I Only Want You for One Night

“Bill seemed mad at me the other day, did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not, Alice. He’s just a little strange around new people, that’s all. Despite his rockstar status, he’s shy around new people. Don’t ask why, I don’t know. And besides, he’s had a week to cool off if he was mad, so no worries.”

“You’re right, I guess. Perhaps his shyness has to do with his appearance? Does he feel like people judge him?”

“Maybe, but there’s only a small chance of that. He didn’t have many friends in middle school for a while, because of his hair and makeup and stuff, but he grew out of that a lot when we got big. But I still find it strange, I mean, come on, he’s obviously popular because of the band, but I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet.”

“Well, I think Giselle liked him a lot, so maybe if you tell him that, he’ll get a confidence boost.”

“Think?”

“Okay, I know, she gushes about him like a fourteen year old girl with a crush on the center forward on the football team, but that’s besides the point. Did he like her in any way?”

“He thought she was sweet like Skittles and pretty as a rose, to use his words. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Do you often think of yourself covered in chocolate?”

I laughed. Talking on the phone with a pretty girl who thought dirty thoughts about me has to be number two or three up there on my list of Things-That-Will-Make-Me-Die-Happy. “Oh my god, and I thought I was kinky. No, I was thinking double-date.”

“Name the time and place and we’ll be there. No questions asked.”

“Okay, hang on a second,” I said, placing the phone against my shoulder. “Bill! Come here for a second!” I shouted.

I heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Bill came into the dining room, staring at me. “Was, Tomi? I’m kind of busy right now, love. I trying to master some Final Fantasy here.”

“Do you have anything planned for Friday night?”

“Hmm, let’s see, I am going to pick flowers in Unicorn Field then I am going to have tea with the Queen of England, where we will negotiate about passing on the crown to me, thus making me the King of England.”

I stared at him. “You have way too much time on your hands, and an overactive imagination. Do you want to go on a date?”

His face lit up. “More than ever! Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t decided yet.”

His expression changed to that of disbelief. “We?”

“Don’t give me that look. Yes, we, Alice and I.”

I saw a faint color change in his cheeks. Like he was mad. “Am I to be a third wheel, like a designated driver?”

“Um, no, what kind of brother do you think I am? You have a date too!”

He smiled a little bit. “Giselle?”

“Duh,” I said, elongating the word.

“Well, she’s no Heidi, but she’s pretty. And she’s nice, too. Okay, I’ll go. Make plans for whatever.”

“Thank you, Billa. Come here,” I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to me. I brought his lips to meet mine and kissed him quickly and affectionately.

No one could accuse me of not being Oscar worthy.

He smiled and walked out of the room, a spring in his step. I wiped my mouth and put the phone back to my ear. “Still there?”

“Still sexy?”

“Of course I am.”

“What’d he say?”

“Sarcasm.”

Her laugh was so pretty. “You know you would too.”

“Yeah, I know. So, know any good restaurants that do not revolve around beer?”

“Yes, actually, and it’s very nice, and affordable. Want me to make reservations?”

“It’s a reservations thing? I am so not wearing a jacket and tie.”

“Oh, shut up, it’s a walk-in place too. Would you rather do that?”

“Bitte.”

“Okay, it’s a date then.” She gave me the name of the place. “Meet us there at 7:45 and no later, got it?”

“Deal. See you then, beautiful.”

“Right back atcha, sexy.”

I hung up the phone and leaned back in the chair I was sitting in. “This is gonna be awesome.”

~+~

“I feel stupid,” I said, looking down at my clothes and rubbing my bare arms.

Bill nudged my arm and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Okay, you’re lucky I let you have the hat, but no way are you wearing a body-eating sweatshirt on a date with her.”

He spat the word ‘her’ out like it was an expletive. I let it slide. “Oh, shut up, I feel mega exposed here. And not to mention my shirt isn’t as baggy as it normally is, I feel all… you-ish.”

He poked me in the shoulder. “Shut up, it’s not horrible, I didn’t wear any of my gloves, just my black and white wrist band and my hair is nice and flat, so if I look fairly normal, you do too!”

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the bench on the outside of the restaurant. Despite the warm night air, I still wanted a jacket. I hoped that maybe Alice had brought the one I had given her because she knew I wanted one because she read my mind.

I can dream.

Bill pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. “It is 7:50 in the PM, they’re late.”

“A fact for which we apologize, boys, but this kind of beauty takes time and precision,” I heard Giselle’s silver voice say.

I looked up at the two girls and almost let my jaw drop.

