I Only Want You for One Night

I woke up around noon the next day. I had finally gotten to sleep around five in the morning, and had just been so tired I didn’t care to get up.

I just laid there in bed for awhile, looking around the room aimlessly.

Clothes and boxes we still needed to unpack cluttered the floor. My attempts at cleaning were terrible because in the end I was just as big a slob as Tom was.

We need a maid.

I also put off leaving this room so fast because I was afraid Tom was here.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to him if he was here.

Sure, I’d calmed down from last night. But he hurt me. What was with him and not caring about my feelings?

I was too much of a sap. I loved Tom, I wasn’t going to suspect anything of him. And I forgave too easily…

We just needed to talk. I was sure Tom had cooled down too. We could sit down and talk about what was going on, Tom would tell me something I wanted to hear, and I wouldn’t worry anymore.

I dragged myself out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, probably taking longer than was needed, but I was still procrastinating.

Sure, I was still mad at him, not as much, but it still hurt.

My stomach grumbled.

Oh Bill, must you always be hungry?

Well, now I needed to leave the room. I couldn’t disobey my stomach.

I slowly walked out of the room and looked around. No Tom to be found.

Maybe he was still sleeping too.

“Tomi?” I called softly.

Well, it didn’t seem like he was here.

I peeked in the other bedroom. Nope, he wasn’t there.

I sighed and went into the kitchen, grabbing some leftover pizza from the fridge.

Something on the counter got my attention. It was a note, scribbled out fast.

Going out with Alice, it was short notice. I’m sorry about last night, babe, I love you. –Tom

I sighed and tossed the note into the garbage. He’d said he was sorry but still tears came to my eyes. I got it, he’d rather spend time with Alice then me.

All these lies…when was it going to get better? When was he going to stop lying to me and tell me he really didn’t love me?

Everything was repeating itself. Always hurting me, always trying to make up for it.

No.

There was no making up for it this time.

If he got to cheat and sleep with that slut all the time thinking I wouldn’t know then I had the right to do the same to him.

I went into my room and grabbed my cell. I dialed a number and listened to a pretty voice answer.

"Hello?"

“Hey Giselle, it’s Bill.”

“Oh, hi Bill! What’s up? I haven’t talked to you in forever!” Her voice was sweet and happy.

I wasn’t like this, no I wasn’t. Usually I just sat back and let myself get hurt. But not now, not again.

“Well I was bored and Tom’s running some errands. You doing anything today?”

Yeah, errands my ass.

“Just sitting at home.”

“You wanna go out?”

“Oh, um…sure.”

“Good, I’ll pick you up in a half hour.”

“Okay, see you then.”

“Bye Giselle.”

“Bye Bill.”

My hands were shaking. What was I doing?

But I brushed the thought away. I needed sex now and Tom was never going to give it to me again, not with that hooker Alice in the way.

There was a reason those lips were red.

------

We went out to see a movie. I was so fidgety I didn’t even remember what the movie was.

She looked so beautiful. Why hadn’t I noticed her beauty before?

I was just so horny. I needed something and I didn’t care what it was.

I had an arm wrapped around her shoulders and she was lying against me.

“This is nice,” she said, smiling up at me.

I nodded, forcing a smile.

I was still fidgeting. And the coffee I’d had didn’t help.

She placed a hand on my thigh and looked up at me with a worried expression.

“Are you okay? You’re really fidgety today.”

“Oh…yeah. You know, I’m usually hyper and I had coffee today.”

She laughed softly and returned her head to my chest. I breathed in the scent of her hair, smiling happily to myself.

I’d missed being with girls. So pretty and soft and they always smelled so nice. I missed pleasuring them and being the dominant one, hearing them moan my name.

Sure I loved sex with Tom, he was amazing, but I told myself it was getting old, it was all the same.

Something was seriously wrong with me. I wanted it to stop but it just wouldn’t. I was telling myself things that for some reason I was believing.

After the movie we went back to the car and I drove her home. We chatted on idly about things, but I was nervous. I was not going to wimp out on this, no.

We walked slowly to the door of her apartment. I wrapped my hand around hers and out an arm around her shoulder. It was starting to get cool.

“I had a really great time,” she said as we got to her door, smiling warmly.

“Me too,” I returned the smile.

“You wanna…you wanna come in?” she asked, reaching into her pocket for her keys. “I’m sure you’re hungry. I could make you something if you want.”

