I Only Want You for One Night

I sat on the bed, fidgeting nervously and impatiently.

Something stupid was on TV but I left it on because Tom had had it on before he went to take a shower.

When is he going to be done?! I sighed and my stomach gurgled. I wasn’t hungry I just….

I heard the water stop and jumped up excitedly.

For two weeks I’d waited patiently, but Tomi was never in the mood.

Going this long without sex was kinda hard for me, especially when we slept in the same bed every night and I had this strong craving for some of him.

I wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. I asked him, giving him an innocent face, and he would just say he was not in the mood.

Tom Kaulitz, not in the mood? Was the world coming to an end?

He promised me sometime later, though, and then would fall asleep, sometimes without even kissing me goodnight.

I tried not to be angry at him for that. But this lack of sex was getting to me.

Come to think of it, we’d barely had any sexual contact in these two weeks.

During the day we spent our time in the studio, me thinking up new songs and the guys really just clowning around like they usually did.

And when we weren’t in the studio we went out looking for stuff for the apartment. It was pretty big, and hey, we did have some money, so I tried to make it as fancy as possible.

And Tom was spending a lot of time with Alice. I thought that pretty odd too.

But when they went out I stayed home and cleaned up after Tom. Really, he was a slob.

We’d go over to mom and Gordon’s for dinner and then sometimes we would go out for ice cream and steal a kiss here and there but that was it. Nothing more.

It made me wonder…

My thoughts were cut short as Tom walked out of the bathroom, dripping wet, and only wearing boxers.

I couldn’t help myself as I liked my lips. Mmm did I want some of that tonight.

He dried himself off a bit with his towel and threw it to the floor.

“You’re a pig,” I teased, kneeling on the edge of the bed and running my fingers up the damp skin on his chest.

“I’ll get it later,” he said, giving me a smile and then picking me up in his arms.

I giggled. “Tom, you’re gonna fall.”

“And you’re a twig,” he kissed my nose. “I can carry you.”

He held me like a baby and I wrapped my arms around the cool, damp skin, breathing in his gorgeous smell.

Tom walked us over to the bed and sat down, me snuggling into him on his lap.

He started petting my hair affectionately and continued to watch his show.

“Tomi?” I twirled a dreadlock around my finger. They were still wet. Oh those would feel nice against my skin.

“Hmm?” he didn’t look down at me, he kept his eyes on the TV.

I played with my fingers nervously. “Can we…can we have sex tonight?”

I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. He always gave in when I looked innocent.

“Not tonight Bill, I’m not in the mood.”

“But you said you would!”

“I never said anything,” he sighed and looked back up at the TV.

“Yes you did Tomi! You promised me!” I whined, more than I should have.

“Bill, what the hell, I said no!” Tom pushed me away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I cried, pushing him back, not moving him very much.

He got off the bed, his face red. He was angry at me. “Fine, while you have your little hissy fit just because you can’t have your way I’m going to sleep in the other bedroom.”

Tom stormed out of the room.

I called after him, but he wouldn’t come back.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn’t wanted him to be mad at me. It was just that…he knew I needed it and I got impatient and he’d promised me.

I sighed and curled up into a ball on the bed.

It was hard, trying to get to sleep without him there. We hadn’t been in separate beds for about a month or two now. Heck we hadn’t slept in separate rooms in ages.

I was too mad at myself. I didn’t let myself fall asleep.

Was Tom gonna be mad at me forever?

No, I knew him, he’d be over it tomorrow.

Did I know him?

What was he doing all those hours with Alice? Was he not telling me something?

My heart skipped a few beats. Was he having sex with her?

He was being unfaithful to me! There was no other explanation.

He just wasn’t all that enthused around me anymore. I started to cry at the thought of him giving that love he gave to me to Alice.

It hurt me to think about it.

This was all in my head…

No, every day he goes with her for hours and hours thinking you won’t suspect a thing.

But I trust him…don’t I?

Why would you trust him? That first time he said he loved you he didn’t, he was just saying it to get you off his case.

But when we first moved her, we were both happy to finally be alone. I saw it in him. And when we made love, was that all fake?

It was the first time, was it not?

I chewed at my nails worriedly, chipping away the black paint.

When all the nail polish was gone and I’d gotten a headache from worrying about this so much I wrapped my arms around a pillow, pretending it was Tom, and fell into a fretful sleep.