I Love You, Is That So Wrong? Unfortunately, Yes

“Sounds fun.” Abi said.

“Yay, we get to throw paint on each other!” Anna said.

“Hehehe… evil smirk on Ray…” Mikee said, giving her cousin an evil smirk.

“Lets throw pink paint on Ray’s hair, ne?” I heard Nadine whisper to the short girl, in which she did not hesitate to agree on. I feel sorry for Ray. Gerard came back inside with the pizza and we started eating while watching TV, it seems that Nadine was only taking few bites once in a while as she was reading something on bond paper.

“Nadine, you better eat properly.” Frankie told her.

“Wait, I’m reading.” Nadine said, concentrated on whatever was typed into that fanfiction.

“Read later.” Frankie said, but then she ignored him and turned to Mikee who was happily eating her pizza. It shocked me a little when Nadine slapped her with the paper, but not entirely on purpose.

“Hey! What’s the big deal?!” Mikee demanded.

“Cliff-maker! You made another cliff-hanger!” Nadine scolded.

“Oh, I did that on purpose.”

“Gaaaaaaaah! I hate you cliff-maker!” as she said that she squeezed Mikee’s cheeks hard, ouch, must’ve hurt.

“Oooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww… I’ll have cheek cancer…” she said as she rubbed the affected area.

“There’s no such thing as cheek cancer Mimi.” Nadine said.

“Still… that hurt…” Mikee said, I took a look at Frankie, and he had that look on his face. The look where he’s starting to get curious of something, he grabs the fanfiction from Nadine’s hands without her noticing. “Ah! Nadine-chan! The fanfiction!” Mikee pointed out.

“Eh?! Frankie don’t read that!” Nadine said, snatching it back.

“You’re reading it, why can’t I?” Frankie asks.

“Um… because you have to ask the one who made it first!”

“Who made it then?”

“Uh… um… Abi made it!”

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you arguing with Mikee about cliff-hangers, she’s obviously the real author.”

“Damn it…”

“Mikee, can I read this?” Frankie asks the girl with my name, I see her blush a little as she tried to avoid looking at him.

“Um… I… uh…” she stutters.

“Mimi, you’re not going to let a guy read a yaoi fic are you?” Nadine says. Yaoi? I heard that before… but I can’t seem to remember.

“Yaoi? What’s that?” Ray ask, wanting to know what kind of fanfictions his cousin is making. It seems that the girls knew everything about what yaoi is, in my case I forgot.

“Something you guys are better off not knowing.” Abi said.

“Why? Is it porn?” Gerard said.

“YAOI IS NOT PORN!” Nadine and Mikee yell at him angrily.

“Oh, speaking of yaoi, Gerard can I talk to you in private for a bit?” Anna asked.

“Uh… sure…” Gerard said, the two left the living room as me and the rest stay to persuade the remaining girls to tell us what yaoi is. But what’s yaoi have to do with Gerard and Anna’s talk?

Unless…

Oh God, now I remember what yaoi is.

Gerard’s POV:

Anna and I went into the kitchen where we could talk privately, out of earshot from everyone in the living room.

What could she want to talk to me about?

“My God Gerard, and I always thought you broke-up with my sister because she wasn’t your type.” Anna said suddenly.

“Huh?” I say, not really getting what she just said.

“Don’t think I’ll just forget what you and Mikey were trying to do back in Mikey’s room, it’s funny coz I always thought you were gay in one way.” Suddenly when she said that it all came clear to me, she wanted to talk about what she saw because I just ignored what she was saying back then except for the apology. I guess Anna isn’t that kind of girl who would leave a subject such as two brothers trying to kiss each other down very lightly.

I mean, who would?

With Anna, you can’t just lie your way out of things. So there’s no other choice but get down on my knees, and beg.

“Anna… I’m asking you nicely… please don’t tell anyone about what you saw back there… if everyone knew… I don’t know what will happen to me and Mikey but I know it’s going to be something bad.”

“Hmm… all right, I won’t tell anyone.” it relieved me when she said that, but as I see the look on her eyes there’s got to be a catch. “If you bring me and the girls with you on tour with Panic!” she said, I blink my eyes in confusion.

We’re going on tour with Panic! At the Disco? How come I didn’t know this? And I’m the vocalist!

“What? Tour? With Panic?”

“You mean you didn’t know? That was the reason why your show was canceled, so you could have time to prepare for the tour.” Anna said.

“Um… to be honest with you… no one told me anything…” I stated honestly.

“I can’t believe it, a fan knows more about the band than the band itself.” Anna said, laughing a bit.

“Hey, a lot’s been happening lately okay? We probably just forgot about it and went on with our lives.”

“Yeah, it was a good thing I reminded you or you’d wake up surprised to see the tour bus waiting in front of your house.”

“Uh, whatever, are we done with this conversation? Can we go back to eating pizza?” I asked, but then I remembered her saying something about this being connected to yaoi. “Hey, what does this have to do with yaoi?”

“Um… something… like Abi said, you guys are better off not knowing.”

“Just tell me.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re better off not knowing.”

“Is that your only excuse?”

“So what if it is?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? MIKEE! KITCHEN! RIGHT NOW! WE ARE GOING TO TALK!”

“Ooooh… was that Ray? He sounded angry and freaked-out.”

Actually that was Ray, but I never heard him shout like that before. Ray then stomped into the kitchen with a scared-looking Mikee following behind him.

“Oh… Gerard… Anna… I didn’t know you guys were using the kitchen too.” Ray said with a strained smile, trying to hide the harassed look he had before he noticed me and Anna.

“Mikee, did Ray-ray find out?” Anna asked, Mikee nodded her head slowly. “You poor thing, I feel sorry for you.” she said as she patted her friend’s shoulder.

“Find out about what?” I ask.