Alice was dressed in straight leg dark was jeans that fell almost past a pair of strappy black stilettos. She had a few silver bangles on her wrists, and her nails were painted black. Her shirt was a silky turquoise tank top that was covered by one of those half-jacket things. Her dark hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, her lips were painted her trademark hooker red, and her eyes dusted lightly with a white shimmery eyeshadow.

Giselle was dressed in a pair of grey skinny jeans, a pair of silver ballet flats, and a black quarter-length sleeved shirt with the design of a glittery tube of lipstick on the front. Her dirty blonde hair was curled into loose ringlets, and her eyes were lined with purple eyeliner. She had a red chain on her belt with several tiny charms on it, and she had a small clutch purse with her that had multicolored polka dots on it.

I walked over to Alice and wrapped her in a hug, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “You look amazing.”

“So do you, I’m loving the shirt. I love how it’s closer to your skin, I can feel all your amazing muscles,” she nearly laughed, running a finger down my torso. I smirked and looked over at Bill and Giselle, who were sharing a friendly hug.

I almost laughed, the sight was comical. Bill, with his genetic lottery win in the height department at 6’2, was a bit taller than my 5’11 status. But, it wouldn’t have been too huge a deal had Giselle been the same height as Alice. But, Giselle was three inches shorter than Alice, making her eleven inches shorter than Bill.

He had to bend over to hug her.

I hugged Alice again and swayed us back and forth for no reason.

Bill cleared his throat. “Hallo, I don’t know if anyone noticed this, but I am hungry!”

“Seconded!” Giselle said, nodding.

I rolled my eyes and let go of Alice, gesturing to the doors. “Ladies first.”

Alice poked my shoulder. “So gentlemanly.”

“Emphasis on manly.”

Bill snorted. I punched him in the shoulder.

We opened the doors for them and I almost vomited at the annoyingly high-pitched ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe how sweet they are!’ giggle that both the girls employed. Bill and I followed closely behind.

We were seated at a booth (which I was grateful for. Tables left you defenseless against fangirls) and I slid into the booth next to Alice. Bill had a strange expression on his face for a split second but immediately replaced it with one of courtesy and gestured Giselle into the booth with a smile and a sentiment of “M’lady.”

She smiled. “Why thank you kind sir.”

“And I thought chivalry was dead,” I said, smiling.

Bill shot me a warning glance and got in next to Giselle. Our drink orders were taken, where Bill and Giselle laughed at each other when they ordered the same drink, a rum and coke, and we got to talking.

“Jobs!” Bill said, smiling and pointing at Giselle and Alice.

Giselle played with one of the sugar packets. “Cashier at Diesel Jeans. And no, you cannot have free jeans, I’d get fired.”

“Darn,” Bill said, making a face. He turned his attention to Alice. “And you, Alice?”

“Buchemarkt.”

“That’s awesome. Maybe I could come in and visit you when you’re lonely,” I said, hinting heavily at sex.

“Why, Tom, you can’t read!” Bill piped up, smiling.

I flicked a piece of napkin at him.

The rest of the conversation went pretty well (Giselle seemed to have the same problem with money spending as did Bill, but she spent all hers on music, when all of his went to clothes), but when we got our food I about crawled in a hole.

Bill was trying to get his asparagus on fork when he looked over at Giselle, who was twirling her Fettuccini on her fork. He squealed loudly and his jaw dropped.

“Oh mein gott, you’re a lefty!” he exclaimed, his face reminiscent of a small child’s at Christmas.

I slouched down in my seat, hiding my face.

And I shared my DNA with that.

“You don’t know many people who are left handed?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

He shrugged. “Oh, I know a few, but I still think it’s the best thing ever. I wish I was lefty.”

Alice nudged my arm. “Get up, Tom, it’s not as bad as you think.”

“I have to drive home with him. With that.”

I felt something hard connect with my shin. “Shut up!” Bill’s voice sounded, sounding like he was pouting.

I sat up and smiled at him. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He smiled back at me. “Oh, you just wait for tonight, you jerk.”

“I’m quivering. Just damn terrified of an overgrown feather duster.”

“That’s rich, coming from the short mop.”

“Boys, do we have to send you to separate corners in time-out?” Giselle said, slurping up a noodle.

“She will, too, and make you stand there until we leave. I’ve seen it happen,” Alice warned.

I kissed her cheek. “I’ll behave, but only with him.”

“You are so dirty, eat your food,” she laughed, poking me with her fork.

I smiled and did as I was told.

About five minutes after that, Bill began to stir his drink with his straw absentmindedly. “Tomi?”

“What do you want?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Will you…”

“Will I what?”

“Will-you-come-to-the-bathroom-with-me?” his sentence was slurred and fast-forwarded, embarrassment clear and apparent on his face.

