I Only Want You for One Night

Forget it all.

Forget everything I’ve said, forget everything I’ve felt, forget everything I thought.

It was all a lie.

I told myself I didn’t love Bill and that I never wanted him that way.

Well, I was a good liar. I had lied to myself.

I was terrified at what we would become when we first had sex, so I repressed my feelings and told myself it was all a stupid mistake.

The only stupid mistake I made was fooling myself into feeling things that were false.

I loved Bill with every fiber of my person, every inch of my soul, and from the very bottom of my heart.

He had me, mind and body. I would do anything for him, and I can’t believe I convinced myself otherwise.

But, I’d berate myself later, because right now, I had bigger fish to fry, mainly talking mine and Bill’s way out of Georg and Gustav’s stares.

“Um… hi, guys,” I said, trying to make myself look innocent.

I realized a millisecond later that’s not exactly the easiest thing to do when you’re lying naked next to your twin brother, who has sex hair.

Gustav had his head cocked to the side at us, his expression that of a person trying to figure out how there was supposed to be a turkey in random paint splatters. Georg’s eyebrows were stitched together in confusion as he kept looking around, as if trying to piece together what the hell we were doing.

Bill bit his lip. “Uh, you guys? Could you wait downstairs for a second? We’ll explain everything then.”

Georg just sighed and shook his head, walking out of the room. Gustav followed, that expression still on his face. He closed the door, and I fell back onto the pillow with a sigh.

“Bill, we’re in deep shit,” I said, my hand covering my eyes.

He leaned on my shoulder, his arm draped across my stomach. “Yep.”

“What do we tell them?”

“I don’t know, you tell them something. You obviously have the capacity to lie.”

I groaned. “You doubt me. I understand that.”

He sat up, sitting cross-legged and staring at his hands. “Well, of course I doubt you! Tom, you’ve been changing your mind like you’ve been changing socks lately and I don’t know what to believe anymore! I honestly think last night was nothing but a pity fuck.”

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. “Will you at least let me explain myself?”

“Is there anything to explain? Or are you just going to lie to me more?”

Okay, I deserved that. I took in a deep breath and held him closer to me. “I was… scared of what I felt for you.”

He turned around and looked at me. “You were scared of your feelings.”

I felt myself blush. “I was afraid of what I had become, of the feelings I was feeling. I didn’t want to love my brother like I did, so I made myself believe I didn’t.”

“It still doesn’t explain you hurting me like you did.”

“That was something I didn’t mean to do. I honestly don’t know why I did it. I think when you said something about loving me I got scared again and snapped. I meant it when I said I would never hurt you, though. You’re my little brother, if I love you like I do or not, and to see you hurt hurts me.”

He twiddled his thumbs. “So, what are you trying to tell me?”

I slid my index finger under his chin and lifted his head up, forcing him to look at me. “I’m not running from my feelings anymore.”

He stared into my eyes. “Tom…?”

I smiled, feeling myself blush like a little girl. Oh boy. “Bill, I… I love you.”

He bit his lip and smiled, his eyes glistening. “I love you too, Tom.”

“And I promise to love you forever, without end, and without being the retarded jerk I’ve been for the past two weeks. Trust me on this, that Tom is gone forever.”

“Does that mean no more Alice?”

I bit my lip. “I’ll still have to see her, but I promise no sex and I will keep the physical stuff at a minimum. It’ll like being friends with her.”

He sighed. “I understand. Hey, I guess I can still hang with Giselle.”

“Positive attitude. That’s a mega plus.” I wrapped him in a hug and gently kissed his neck. “Now come on, let’s face our doom.”

~+~

Okay, so maybe just dressing in a pair of flannel PJ pants then sitting close to each other on the couch when you gotta explain just what the fuck you were doing spooning naked with your brother wasn’t exactly the smartest choice Bill and I made.

“No beating around the bush, you two, we want to know just what in the hell we saw,” Georg demanded, his expression caught somewhere between betrayal and confusion.

