I Only Want You for One Night

As soon as Alice left, Tom joined me in the kitchen to eat some waffles.

I was so concerned about him. He was so deathly skinny. Even just standing there he couldn’t keep his pants up, and he was wearing a belt.

“Tom, do you wanna borrow a pair of my pants? They barely fit me anyway,” I said, my mouth full of waffles.

He just giggled.

I tingled hearing him laugh. Just being near him, even though I still did feel kinda distant from him, was enough to keep me going again. I hadn’t known how much I really missed him until I had him back.

Earn my trust back…

I sat silently eating my waffles, wondering what in the world I was going to do to do that.

Something about him was just so special. I wanted to cherish him…because I knew how fast things could change from firsthand experience.

I watched him eat his waffles and frowned. Most of his muscle was gone, I was sure gonna miss it, and he was so pale.

I didn’t want to disappoint Tom again. I promised myself I wasn’t going to hurt him anymore. I couldn’t bear to see him in pain, or see the results of what this pain had done to him.

“Hey Tom?”

“Yeah, Bill?”

“I have my stuff at Mom and Gordon’s…”

“We can go get it today, love,” he said, and leaned over to give me a kiss.

I blushed and turned back to my waffles. I still felt so guilty for everything that happened. Tom had done everything for me, he would do anything in the world for me, I knew that.

I needed to think of something good…but nothing came to mind.

I was sure it would be awhile until my own conscious told me it was okay to be with Tom, because right now it still told me he was hurting and I should back off.

His hand slid onto my thigh and rubbed it gently. I twitched.

“It’s okay, Bill,” Tom said, and I turned to look at him. He was smiling. “I know you don’t think things are the same…and well, it’s not. You don’t have to keep hating yourself. I forgive you, and that’s what counts, okay?”

I nodded.

He leaned in again and placed another soft kiss on my lips. They lingered for a bit, and I shivered again, but this time it was good.

“I love you,” he whispered and pulled me onto his lap with not as much ease as he used too.

Tom pushed the hair back from my face and kissed me again. “I missed you.”

I felt myself smile. “I missed you too, so so much Tom,” I explained, entwining my fingers with his. “It’s just something in me…like I won’t forgive myself.” Involuntarily a few tears fell from my eyes.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, stroking my hair while I cried.

This had really hurt me, emotionally more than anything. I think being back with him, knowing Tom accepted my apology and was going to love me again, was probably just too overwhelming.

I couldn’t live without him.

~+~

So Mom and Gordon seeing me as a sickly weed had become pretty normal for them, even if they hated it and wanted me to get better.

But seeing Tom almost as bad as me?

Well...

Mom came to greet us in the hallway and, upon seeing not only me but Tom in this state, made her shriek and drop her cup, which, thankfully, only spilled its contents all over the floor because it landed on a rug.

"My god, Tom, what in the world...?"

He shrugged. "Missed my baby brother. At least I'm not as bad as this headcase." He nudge my arm.

My skin tingled where he touched me.

She walked over to us and wrapped her arms around him. "My oldest, my strong baby, letting himself get sick. You two are both stupid!"

Well, Mom had always been blunt.

"I know, Mother, but can we see past that and rejoice in the fact that we aren't fighting anymore and we won't be killing ourselves any longer?" he said, raising his eyebrow.

"This wouldn't have happened if you two just hadn't fought in the first place. What did you fight about anyway?"

I opened my mouth to say something, then realized I had nothing. Tom lied smoothly, though.

"He broke one of my acoustics and then didn't apologize."

"I did eventually!" I said, 'defending' myself.

"But you didn't when you first broke it. Therefore, I told you to leave. But that's old hat now, right now, we need to eat fatty foods and sit around all day. And clean up that spilled Coke."

She looked at the liquid and grimaced. "I need to learn to control my shock."

I laughed.

We went up to my makeshift room and started to clean up. I shifted around, looking at all the crumbs and old glasses and plates that I hadn't bothered to clean up while I was here.

"Sorry about the mess, Mom."

"Hey, it's okay. I've been cleaning up after you since you were born. I'm used to it by now."

"Still, I feel bad."

"You want to feel less bad?" She put the dirty dishes in my arms. "Take them to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher."

I nodded and walked downstairs, counting each step without reason.

I piled the dishes on the counter and opened the dishwasher, thinking as I did so.