“You’re nineteen, right?”

His eyes pleaded with me, as did his voice. “Please Tom? There could be psycho molesters or something who don’t know who I am and mistake me for a girl, and they’d drunkenly rape me!”

I stared at him. “You’re overreacting.”

Alice looked at me. “Tom, be a nice brother and go with him, he honestly looks worried!”

Bill started nodding fervently. “Bitte?”

I sighed. “I guess I have no choice in the matter. Fine, I’ll go with you. Ladies, we’ll be right back.”

“We’ll be here!” Giselle chimed, her voice silvery.

I got up and followed Bill to the men’s room, where he kept looking around shiftily. I stared at him with a mild interest on my face.

Once inside, he proceeded to check every stall, making sure there was no one there. I couldn’t see how there would be, we were practically the only ones in the restaurant.

On a positive inspection, he straightened up and let out a sigh of relief.

I leaned against the wall and stared at the floor. “Okay, there’s no one, now hurry up.”

Suddenly, without warning, his arm shot out and grabbed mine. He jerked me towards the handicap stall and shoved me inside, locking the door. I held up my hands. “Oh no, no, no, if you think I am standing in here while you piss you are so very-” but I couldn’t finish my sentence because at that moment Bill jumped on me and locked his legs around my waist, his momentum slamming us both against the wall, where he pressed his lips hungrily to mine.

I didn’t respond, mainly because I was shocked. He put his hand on the back of my neck and stopped kissing me, letting his lips hover just above mine. “Mm, I’ve wanted to do that all night. I shouldn’t have dressed you in that outfit, Tom, it’s making me hot. This almost form-fitting shirt, those dark jeans, oh gott, I just want to rip your clothes off right now.” He began sucking on my neck.

I bit my lip and counted to three. “Bill, what the hell? This is the reason you brought me with you? Are you fucking joking me right now?”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that you jumped me in the bathroom of a public place when there is a very high risk of us getting caught and that would be very bad!” I opened my mouth to continue my sentence, but he ignored everything I said and proceeded to massage my tongue with his, the silver stud in his tongue running across the roof of my mouth.

I pushed him off as best as I could. “Would you stop and listen to me? Jesus Christ, Bill, you’re like a sex addict or something! You’re being completely stupid, what if someone were to come in right now? We’d be in some serious deep shit! We’d be thrown in jail!”

He slid off my waist. “Any other reasons you want to destroy my happiness with? You’d rather go hang out with Alice?” he spat her name out like a dirty word again.

“You know what, I do! I’d rather go hang out with Alice because right now you are pissing me off!”

I turned and walked to the door, but not before I saw his eyes well up. “Well, fine then, go back to that stupid slut and maybe go take her to a hotel and fuck her afterwards because you obviously love that skank more than your own brother!”

That comment about Alice made me see red. Without thinking, I turned around and struck him as hard as I could across the face. The sound echoed around the large tiled room. His whole body twisted with the force of it and he fell over, keeping himself steady in a crouched position.

I immediately regretted what I did. I stared in shock at my hand, like it had grown a will of its own and hit him without my knowing. I started to stutter out an apology. “Oh… oh mein gott, Bill, I… I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that, I just… I didn’t even think, I… you know I would never hurt you purposefully! I just…” none of the words I tried to put together worked. I walked over to him and knelt down next to him when I saw a drop of water hit the floor next to his hand.

“Bill…”

“Just go away,” he said quietly, his voice cracking.

Brilliant, Tom, just superb. You hit your brother and made him cry. Props for you and your idiocy.

I opened the stall and walked out, closing it quietly. Right as I was about to leave the bathroom, I heard Bill sniff in and sob slightly. I bit my lip hard and walked back to the table, trying to look okay through my guilt.

I walked back to the table and sat down, sighing and digging into my food again. Giselle looked at me. “Where’s Bill?”

“Hmm? Oh, I decided that in the however amount of time we were in there and he was still freaking out, I decided he was fine on his own and left. But, he started to cry a little, so I kinda feel bad about it.”

Nice, cover my tracks and his. I’m telling you, I could be a world-class actor if I could just get a role!

A few minutes later, Bill came out, looking thoroughly happy. Hell, he was skipping to the table.

My mind warped. This wasn’t the same Bill.

“Hallo mein liebenswert Giselle, sorry for taking a million years. Fear of rapists and molesters and all that jazz. God, did my food get cold? Ugh, yes it did! Oh well, asparagus is good no matter what, so what the hell.”

I was confused. Was Bill just as good an actor as I was? Or was he just over it already?

He picked up his drink and drained it all in one very long drink. I stared at him, my eyes the size of tires.

