Fork and Knife
Every Picture You Paint, I Will Paint Myself Out
It had been two years since I had seen my band members. Let alone, anyone from the Fueled by Ramen family. March 2nd, 2007 we were sued by Brent. He sued us for kicking him out of the band and not paying him his rightful royalties. It was a complete load of bullshit, but he had changed. Everyone had changed and people who you think are your friends are usually people just waiting to stab to you in the back.
That night I found Danhiel I brought her home with me to Vegas where we would never again be troubled by Michael or her past problems. We were both living in my small one bedroom apartment; my landlord had kicked me out after a year after I got back from tour, I couldn’t get a decent job to pay for it. I was working at some shity gas station which was a new low for me. Danhiel couldn’t even get a small job, she had a bad heroin addiction and I was trying my hardest to earn money to keep a roof over our heads and for her to be able to go to a rehabilitation centre. It wasn’t working though.
Six months later we were evicted from our apartment and forced to move into s small trailer. The kitchen/dinning room/lounge room where all the same rooms and then there was the bedroom and the bathroom joining onto the bathroom. Life was really dishing us out its worst hand right now, and the only thing that kept me going was knowing I had Danhiel to come home to every night. Two months things did start to look up, Danhiel got a job. I definitely wasn’t happy but there was nothing I could say that would change her mind. She was working as a stripper at the local strip club, and happened to be one of their main attractions. She had the prize winning legs and men would pay double just to see her on stage for five minutes.
Some nights I would come home and find Danhiel passed out on the couch with cigarettes and cocaine surrounding her and when she came too I would be crying and we would just end up screaming at each other and then I would wake up the next morning on the couch.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse... They did.
“Oh hunny, I’m home” I called coming into the trailer “Fuck!” Danhiel cried standing over the stove “what? What happened?” I asked coming up beside her she turned to me and pouted “I burnt the cheese” she said. I usually would have laughed at how cute she looked right now, if the situation wasn’t so frustrating. Dinner for this week was grilled cheese sandwiches; until we would run out of cheese then it would just be bread. Look’s as though we’ve now run out of cheese. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair “fuck” I muttered under my breathe kicking the wall “Fuck!” I yelled a bit louder. Danhiel just stood by and watched with tears in her eyes.
“Ryan! Stop it! Please, stop it!” She yelled taking my arms and taking my face in hers. I immediately calmed down closing my eyes as her cold hands caressed my face. Finally everything that had been going wrong caught up with my and I just cried and buried my face in the crook of her neck. She stroked my hair and told me everything was going to be alright. I wrapped my arms around her thin waste. She was slowly fading away and when I had her in my arms I could nearly wrap my arms around and touch my shoulders.
We both went to bed hungry that night, fearful for whatever tomorrow would bring.
I wouldn't dare ask my friends for money. I don't even want to know what they would think of me now
That night I found Danhiel I brought her home with me to Vegas where we would never again be troubled by Michael or her past problems. We were both living in my small one bedroom apartment; my landlord had kicked me out after a year after I got back from tour, I couldn’t get a decent job to pay for it. I was working at some shity gas station which was a new low for me. Danhiel couldn’t even get a small job, she had a bad heroin addiction and I was trying my hardest to earn money to keep a roof over our heads and for her to be able to go to a rehabilitation centre. It wasn’t working though.
Six months later we were evicted from our apartment and forced to move into s small trailer. The kitchen/dinning room/lounge room where all the same rooms and then there was the bedroom and the bathroom joining onto the bathroom. Life was really dishing us out its worst hand right now, and the only thing that kept me going was knowing I had Danhiel to come home to every night. Two months things did start to look up, Danhiel got a job. I definitely wasn’t happy but there was nothing I could say that would change her mind. She was working as a stripper at the local strip club, and happened to be one of their main attractions. She had the prize winning legs and men would pay double just to see her on stage for five minutes.
Some nights I would come home and find Danhiel passed out on the couch with cigarettes and cocaine surrounding her and when she came too I would be crying and we would just end up screaming at each other and then I would wake up the next morning on the couch.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse... They did.
“Oh hunny, I’m home” I called coming into the trailer “Fuck!” Danhiel cried standing over the stove “what? What happened?” I asked coming up beside her she turned to me and pouted “I burnt the cheese” she said. I usually would have laughed at how cute she looked right now, if the situation wasn’t so frustrating. Dinner for this week was grilled cheese sandwiches; until we would run out of cheese then it would just be bread. Look’s as though we’ve now run out of cheese. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair “fuck” I muttered under my breathe kicking the wall “Fuck!” I yelled a bit louder. Danhiel just stood by and watched with tears in her eyes.
“Ryan! Stop it! Please, stop it!” She yelled taking my arms and taking my face in hers. I immediately calmed down closing my eyes as her cold hands caressed my face. Finally everything that had been going wrong caught up with my and I just cried and buried my face in the crook of her neck. She stroked my hair and told me everything was going to be alright. I wrapped my arms around her thin waste. She was slowly fading away and when I had her in my arms I could nearly wrap my arms around and touch my shoulders.
We both went to bed hungry that night, fearful for whatever tomorrow would bring.
I wouldn't dare ask my friends for money. I don't even want to know what they would think of me now