Tom deserved to be treated well, and I knew that, but I had no idea how I was going to treat him. I was thinking about things to do but none of them seemed to work.

Then there was the thought of Giselle.

Did she still think that we were... a thing? I mean, I hadn't talked to her since then and I was pretty positive that Alice may have told her about... about me and Tom (Tom never told me that he told Alice but with the right observations I kind of assumed that he did) so she didn't get too attached, but I still couldn't help but wonder.

I at least needed to apologize for hitting it and quitting it. I mean, what if she had wanted more? I could have stamped on her dreams or something!

Oh god, was there any emotion I felt lately besides guilt and sadness?

I put the last glass in the dishwasher and closed it. I then heard Mom and Tom walking down the stairs, talking.

"...And just remember, Tom, that Bill is a lot more fragile than you are. I'm not saying you're a marble statue and he's a porcelain doll but he's more susceptible to being hurt than you are. He's always been more emotional than you. You're both hotheads, though, and I want you both to watch it with each other. I don't want to come over one day to see you two have beaten each other to death with frying pans and toothpicks or something."

"I know, Mom, and I promise, I will keep my temper in check. I'll only hit him with a frying pan if he breaks Linda."

I smiled as I recognized his name for his Les Paul.

"That's acceptable, but you pay the hospital bill."

I walked over to the hallway and found Mom and Tom pulling my suitcases from the stairs.

"Are we ready?" I asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet.

"Are all the dishes put in the dishwasher?" Mom asked.

"They are."

"Then you're good to go. Now, go be my boys again, not these sickly impersonations. It's like you're off being probed by aliens or something and these are the pod people they left in your place."

I giggled and took a suitcase from her and gave her a huge hug. "Thank you for putting up with my bullshit, Mom."

"Language, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Now, go, you two need to bond!"

I gave a Tom a discreet smirk.

Oh did we ever.

~+~

That night I started to think about what I would do, what I could do for Tomi, to make things up to him.

I so wanted to earn his trust back. That wasn’t a good basis for a relationship if he couldn’t trust me.

I heard the shower running, and I snuggled under the covers.

I didn’t want to disappoint him anymore. I wanted to give him my all, if I could.

I closed my eyes, still so exhausted from these recent events.

A little while later I felt Tom crawl in next to me and cool arms slip around my body.

“Bill?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, Tom?”

“Oh, I just wanted to see if you were still awake.” He stroked my hair softly.

“Yeah…” I sighed.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing.” I opened my eyes a bit, looking straight into those pools of chocolate.

“I know something’s wrong.”

“No, it’s just…” I paused, wondering what excuse to give. “I just missed you so much Tom.”

He smiled and kissed me softly a few times. “I missed you too, Bill. I’m glad to have you back.”

I snuggled my face into his neck.

Tom’s soft snoring was starting to lull me to sleep, but before I slept an idea popped into my head. I smiled slyly.

“We’ll have fun, after all, Tomi,” I whispered and closed my eyes, holding him close.

----------

My heart skipped a beat or two as Tom walked in after being gone all day and threw a hand to his mouth.

He looked around the room, smiling with delight.

And then he looked to me. “Bill, what did you do?”

“I figured we could have that night after all,” I replied joyfully, so excited for tonight.

We hadn’t made love in so long. It was getting to me, it always did.

But we’d waited, things were back to normal, and we would have that night that I’d selfishly ruined the first time.

He put down his stuff and I playfully bounced over next to him, placing my hands at his waist. His skin was again that pleasant tan color, not the pale mess of a few weeks ago. He’d been eating well, I felt his muscles again with a small squeeze of his waist.

“I spent all day working on this,” I explained. “We can have some champagne, and dinner, and…”

“Wait, you cooked?” Tomi asked with a laugh.

“Of course, love.”

“But all you can make is spaghetti,” he giggled.

“Tom, stop spoiling it. It’s take out,” I explained.

Tom smiled gorgeously and kissed my nose. “You’re so cute.”

I just smiled.

Tom’s arms wrapped around my body. “And what is planned for after dinner?” he asked softly.

“I don't know,” I muttered, lining my voice with innocence. “Maybe a nice hot bubble bath, or, you know, we have got some honey, which is much harder to suck off than chocolate.”

"Horny bastard," he murmured, kissing my shoulder.