“Easy Bill, don’t hit that too hard!” Giselle said, raising her eyebrows at him. He rolled his eyes and smiled, eating his food.

Once we finished, Bill and I paid for everything. He hadn't spoken one word to me since he came back from the bathroom. We were outside, saying our good-byes, and in Bill and Giselle’s case, being stupid.

“You chugged it down, you are so wasted!” she teased.

He laughed insanely loud, not helping his cause. “I swear to drunk I’m not god, and if I am, I’ve got all sober to Sunday up.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that one. I thought it was hilarious.

“Bill, you’re so drunk,” she teased again, poking him.

“Well, don’t you think you’re so bucking frilliant! I am not drunk!” he joked again, pointing a finger at her.

“Prove it!”

He stood up straight, brought his index finger to his nose, and walked a straight line, all while reciting his alphabet.

He finished. Alice giggled when he pirouetted and yelled a loud, triumphant ‘HA!’ when he remained still.

I gave her a kiss goodbye, and said goodbye to Giselle, and walked to the car with Bill. He maintained a cheerful façade, but I knew he was truly lying when he slammed the door with more force than needed.

Once home, we were greeted by an empty house. I walked into the living room. “Mom? Gordon? You home?”

I heard a bedroom door slam. I imagined it was Bill.

I sighed and walked into the kitchen, tossing the keys on the table. There was a note on the fridge.

Tom + Bill,

Michaela is having her baby. Bill wins!

Back in the morning,

XOXO Mom and Gordon

Gottverdammt. Bill won the stupid pool. I’d tell him later. So, our very pregnant cousin was about to become very motherly. Awesome, another baby for me to feel uncomfortable around.

I left the note on the fridge and walked up to our room, opening the door slowly. I heard Bill inside, crying. The room was pitch black.

My feelings conflicted right now. Sure, my love for Bill was strictly brotherly, but I felt a strange tug to apologize to him, begging for forgiveness on both knees.

“Bill?” I said softly, flicking on the light.

Bill lay curled up in the fetal position on his bed, clutching his pillow for dear life. His shoes, jacket, and shirt were thrown on the floor, and his wristband lay neatly on the dresser.

“Go away, Tomi. Go sleep on the couch, I don’t want you here,” he choked out, curling up tighter.

I blew out all the air in my lungs with a strange whooshing sound and sat down on the foot of his bed. “Look, Bill, what I did at the restaurant, I shouldn’t have done. Even if I was mad at you, I should have never have hit you. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry doesn’t cut it this time Tom!” he threw his pillow aside and sat up to face me. He looked like a truck had run him over. “What you did is way beyond sorry, Tom! You rejected me and hurt me!”

“I know, but sorry is all I can say.”

“No, it’s not! You can say a million things, but the one I want to hear is an explanation! Why, Tom? You basically told me to go fuck off then slapped me! And I want to know why!”

I stood up. “I don’t know, Bill, I don’t know! I just didn’t think and it just happened!”

“Yeah, sure it just happened!” Bill stood up to face me eye-to-eye. “Everything always just happens with you! And when you do something like that, it… it scares me.”

“I’m sorry I scared you when I hit you, but-”

He waved his hands, signaling me to stop. “No, no, you’ve hit me before, and even though it pissed me off, the rejection scared me. I thought you stopped… I thought you didn’t love me anymore and that was your sick way of putting it, and I was scared. Tom, I love you, and if you don’t love me back, well, then… then…”

“That’s insane, I would never stop loving you!” Lying always makes it worse, shut up, Tom, shut up!

“I thought you did, though, and that’s why I didn’t talk to you at all afterwards, because I thought that’s what you wanted. But you really scared me, Tom, I thought you hated my guts. And even if you say it, I still don’t know! I honestly feel like you don’t love me like you say you do!” he fell against the closet door and slid down it, hitting the floor with a soft thud.

I walked over and knelt next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Bill, I love you, and I don’t know how to make you believe it.”

His eyes suddenly became hard glittering stones, dark and full of emotion. He looked straight into their mirror image and spoke. “You want me to believe it? Fine. Prove it.”

“Excuse me?”

He grabbed my collar with one hand and pulled my hat off with the other. “Prove to me that you love me.”

He pulled me closer to him. He kissed my cheek then spoke softly in my ear. “Make love to me.”

A shiver ran up and down the length of my spine twice. I couldn’t say no to this or Bill would hate me and always give me that look that he knew I had lied to him and betrayed him in some way. And that was a look I hated fiercely.

So I gave in, against my better judgement.

I pressed my lips to his and let my mind shut down.

I couldn’t think while doing this, or else I’d screw something up.

Tom, you can do this.

I know you can.