I Love You, Is That So Wrong? Unfortunately, Yes

I made sure the speakers were at full volume before I place in our own CD, I choose what I thought was our loudest album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. I stay some distance away from the speakers with the remote in my hands so I won’t go deaf, I turn to the song ‘I’m Not Okay’ and press play.

If the speakers were loud enough to have reached the house next door, then it worked perfectly as I had planned. I press the stop button and everyone was checking if their ears were bleeding, no longer fighting each other. Now I hope my ears aren’t bleeding.

Gerard’s POV:

DAMN IT!

WHY THE FUCK DID MIKEY PUT THE MUSIC TOO LOUD?!

Ah… my ears… I think I’m deaf…

“Okay, now that I have everyone’s attention, who wants pizza?” Mikey asks, as if he didn’t just try to make everyone in this room deaf.

“You try to make us deaf and now you’re asking if we want pizza?!” Anna snapped.

“Hey! Don’t drag my brother into this!” I say to her threateningly.

“You have no right to threaten me!”

“Would you two just stop it?!” Mikey shouted at both of us, which was enough to shut me up. I couldn’t stand it if my brother was mad at me, I just didn’t see him as an angry person. “I try to get you guys to stop fighting and you just end up fighting more! Look if everyone’s going to fight each other and not listen to me then I’ll just be in my room.” he said, throwing the remote on the couch as he ran out the living room and went up the stairs. It didn’t take long to let all that he said sink in.

“Mikey?” I say as I get out of the living room and try to follow him to his room, unfortunately as soon I get there he slams the door at my face. “Hey Mikey, open up, it’s me, Gerard.” I knock at the door to try and get my upset brother’s attention, but he doesn’t answer the door.

Mikey’s POV:

Gerard’s at the door…

But I just don’t feel like opening up.

Everyone else is too busy with their own business to listen to me for once. It pisses me off.

“No one ever listens to me…” I say to myself.

“I do.” I jump when I hear someone else in my room, it was only Gerard.

“How did you get in here?” I ask him, he then pulled out the keys to every room in the house, including mine.

“Mikey I know you’re probably pissed at all of us right now, we’re sorry.” he said with a sincere look in his eyes, I sit up and move a little so my brother could sit down on the bed. He does this thing when I’m pissed when he puts his arm around me and pulls me closer into some kind of hug, he’s doing it now. Suddenly I feel more… relaxed.

Gerard always manages to know what to do depending on the mood I am in, is this some kind of brother’s instinct? Or does he…

No, that’ll never happen. Man these dreams are really getting into me, I should learn that my brother would only like me as a brother… and nothing else.

Why does this have to hurt so much?

Gerard’s POV:

As we both sit there in silence with me holding him as a close as I wanted, usually when he was pissed I’d just hold him this way until he gets his thoughts straightened out and calms down. But then I feel that there’s something going on in his mind that’s eating him alive, no, not literally. He just doesn’t get pissed that easily and nowadays he’s been in bad mood mode.

Why can’t he just tell me what’s wrong? I’m his brother; I’ll always be there for him.

“Mikey, is something bothering you?” I ask to get his attention, Mikey looks up to me as if I’d just snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Um… no, it’s nothing.” he said, looking back at the wall. That didn’t satisfy my answer.

“Mikey, you do know that I’ll always be there for you right?”

“Yeah…”

“Brother’s stick together right?”

“… yeah… brothers…” at this I hear that his tone of voice doesn’t sound very happy. Mikey just tell me what’s wrong, you’re worrying the shit outta me.

“You’re hiding something from me.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“If you’re not hiding anything from me then how come you’re being so defensive?”

“… I’ll just tell you some other time.”

“How come you won’t just tell me now? Mikey…” I make him look up to me so I could see what he’s probably thinking in those hazel colored eyes of his. They’re almost like mine, except more beautiful. “Don’t make me worry.” I say as I, without thinking, lean in closer to him, intending to actually kiss him. I stop suddenly when I think about what I’m doing, my lips were just inches away from his and I could feel him breathing on me.

I want him, I love him, but it’s just not right.

Mikey’s POV:

He stopped.

And he was just about to kiss me… I could tell.

But why did he stop?

“Gerard…” I say in a whisper.

“Yes Mikey?” Gerard said. He was so close to me now. It was now or never that I tell him, it seems it’s safe to tell him now because now I know that he likes me back. I had already felt how warm his lips were indirectly, now I want to feel them on mine right at this moment. I lean forward, only to find that I had surprised Gerard since he leaned back a little. I stop too, now I’m not looking directly into his eyes but now became interested in the floor.

“I’ll… tell you what’s wrong with me…” I tell him.

“Then tell me.” he said. Now I’m looking up to him again, both our eyes met. It was now or never that I tell him and prove that the dreams I’ve been having were just a bunch of crap, no, not crap, shit (which is the same). Just as I open my mouth to tell him.

“I—“

Just then the door bursts open, looks like Gerard forgot to lock the door.

Damn.

“Mikey, Gerard, I’m sorry for what I said back there—what’re you guys doing?” it was Anna, probably saying sorry about fighting Gerard and yelling at me. But did she have to come at this time? And she saw us in this position too. Instinctively Gerard and I pulled farther away from each other and act as if we hadn’t just tried to kiss each other.

“Nothing.” Gerard said as he got up from the bed and made his way to the door.

“That didn’t look like nothing to me.” Anna pointed out.