“Okay,” I smiled, my stomach gurgling again.

------

Damn, Giselle cooked as well as Mom.

She made a nice big German meal for me and we sat and talked for almost an hour.

She was so sweet, and we were so alike. I couldn’t help myself, I was feeling some connection to her.

Giselle was so nice, I didn’t want to use her, but I had to. I wanted Tom to feel as horrible as I felt, make him understand finally how this was hurting me.

“I used to cook with my mom when I was younger. I was the oldest in my family so when she...when she passed away I took over,” she looked away.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I muttered, placing my plate on the table and patting my stomach approvingly.

“Nein, it’s okay. It was a long time ago. And it helped me prepare for when I was on my own,” she looked back at me and smiled. “I have ice cream too, if you want some.”

“Yes please!” I smiled like a little kid.

Don’t do this, don’t hurt her just to get back at Tom…

She came back to the living room with two heaping bowls of strawberry ice cream.

My cell vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Tom.

where are you, you’ve been gone all day!!

wouldn’t you like to know!

what? w/e, just come home. i have a surprise for you.

Surprise? Yeah, right. He was going to tell me he didn’t love me. No surprise there.

I threw my phone angrily down on the table.

Giselle jumped. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just Tom’s been acting…horrible to me…”

“I’m sorry, Bill,” she rubbed my arm gently, her hands were soft.

“It’s just, he knows it hurts me when we fight but he does it anyway. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I’m very close to him,” closer than you’ll ever know, “And I don’t want us to fight.”

“You should talk to him, then, and tell him that.”

“It’s not worth it.”

“I think it would be.”

I sighed. “Maybe I should go.”

“No, no, stay,” she smiled warmly, rubbing my hand.

This could be easier than I thought.

She placed her bowl down on the table and scooched closer to me.

“I really like you Bill,” she muttered, her eyes down. “You’re so sweet…and adorable…”

I lifted her face up in my hands. Her blue eyes were big and sparkling. She smiled gently.

“I really like you too,” I smiled and leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips.

When I pulled away I opened my eyes. Her eyes were still closed, a blissful look on her face.

Then she grabbed my shirt roughly and pressed her lips to mine in a forceful kiss.

So, this went much easier than I’d thought.

After the kissing and the touching and the rubbing I picked her up gently and we went to her room.

“I don’t usually do this,” she muttered, her hands sliding up my shirt as we fell upon her bed.

“So, should we stop?” I asked innocently. Good, be innocent.

“Nein, nein,” she pressed her skin to mine. “I want this with you.”

For a small girl she sure was forceful. My lips crashed into hers again.

She removed my belt with an almost professional skill and tossed it aside. It hit the ground with a soft clatter as I tore off her shirt, kissing and biting and letting my pent-up tension flood out. I let my hand roam over her body as she pulled off my jeans, over her collarbone, over the swell of her chest, down her soft stomach.

In a swirl of lust and hurried movements we were both naked. She was beautiful, soft pale skin, gentle curves, everything just begging to be touched.

This feeling, this dominance, I’d missed it so much. Finally, I didn’t have to be prepped, didn’t have to feel pain. I was the one giving, the one in control.

“Bill,” Giselle begged, digging her nails into my hips.

And I obliged her.

I knew immediately that I was getting too rough. But she didn’t seem to mind. I just had all this frustration and sexual need that I had to get out and I just got so harsh and rough that I didn’t know what I was doing. Giselle took it all in stride, though. She welcomed it and never once said ‘stop,’ or ‘slower,’ or ‘you’re hurting me,’ even though I was sure I was.

It felt amazing, though, actually being inside of someone. If I wanted to keep that moment I controlled it myself. I didn’t have to beg, didn’t have to moan anyone else’s name. I was the ruler, I commanded what happened.

Some time later, I groaned throatily and felt myself melt into her, my rush of adrenaline burnt out. And I felt horrible.

My body fell against hers, panting and tried and full of regret.

“Oh Gott,” she muttered, those soft hands of hers still feeling me, still touching me. “That was amazing.”

I smiled approvingly and pressed her to my chest, running a hand through her soft, sweet-smelling hair.

She fell asleep, her warm body against mine. Giselle didn’t fit me as well as Tom, didn’t mold to my body.

That’s because Tom and I were so the same, made for each other from when we were babies…

Oh god, what did I so...