Bill bit his lip and spoke three words in French. I blinked and stared at him. “When was this ability acquired?”

“I’ve been practicing.”

Gustav snapped his fingers. “Um, hello, in German, if you don’t mind!”

Bill held his head up and said the exact same words in French. I as well started to get frustrated, I didn’t know what the fuck he was saying.

“Dammit, Bill, say it!”

“He and I fucked!” I yelled, frustrated beyond anything I had ever felt before. I immediately slapped a hand to my mouth and let my eyes grow wide, shocked by my bluntness.

Bill nodded. “My words exactly.”

Georg let out a triumphant yell and held a hand out to Gustav. “You owe me a hundred euros, bitch!”

Gustav bit his nails and shrugged as he got out his wallet. “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it. We wish you both happiness in this whole venture.”

Bill smiled and held my hand. “I’m so glad you two are cool with us.”

Get real, will you?

Georg, who had been pacing, slipped on something nonexistent, catching himself on the chair Gustav occupied. Gustav made a choking sound and rubbed the back of his neck. “I-I’m sorry? Did you two just say you had sex together?”

“I am not hearing this, I am not hearing this!” Georg said, placing a hand on his forehead.

Bill bit his lip. “But it’s… it’s true.”

“You two are BROTHERS! TWIN BROTHERS! This is against nature!” Georg yelled at us, his face a small bit disgusted.

“But, but we’re…” Bill tried to say, unable to get the words out.

“But nothing, this is wrong and you know it!”

I looked and Gustav. “No thoughts, Gussi?”

“I’m still waiting for the punch line.”

Bill sighed. “Keep waiting.”

“So, you’re serious? You two are…” Gustav couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“But Tom, what about that one girl, that Alice chick you’ve been chilling with?”

“Cover. Appearances. Initial attraction,” I said plainly, shrugging.

“So are you just going to snap it off with her because of you guys having sex?”

“Well, I haven’t yet,” I said, biting my lip.

“Yet?! How long have you two been…? I can’t even comprehend this,” Georg said, holding his head in his hands.

“Only, only twice! The first was like realization sex, and then last night was like…” Bill couldn’t think of a word.

“Make-up sex.”

Gustav stared. “Make-up sex?”

“We fought,” Bill said, thankfully skipping the details.

It was bad enough the guys thought we were disgusting, they didn’t need to think of me as abusive.

“Guys, I know… I know this is nuts, okay? I mean, even I tried to fight it. I didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to love Bill, but I can’t not love him. And if letting our hearts get what they want is immoral, then let us be. We just ask that you guys keep this a secret,” I said, casting my eyes to the side.

No one said anything. Bill slid his legs up and hugged them to his chest. I played with the string on my pants.

Finally, Gustav sighed. “You guys promise to be quiet if you do anything on tours?”

Bill’s chest swelled up. “You’re gonna accept us?”

Georg shrugged. “What choice do we have? I do ask that you keep PDA’s to a minimum around us, though, it’s going to take a lot of getting used to.”

“That we can do,” I said, nodding.

“We can’t thank you enough for being as cool as possible with us. You guys promise not to tell? Because if you tell, Georg, I’ll tell the world about your stuffed bear collection, and Gustav, I don’t have anything on you yet, but I will,” Bill threatened, pointing a finger at them both.

“Oh yeah, like I’d so tell,” Gustav said, raising an eyebrow.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Georg said.

“Ask away,” I answer nodding.

“Are you guys gay?”

I paused. “Hmm. Well, we don’t know. I still like girls…”

“As do I,” Bill piped up, smiling, probably thinking of Giselle.

Nerd. “So I think we’re just kind of gay for each other.”

Gustav shrugged. “Whatever. Now, what kind of food do you have in here? Your mom buys like the best snacks…”

I smiled and looked at Bill, who looked back at me and slid his hand into mine.

Nothing beats the satisfaction of your two best friends accepting your love, even if it is illegal and immoral.

Love is love, and they knew that.

