Fork and Knife

I have been doing this whole ‘music’ business for quite some time now. I know my band mates love it, and all the privileges, attention and adoring fans that come with it, but I did not so much. It wasn’t the fact that I didn’t appreciate having the opportunity to play my guitar every night, with my four best friends, to people who loved me, but I’m just the kid from Las Vegas Nevada who got lucky posting some shitty songs onto different record company’s websites. I want to be back in my best friends lounge room, playing shitty band covers of my favourite bands from when I was just a kid, I never imagined such a life I would lead, I never imagined all this would happen.

So today is nothing spectacular. Wake up, Shower, get dressed, Flick through as many pages of ‘The road upon we see’ as I can. Mom called, inquiring when the tour would be over/ how many days left on tour/ when I would take time off from tour/ and to pick up some Crispy Creams that you can only get over here in the states. Not that I ever got ‘Hey Ryan, how’s tour? Love mom.’ I had a few messages from Brendon, A missed call from Pete and e-mail from my past, someone that I was trying so hard to erase, and dropping me unwanted e-mails isn’t helping.

For the rest of the day I cooped myself up in my bunk just going through ‘something corporate’ not really feeling like partying with the others. Until the bus door flew upon, and three wasted boys made there way in, ruining my peace and quite.
‘‘Ryyy-Ryyyyyy’’ Brendon’s high-pitched drunk voice called out. You know when he’s drunk when they use that ridiculous nickname. I sighed and answered him still in my bunk with the curtain closed. “Yes Brendon?” He poked his head through my curtain and climbed in snuggling up really close to me being Brendon. “Ryyyyyaaannn, why didn’t you come part-AY with uss” he asked stumbling over his words taking a swig of some drink in his hand “Brendon we’ve been over this. I don’t WANT to go out and ‘part-ay’ because all you guys ever do is get drunk, spew everywhere and then remember absolutely nothing in the morning.” I replied with absolutely no emotion as we’d been over this a thousand times, and every time he gets drunk he just forgets all this. “…Yeeahh, but why didn’t you come paattyy with us??”
Oh geeze. “Brendon, go to bed, you smell bad.” I replied annoyed pushing him out of my bunk and onto the ground.

It was about 1am when shiny toy guns ‘don’t cry out’ woke me up setting of my sidekick. It was probably the most annoying song, and one that I hated the most, so I knew EXACTLY who it was.

Claudia. flashed across the screen.

I rolled my eyes, really not wanting to have whatever conversation she wanted to have, as I would some how end up letting down my guard, and allowing her to take advantage of me, take her back, hang up and regret the whole damn thing.
I slowly rolled around in my bed, tangling myself more in my sheets until I fell onto the ground with a ‘umph’ but reached my phone just in time.

“Hello” I replied as the ring tone almost ran out as I mentally debated whether or not to answer the phone. I knew apart of me wanted to hear her voice again, while the other half didn’t want to go through the torture that is the relationship you have with Claudia Geldoff

“Ryan! I miss you, where are you?” Claudia’s fake high pitched voice rang through. “Claudia, I’m on tour, in Los Angeles, remember?” There was silence on the other line as she searched through her brain, through the reaming memory that wasn’t killed off by alcohol. “Oh yeah, how silly of me! When can I come see you?” She giggled and then pulled out the blue. Claudia, I really DON’T want to see you. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. What the fuck is this, Dr Seuss? “Uhm, I don’t know.” Smooth Ryan. Real smooth.

She giggled at my obvious stupidity. “Oh Ry, your stupid. I’m coming out to L.A in a couple of weeks, mkay? Jennifer has arranged for me to do some shots at their famous beaches!” Im sure she didn’t have Claudia come all the way to L.A just for a couple of shots of the fucking beach. Claudia may be on the internet and known by all the 12 year old, with no life wanting to be ‘just like her’ and most definetly did not have an ‘agent’ as she calls Jennifer, her aunt. But I played along, if I please her then she will be satisfied and hang up and leave me the fuck alone. “Did she now?” she giggled again “No, but she will. Just so I can see my Ry!” Oh great. “Well Claudia, it’s pretty late I have to go, maybe see you later.” I said trying to get rid of her

“Noo Ryyan I want to talk to you, I haven’t seen you in forever!” I rolled my eyes “Claudia, that’s because you call once in a full moon, and right now you decide to call me at like what, 1 o’clock in the morning!?” I replied getting super annoyed and starting to raise my voice “What is that supposed to mean?” Nice work Ryan. You don’t want to piss her off, and that’s exactly what you go and do. “Look Claudia, I don’t have time for this, I have to go”. I replied, for once standing up for myself and ending this conversation “No Ryan! You listen to me, you are on the roa-.” And the line went dead as I pulled the phone away from my ear, hung up, and turned off my sidekick, throwing it under my bed, as though stopping her from being able to have contact with me.

Seeing as Claudia had pretty much put me off sleeping, as I was afraid I might have a disturbing dream about her, I decided to grab my clandestine hoodie, courtesy of pete, and went out for a walk, at 1:20 am, to …clear my head.

I hadn’t gotten too far, until I reached a trusty Starbucks. Im not a big fan of coffe, but it always seems to keep Brendon on alert so I figured I’d give it a try. I walked in with the bell above the door going off. I made my way over to the counter glancing over the menu and ordered just a plain caramel latte. Nothing too fancy, but I didn’t often buy coffee. I took my coffee, and turned to find a small booth to retreat too, when it really hit me, it was completely deserted. I found a booth next to the window and as I made my way over, I saw around the corner there were more tables, and one girl with flowing black hair with red highlights, and a rainbow fringe.
Ew, gross.

I made my way to the booth, drinking my coffee, but starring at her back the whole time, not taking into consideration, what would happen if she just so decided to turn her head and look my way.