“Look Anna, you’re forgiven, now let’s go down and order some pizza.” Gerard said, patting her on the shoulder, ignoring what she had just said. “Come on Mikey.” he said, calling out to me.

Of course I get off the bed and go downstairs with Gerard and Anna, when we got to the living room it seemed that the guys were watching something on Channel [V]. The girls were all in another part of the living room with some anime stuff with them like mangas and some bond papers with things printed on it, I think it was something called fanfictions.

“I’ll order the pizza, you guys just go and socialize or whatever.” Gerard said, so Anna and I went into the living room and went with our own gender group. But then the guys and I got bored so we thought of socializing with the girls, that was when Gerard came into the living room and joined us.

“What do you think Gerard, should we go and socialize with them?” Frankie asked.

“Well, you guys did invite them, I think we should.” Gerard said.

“It’s not like you guys are still fighting right?” I say.

“Yeah but all they talk about is that anime crap…” Bob said.

“Especially my cousin, she’s always spending her time with all those fanfictions of hers and her DVDs and manga… it’s like she has her own planet full of anime… and it’s scary…” Ray said.

“Hey, anime isn’t that bad.” I tell him, I also liked watching some anime, and I don’t see what’s so wrong with that.

“Mikey’s probably right you guys, plus maybe we could have a chance to hit on them.” Frankie suggested.

“You want us to hit on our own cousins and niece (in Bob’s case)?” Ray said as he pulled a disgusted look.

“Huh? No! That’s not what I meant! What do you think I am? An incest-person?” Frankie said. This gave me an uncomfortable feeling when he said that, me who likes my own brother.

“Don’t you think us hitting on them now is a little too fast?” Bob said.

“Okay then we won’t hit on them; it was just a suggestion anyway.” Frankie said.

“Yeah, it’s not like you guys would give your cousins and niece up that easily, right?” Gerard said, the three of the guys exchanged glances and then suddenly someone turned on their ‘overprotective older cousin/uncle’ mode.

“Hurt my cousin and you guys are dead.” Frankie threatened.

“You say that now, but you’ll be dead first if I see my niece crying because of you guys.” Bob said.

“Don’t touch my cousin if you’re going to hurt her.” Ray said. Gerard and I exchanged weird looks. Man, even we’re not that overprotective of each other, but then we are guys and they are girls so… yeah.

“You know, we heard everything you guys said.” we heard Nadine say, we turn our heads to see that since we were so busy with our conversation that they were just sitting a small distance away from us, within their hearing range.

“Haha, you guys were caught talking about us.” Anna said.

“I never knew you were that overprotective Bob.” Abi said with a smirk.

“Heheh… Ray-ray actually cares…” Mikee said as she couldn’t help but smile.

“Everyone say ‘aw’ in a prolonging way.” Nadine said.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww…” the girls said, Gerard and I laugh a bit at their action. When I turn to the three guys it seems that they weren’t so used to threatening other guys about their cousins and niece in front of them, I think I saw them turn a little pink in the cheeks. Aw… they’re embarrassed… ahem… sorry… couldn’t help it…

Gerard’s POV:

Aw… Ray, Frankie and Bob are blushing…

I guess in front of their cousins and niece they act like they don’t care about them at all.

But then they do care about them. Aw… must be nice to have cousins like them.

Not that I don’t have any.

But then I got Mikey, who’s the most important person to me at this moment.

He just doesn’t know I think that way of him… or does he? Back in his room he was just about to say something to me when Anna came in the room and saw us, I still can’t believe I really tried to kiss him at that moment.

Damn, I should remember to lock the door next time.

Ding dong.

“The pizza’s here! Yay!” I say as I get up from where I was sitting and went out the living room to get the pizza that I ordered.

Mikey’s POV:

It’s strange how Gerard always gets excited over pizza.

“We’re going to eat now?” Abi asked.

“Yeah, is something wrong with that?” I ask her.

“No, I think it’s just too early for dinner.” she said, pointing out the fact that it was still kinda bright outside.

“We’re going to have an early dinner, so we could do stuff all day!” Frankie said smiling.

“Stuff like?” Nadine asked.

“You know, stuff you do at a sleepover?” Frankie answered.

“Truth or dare?” Abi said.

“Pillow fights?s” Anna said.

“Gossip?” Nadine said.

“Watch anime DVDs?” Mikee said, us guys exchanged looks and raised eyebrows at the girls.

“What? Those are things we do at sleepovers.” the girls chorused.

“Those are all girl stuff… well maybe except for that anime thing… but still, this is a guy’s house, and we’ll do guy stuff.” Ray said.

“Aw, unfair!” Mikee said, pouting.

“What do you guys do at sleepovers?” Anna asked.

“Uh… I don’t know… a lot of stuff…” Bob said.

“My personal favorite is the paint ball wars.” I tell them.

“Paint ball wars?” Abi said.

“Oh! I know that! It’s when we divide into groups and throw paintballs at each other right?” Nadine asked.

“That’s right, it’s a very ‘colorful’ and fun game, you girls will like it.” Bob said.

“Ugh… I hate that game…” Ray muttered.

“Hehe… I know why, is it because they keep on throwing paint on your hair?” Mikee said.

“It’s hard to get it off you know! Last time Frankie and Mikey hit me with green and yellow paintballs and made my hair look like it was puked on.” Ray explained, Mikee cringed in a disgusted way.

“Ew… too much information…” she said.