My cell started to ring. I let her go and grabbed it from my pants on the floor.

One new Voicemail

I pressed call and listened to the message.

“Bill…I don’t know where you are and I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t want to be alone again tonight, I want to give you what you want, what we both need so badly. I know you must be angry at me, but please come home. I need to talk to you…I love you, so much. Just remember that, okay? Come home…”

I started to cry. No, I’d just ruined my life.

I looked at Giselle, her bare body sleeping soundly against the bed.

I didn’t want to leave her, but I didn’t want to ignore Tomi anymore.

So I put my clothes back on and grabbed my keys from the table in her kitchen.

I could barely drive, my eyes were so blurry from the tears. I almost swerved off the road as the tears came faster and I couldn’t stop them.

I betrayed him, I’d betrayed everything that I held dear to me.

I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears.

When I got back at the apartment, my eyes were red and puffy. They were still glistening, but I wasn’t crying.

I could not keep this from Tom.

If he admitted Alice, then I admitted Giselle.

I opened the door and almost gasped at the sight.

Everything was thrashed up, pillows thrown off the couch, pictures shattered, the coffee table on its side, stuff all over the floor. Rose petals spread out randomly all over the floor, and eerie red lighting.

Tom was standing at the sink, his back to me, a bottle of vodka in his hand. He took one big gulp of it and slammed it down upon the counter, making me jump. His fists were clenched, and his head was down.

“Tom…was this all for me?” I muttered as I looked around again.

I was scared, something wasn’t right.

“It was,” he said firmly. I could tell his teeth were gritted together as he said it.

“Was? What do you mean it was?”

“Alice called me….”

He didn’t even need to go on. I knew where this was going. My hands started to shake.

“She said she saw you coming out of Giselle’s apartment with messed up hair…”

Messed up hair? I could explain that.

But he went on. “She went inside to talk to Giselle, who was happy and said the two of you…slept together.” Tom’s voice was cold and angry on those last two words.

Oh shit, no getting out of this now.

“Tom, I…” I walked towards him.

He held up a hand. “Nein, Bill, I don’t want to hear it. I know what happened.”

“I had every right to do what I did because you were cheating on me with Alice!” I cried.

He brought his eyes up to look at me. They were so pained and his glare burned into me. “Why would you think that?! Bill I fucking love you!” he cried, his face red with anger. He gritted his teeth.

“You were out with her everyday for hours with no explanation!”

“I know, I should have fucking told you. But I was planning this for you! I was going to love you and pamper you because I’ve been neglecting you. I knew the lack of sex was getting to you but never would I believe you’d look elsewhere for it,” he brought his eyes back up to mine. “I thought you loved me. You said you loved me...”

“I…”

“You don’t love me, I understand,” his expression was rigid. “You little…” he clenched his fists. I almost thought he was going to hit me but then his face softened. A tear fell down his cheek. “Get out.”

“W-what?”

“Get out! Get out of here now!” he yelled.

“Tom, just let me…”

Without warning, he threw the bottle at me. I ducked just in time so that it didn’t hit me. It hit the wall behind me, shattering. The sound vibrated in my ears and the glass fell around my feet, the liquid splashed all over the wall and on the floor.

“I never want to see you again!” he screamed at me.

I stared at him for a few seconds. He hated me, he would never ever forgive me.

My worst fear, and all because of a stupid decision I made because I didn’t think things through.

I walked towards the door. There were a few suitcases there, with all my stuff. He didn’t want me back, not at all. I grabbed them reluctantly, my eyes blurry with stinging tears, and slammed the door behind me.

I stood behind the door for a moment before I left. I could hear Tom sobbing. Tom never cried… he was crying for me…

I had nowhere to go. I only wanted to be with him, wanted to tell him I loved him and that I was sorry.

But sorry wasn’t good enough.

I went out to the car, sitting in the fetal position in the backseat, sobbing like an idiot.

I had to think this worst and this was where it got me. No Tom, no love, no purpose for life.

He hadn’t been cheating, he’d been planning this night for me. This wonderful night with the roses and the soft music and that sweet smell of lavender, maybe a bath and some chocolate…it was all gone…all squashed by me and that voice inside my head that told me Tom had been cheating.

I sunk down to the floor and buried my face against my knees, holding myself and hoping for things to get better.

But Tom had said it himself, he never wanted to see me again…