~+~

“Is Bill over everything that was irritating him?” Alice asked as she stalked books.

Bill said he wanted to go shopping, but the second we got into town, he said he had a surprise for me and told me to keep myself entertained, so I decided to go visit Alice.

He would probably see Giselle in Diesel so I was well within my rights.

I nodded and messed with my hat. “Yeah, I guess he was still hurt that I left him in the bathroom, so I apologized.”

“Bet that was some great make-up sex,” Alice joked, not knowing the truth to her own words.

I snickered. “Oh yeah, Bill’s an animal in the sack.”

Sweet, it felt good not having to lie.

“Haha, you are so lame. Oh, and Giselle had an amazing time, so tell him that.”

“She’ll probably tell him herself. He’s shopping. He said something about surprising me so I guess that means he’s going to spend another six thousand in Diesel in ten seconds, and then buying me like an ice cream cone with the change, so whatever.”

She giggled. “Well, one can only hope it’s ice cream you like.”

“Oh yes, very much so.”

I was, for some reason, reading a children’s book about a lovesick frog whose name was, ironically, Froggy. He was currently getting yelled at and would always respond by saying “What?” in a really whiney way.

It was irritating but it passes the time.

Alice and I sat in silence for about thirty seconds before we heard the door slam open, slam closed, and then the sound of someone doing a Dukes of Hazzard hood slide over the front counter.

The door opened again, and in came a girl who looked to be about sixteen, holding a camera. I tilted my hat down and tried to disappear, upon note of her shirt.

There was a very large Tokio Hotel logo on the front, above which were the words ‘I Love.’

“Yes, can I help you?” Alice asked, placing a few more books on the shelf.

“Um, did you happen to see a tall man come in here? He’s about this tall and has long black hair?”

Alice shrugged. “No, I haven’t seen him. I wish you luck in your venture, though.”

The girl pouted and walked out, the door making a soft closing sound. I turned the page. “You can come out now, Bill.”

Bill popped up from behind the counter like a jack-in-the-box, letting his head fall on the counter in exasperation. “I’ve heard of fangirls doing some really crazy things, but she was like fucking chasing me! I’m lucky to have made it out alive.”

I laughed. “Poor baby. Now, you said you had a surprise for me.”

“Hold that thought,” he said, walking over to us. He grabbed Alice and hugged her. “Nice to see you again, Alice.”

“Nice to see you again, too, now give your brother his gift before he has an aneurysm.”

He smiled and rummaged through his bag. “Okay, now I know this isn’t as baggy as your normal shirts but I remembered that Alice liked the tighter shirts on you, and I thought it was so you, so, here.”

He handed me a black shirt. I unfolded it, looked at what it said, and started laughing.

The shirt said ‘Don’t pretend like you don’t want some of this.’

Alice looked at it and laughed too. “Well, when I never thought I’d see the day when a shirt said it all.”

Bill held up a red shirt and placed it on his body, sort of modeling it. “And this one is for me, it made me laugh too.”

Oh boy. The shirt was made for Bill, all right.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

“Oh, and Alice, I stopped by to see Giselle and she said to tell you that she wants to go dancing tonight.”

“Ooh, sounds like fun. You guys want to come?”

I shook my head. “We can’t. Mom’s been hounding us about never being home at the same time so we have to chill with her and Gordon tonight.”

“No worries, maybe some other time.”

Bill looked at me and smiled. He knew that Mom had done nothing of the sort, but Bill wanted a movie night with all the sappy love movies he sobbed over, so I let him have what he wanted.

“Well, I have to work, I have a ton of books to stack, and if your mom wants a day with her boys, I suggest you go give it to her. I’ll see you guys later.”

I stood up and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you later, Alice.”

“Yeah, bye Alice!” Bill chimed, waving happily.

She said goodbye as we walked out the door. Bill slipped his hand in mine and sighed. “What movies we watching tonight?”

“Do you remember the movie Tristan and Isolde?”

His face lit up.

Score for you, Tomi.