“Gee, you heard all that talk in the living room about yaoi right?” Ray said.

“Yeah, I still don’t know what it is though.”

“Mikey, your brother, just told me it’s a genre of anime that includes boy-to-boy sex.” Ray explained very straight-forwardly, it shocked me to find that an innocent-looking girl such as Mikee would write about that stuff.

“Wait, how did Mikey know what yaoi is?” Anna said to her friend.

“How were we supposed to know he watches anime too?” Mikee muttered.

“That’s sad Mikee…” Anna said.

“Now Ray-ray’s all mad at me and stuff… just because I think it’s cute…” Mikee told her friend.

“It’s it not cute! It’s disgusting and pornish!” Ray said.

“YAOI IS NOT PORN!!!!” Mikee shouted more loudly than the last time.

“MAYBE TO YOU IT’S NOT BUT IT DON’T WANT TO BE RELATED TO SOMEONE WHO MAKES STORIES ABOUT THOSE STUFF!”

“THEN DISOWN ME FOR ALL I CARE! I’D BE RELIEVED TO BE NON-RELATED TO SOMEONE WITH RIDICULOUS HAIR!”

At this point where they started arguing again, I felt uncomfortable being at their presence, and by the look on Anna’s face, she felt the same way I did.

“Okay… um… Anna and I will just go now…” I said as I ushered Anna out of the kitchen to leave the fighting cousins to settle this on their own… though I’m not sure if that’s really the safest choice. When we got into the living room is seems we could still hear them distantly shouting at each other.

“Wow… Ray must be really pissed… I’m surprised you aren’t yelling at me like he is.” Nadine said, referring to her cousin Frankie.

“Uh… I’m not exactly as strict as Ray is… it’s fine with me if you like yaoi but… just don’t overdo it…” Frankie said.

“And Bob?” Nadine said, turning to the 27-year-old uncle of a 26-year-old.

“I know Abi doesn’t like those kinds of stuff, it took her a long time to get Broke Back Mountain out of her head, and she didn’t like it.” Bob said. Ehh… Broke Back Mountain… disturbing movie…

“So Mikey, you’re the only guy here who really knows what yaoi means, in a guys point of view, what do you think about it?” Abi asked, curiously.

Mikey’s POV:

Oh God, she just had to ask me that question.

What do I do?

How do I answer that question? To think that I’m gay myself AND like my own brother… it’ll be hypocritical to say it’s disgusting and crap, it’ll hurt Gee if I say that.

“Lie.” I hear someone next to me say; I turn to see it was Anna who said that. “Lie you idiot, who cares if you sound hypocritical? Gee will understand, it’s the only way for them to not know.” she told me, how did she know? Well… she did see what Gerard and I were doing up there… how could she not know? Lying… not exactly my kind of stuff but it’ll do, why didn’t I think of that?

Man I could be such an idiot sometimes.

“I uh… don’t really like to mention it… it’s kinda… look why don’t you ask Frankie or Bob instead? I don’t feel very comfortable with that question.” I said, at the corner of my eyes I think I saw Anna roll her eyes, my excuse wasn’t good enough, I know.

“Yeah Abi, it’s uncomfortable for him, what’s wrong with you?” Nadine said jokingly.

“Shut up Nadine.” Abi bit at the taller girl, we laughed a little and I glance over at Gerard, you know, just to see him. He looked at me and we exchanged smiles once again, I like his smile, no wonder he has a lot of fangirls.

“DAMN YOU RAY! I HATE YOU!”

The room fell silent when we heard what we were sure was the small Mikee scream those words at the top of her lungs, there was no response from Ray as we just waited in silence for something to happen after that.

After what seemed like a few minuets Mikee came out of the kitchen with tears in her eyes as she made her way to the door, ignoring us. She left with a slam on the door and probably ran off to who-knows-where. The girls exchanged worried glances; they stood up and made their way outside the living room at the same time Ray appeared in front of them, almost bumping into them.

“What did you do to her?!” Nadine demanded.

“Get out of the way jerk.” Abi snapped.

“She was crying you idiot!” Anna bit. I watch Ray’s expression as he stayed quiet, not really meeting eye-to-eye with the girls, I’m guessing he’s just really guilty for making his cousin cry and run off like that. Since they heard no response the girl’s just rolled their eyes and shoved him out of the way as they went out the door to look for their friend. Ray just stood there with a miserable look on his face as he runs a hand through his mane of hair.

“Dude,” Bob said as he got off the sofa and went over to Ray, placing a hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him. “You okay?” he asks.

“Does it look like I’m okay?” Ray said in a low tone of voice, I was sitting near the doorway so I could hear what they were saying.

“It’s okay to cry you know, it’s just us guys in here.” Frankie said.

“Shut up Frankie, this is no time for your jokes.” Gerard said, giving him an annoyed look.

“But I wasn’t joking!” Frankie protested.

“Just shut up.”

Frankie sighs in defeat, I shake my head as all three of us get up to usher Ray to the sofa where he could talk to us.

“It’s just… when I was little I always wanted to have a baby sister and Mikee always wanted an older brother… so, when we started acting like brother and sister we started fighting like that too, and there’s just some stuff I really don’t agree on with her, like that yaoi crap.” Ray explained calmly.

“I understand you find the fact that your cousin writes about those stuff so fondly, but isn’t that her thing? Like it’s you thing to have that hair style and not care what people think?” I reason out.

“Look Ray, even relatives have different interests, no matter how close they are, as a brother figure you should probably understand that Mikee likes those things and just accept the fact, I mean I don’t mind if Nadine likes it.” Frankie said.

“Even if you two are as close to being brother and sister, it doesn’t change the fact that there’ll be complications between you two, she doesn’t like your hair and you don’t like her liking yaoi.” Gerard said.