I said. Ray glares at me but Mikee smiles and giggles.

“Don’t call me that name.” he said.

“Why not? You don’t mind if I call you Ray-ray… Ray-ray…” Mikee said.

“That’s because you’re my cousin.”

“Don’t we have our own free will to call you Ray-ray or not?” I said.

“Gerard, shut up.” Ray hissed.

“I won’t shut up, because I’m bored.”

“Then do something.”

“What something?”

“Just… something…”

“I won’t do anything if you won’t tell me what something I can do!”

“Gaaaah! Just shut up and rest your voice for the performance dammit!” Ray yelled in an annoyed way, which was enough to make me shut up.

“It’s cool when Ray’s pissed…” Nadine whispered to Bob, whom she was sharing the iPod earphones with.

“You think?” Bob whispered back, Mikee sighed, already used to Ray when he gets mad.

“Hey, we’re almost there.” Frankie pointed out after not saying so much since he was practicing on his guitar.

The performance went along smoothly, with the crowd of My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco fans screaming their asses off every time either of us start a new song. The girls were asked to just chill backstage and enjoy the show with a long table full of free food. It was our last song and the audience just sang along as we played Cancer. After that we did our usual goodbye remarks, saying that they were such a great crowd and blah, blah, blah.

After which both us and Panic went backstage together to check on the girls and tell them that England was done and it was time to go back to the hotel to pack up and head to Spain first thing in the morning.

“Hey girls! So what did you guys think huh?” I say, feeling energized despite that I had sang my heart out at this performance again. Strangely, the girls were quiet and probably crowding over someone. “Girls?” I said, making voice a little louder so we could get their attention. Nadine catches the sound of my voice as she looks up from who everyone else was crowding over. Her eyes pass mine and immediately spots Bob.

“Bob!” she says as she exits from her spot, revealing a crying Abi sitting on a chair, being comforted by the quiet Mikee and Anna. After seeing that, most of the guys had went over to her to give their share in comforting… and curious to why she’s crying. I stay behind a bit and turn to Nadine and Bob to join in their conversation before it started.

“What happened?” I ask.

“We were just about to get to that, Nadine what’s wrong with Abi?” Bob asks, Nadine takes a deep breath and prepares for what she has to say.

“Bob, Abi just got a phone call while you guys were playing Cancer, it was from your brother/Abi’s dad.” she said.

“Yeah… what about him?” Bob asks.

“What does this have to do with Cancer?” I ask.

“Well it doesn’t necessarily revolve around him but it involves him since… um… you remember you’re other niece… Abi’s kid sister… Therese?” Nadine said, we nod to motion her into continuing. She sighs a deep sigh again and sniffs to prevent her own tears from coming. “She died… of unattended cancer of the brain…” she said. I was completely speechless and I turn to Bob to see his own expression.

“Oh God… please tell me you’re just acting…” he says, not believing a word Nadine had just said.

“Only a real emotionless and stupid person would make jokes in this situation, I don’t think even Frankie would dare make a corny joke right now.” Nadine said.

“Oh fuck…” Bob said, running a hand through his hair.

“They said that she was dead on arrival… I’m so sorry Bob…” Nadine said.

“Where’s Abi?” Bob said, turning his attention to the fact of where his niece is. Spotting her in the middle of the crowd, holding on the nearest person next to her who was Brendon, who was obliged to lend a shoulder to cry on for her. As Bob made his way through the crowd Nadine and I followed after him.

“… shh… Abi… don’t cry…” Brendon whispered gently as he held Abi in a comforting way, she didn’t say anything but just cried silently.

“Abi?” Bob said, getting his niece’s attention. Immediately Abi looked up to her uncle and pulled herself away from Brendon’s hold as she was now being hugged by her uncle.

“Bob… Therese…” she croaked out.

“Yeah… I heard…” Bob said, his voice sounding like he was about to cry himself as he patted Abi on the back as she started to cry hard again.

“I don’t know why… she always looked like there was nothing wrong with her… and she was only 5…”

“Abi…”

“I got mad at her before you fetched me and we went on tour… just over the fact that she ruined the painting I was going to sell… it was a stupid argument… I should’ve apologized to her…”

“Abi… if you’re going to regret then it’ll only make things worse…” right at this moment small tears were coming from Bob’s green-contact eyes.

“Even though she acted bratty… she was still my sister and… I just can’t believe that she’s gone now…” Abi said, gripping Bob’s shirt tighter when she mentioned her sister’s passing. All we could do was just sit and watch, not knowing exactly what to say.

“Shh… Abi there’s not much we could do for Therese… I know this is a repeated line but… she’s in a better place now… crying isn’t going to bring her back… I’m sorry… you have to let go Abi…” Bob said, Abi pulled away a while and wiped away her tears.

“Is there a chance we could go back to Chicago just to see her wake? Or go to her funeral?” she asks, Bob sadly shakes his head. “Could we at least… offer her a prayer?” at this he nods. The two motion for the rest of us to form a circle and we all offered our own individual prayers for Abi’s younger sister.

The ride to the hotel was quieter than usual after what had just happened we were all afraid to open our mouths because we might say something wrong and Abi might just start crying again. Even the usually noisy Frankie and hyperactive Mikee were quiet… it did not suit them at all. Nadine was sitting next to Bob, probably feeling a little uncomfortable and unsure of what to do like everyone else was feeling.

“Why’s everyone so quiet?” Bob said suddenly, making us look up.

“This is… odd… it’s usually very noisy…” Abi said.

“Um… uh… we were just…” I started, but didn’t actually know what I was saying myself.

“You guys scared that you might say some things that’ll hurt us again?” Abi asked.

“Yeah.” I answered quickly. Bob and Abi exchanged glances and small smiles appeared on their faces.

“Look guys, just because we’re like this doesn’t mean you have to be emo too.” Abi said.

“Yeah, I know it’s hard trying to fix your words when you just heard news about… those kinds of things… but its okay actually, it’s okay if you guys could be tactless.” Bob said.

“It’s understandable; we’re not those kinds of people who get angry at other people who’re enjoying while someone just passed.” Abi said, silence.

“Are you guys really sure?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, so be as noisy as you guys usually are, it might help lighten our moods a bit.” Bob said.

“Okay then… uh… eh!” Mikee said, poking a random person who was Mikey.

“What?” Mikey asked.

“That was just a random movement, don’t mind it, oho! I’m poking someone with the same name as I do!” Mikee said, continuing to poke my brother, people in the room stifled laughs at how random Ray’s cousin could get.

“Okay… that was pretty… random… I like marijuana.” Nadine said.

“You do?” Frankie asked eyes wide.

“No, that was just random.” Nadine said.

“You like marijuana I like cocaine.” Mikee said.

“Marijuana’s better.”

“Cocaine is… because it sounds like coke… hehe…”

“Marijuana’s cheaper.”

“That only means cocaine’s better because it’s more expensive.”

“No it doesn’t!”

“Yes it does!”

(O.o the randomness of it all…)