Runaway Life With Rock Stars

Chapter 9 And One Third

"You know what?" I began. "I think I'll stay here in the hotel. You guys can go."

"Nonsense," Gerard insisted. "You said you were coming, so I'll drag you there if I have to!"

I gulped. I didn't want to go anymore. I had developed this nauseous feeling down my stomach when we had come back to the hotel. But not even. This wasn't the reason I didn't want to go. It was because I had this bad feeling. Like a grudge holding on to me and never letting go.

Charles headed to the door with his jacket on. "I'll catch up with you guys later. I have to visit someone first." And he walked out the door.

"Ah." Mikey sighed. "It's probably his grand daughter."

"Damn! She hot!" Frankie drooled. "Do you guys remember her?"

"Oh yeah," Bob said like the Kool-Aid guy. "She's pretty cool."

"Didn't she use to live in New York?" Ray questioned.

"I think she did. I mean, that's where I met her." Answered Gerard, walking to the bathroom.

"Yeah. She told me once that she had this child but had to leave it behind because she had important"—Bob quoted the word with his fingers—"things to do. That she had to clear things up a bit for her father. And that was a bit strange to me, don't you think?"

The rest of their conversation drowned out of my ears. I couldn't hear anything else but my own heartbeat pounding slowly. Cold goose bumps rose from my skin and my breathing became rapid, but I sat there quietly without a sound. My eyes looked out the window and were attracted to an alley. Just when I thought it was a still dumpster, the shadow in the alley moved, and came out into the crowd, hiding his face from the people. My hands and face automatically pressed at the window like if I was being squeezed into a tortilla machine. Could it be? Was...was that...oh my god! It was he! It was Manuel! He was here! I smiled inside. Pounding the glass in hope that he could hear it (even though I knew he couldn't, but it was worth a try). All my worries had faded away in just that second of his presence. The guys turned over to my weird behavior. I didn't feel the need to explain anything so I said, "Sorry. There was a cat out the window. I was just scaring it away."

"I didn't know cats could fly to the fifth floor," Frank teased with pealed eyes and an expression saying Really? Wow! I didn't know that!

"Uh...it was...in the other building across from our floor..." I should shut up. I suck at lying. Scaring a cat from the fifth floor? Come on, who would believe something so crappy like that? Not even a four year old I bet you.

"Are you okay?" Frank asked when I sat back at the corner of the bed. Hm....If I hurled then and there, would that drive their minds to the answer? Holy Skittles! If Manuel was here, then that meant that Tony was too! Dammit! I hadn't realized that until now. Ugh. Depression spread allover my soul once again. Then at this point is when I had the flashbacks of my life. Living in the streets, treated unfairly, kidnapped to be forced to sell drugs, and afraid of the world that revolves around me.

"No," I say in a whisper. They didn't know what to do but to glance at each other.

"I'll be fine. I'm just weird like that. If you're going to be around me, you might as well be informed with that important fact. Its complicated, but everything is okay ." They nodded their heads in full comprehension.

Gerard burst out of the restroom at that precise moment. "Ah. I feel so relieved." After stretching his arms in the air with a long yawn, he opened his eyes and looked petrified. "I thought you all left already! What are you all still doing here?" Everyone just starred at him, even I. "Did I miss something?" he asked with uncertainty. No one answered. Silence filled the room as it poured from everyone's seriousness that it felt so cold and lonely. Like if they were playing out the inside of my soul. Though, they didn't know that. I felt trapped.

Bob broke the silence first. "So let's go before they start the party without us, no?"
Gradually everyone got up from their corners of the bedroom and walked out the door, saying nothing still. Gerard stayed behind with me. I shadowed my face with my hair as I leaned my head towards my chest, suppressing the feeling of screaming out the anticipation of seeing Manuel, and the agony of the bearing thought of going back with Tony and the gang, and sadness because I haven't seen Susan since I had escaped Tony just yesterday. Wow. It was just yesterday! Time goes by slowly. I swear!

"Jaddus?" He began, moving towards me. "Jaddus? Is something bothering you?"
Yes. I totally wish I could tell you Gerard. But I can't, even if there would be something bothering me twenty-four seven. But I shook my head at him. If I told him, then he would be worried. Why would I want that? Besides, if Tony found me again, so what? I'll be beat and probably chained or have to wear one of the tracking devices he's been planning to get. In other words, continuing to live the Hell of life once more.

I sighed and he said orderly, "Well, you can't be here alone so you're coming with."
"But...but...who said you were in charge of me“—I protested but Gerard cut me off with," I feel responsible for you so I don't want any crap."

I looked at him directly in the eye. They glittered like shining stars in the desolate sky. "Why?" I questioned. I felt so useless that I couldn't do anything about it and could never find a way to repay him with all this kindness he's given me. The kindness I've never had and made me feel like a total psycho. I...I don't know if I should even stay any longer with them. Tony is dangerous. And I would never dream of getting this band into any problems. Ever. I told him these reasons, and he gave me a comforting huh (???) which made me feel like a log again. Though, this time my head rested against his chest. This moment had caused me to think it more thoroughly. I really should get away from them. It would be risky to be found by surprise with them and Tony seeing me. My frown deepened into my face. He smiled at me when he brought my chin up with his gentle finger. "Nuh-uh. Nothing will happen. So don't worry. You're coming." And grabbing my wrist, he dragged me off.