Fork and Knife
Stay Eighteen Forever
We pulled back upside ‘Hannah’s’ house, and I walked up her shitty half stoned driveway, to find her kneeling in the front yard with a small white glow in front of her. I cautiously walked up to her, afraid that if she saw me she would turn into some wolverine and bite my head off.
Yeah that was stupid Ryan, your stupid, go play in traffic.
“Hey uh… Hannah?” I said quietly coming up behind her. She jumped and spun around, almost burning her hand from the small flame growing in front of her “God, Ryan? What the fuck is wrong with you kid?? Just go home!” She said frustrated and eager to get rid of me. I was taken aback, but there was so much about this girl, that just in knowing her for a short amount of time, I wanted to know more. I had to know more. “W-what are you doing?” I stuttered out, afraid of her action, and afraid if I was right. She jumped up, frustrated with my stubbornness, and ignoring her request to leave.
She came over to me and literally tried to push me out of the front garden, and down the barely-there cobble steps. But I wasn’t going let her push me around, I wanted to get to know this girl, even though she clearly wanted nothing to do with me. And I wasn’t prepared to be pushed around in another relationship. I was about halfway back down towards the side of the road where the cabbie used to be, when I stopped my body. I just stood there. And although I am quite skinny, she is still small and I had a lot of good height on her, which overruled and she just gave up and stormed off back over to her little ‘camp fire’ she had going on, but something inside of me stopped her and before she was as far as 50 centimetres from me, I grabbed her arm and gently turned her back to face me.
She had tears in her eyes that she was trying to hold back and was slightly shaking. “Hannah, please tell me what’s going on.” I said as calmly as I could “I told you! Don’t calm me Hannah! And it’s none of your business. Just go. Leave me alone go back to your big fame and fortune and your stupid tour bus with your stupid tour mates and your stupid-“ But I cut her off, by wrapping my arms around her and bringing her closer to me. Tonight I was feeling pretty bold for myself. But she was shaken up, and really just needed someone to hold her, and although I know deep down she wouldn’t want that to be me. But deep deep down, I know I more so was holding her, more to have her close to me than to comfort her.
“Please?” I begged for her to tell me. Her head was still buried in my chest and my arms were securely around her, any tighter and I might her, if I could even muster up that much strength. She slowly pulled out of my grasp, to look me in the eyes, my eyes that were begging her to tell me. “Some things… some things are just better left unknown and forgotten.” She looked down with disappointment and then completely freed herself from my grasp. “What was it? What are you burning.” She looked down, then wiped her eyes and nose still looking down. “The hospital records. I couldn’t stay overnight, because I can’t afford to pay for it. So whatever the payment was for the time I was there was the document placed at the end of me bed, so I’m … destroying the evidence.”
The whole time, her eyes not meeting mine. “You should go Ryan.” She said after an eternity of us just standing there, her not looking at me, and myself never taking my eyes off her. “You shouldn’t be here. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.” She said backing up and every step she took I walked closer to her “But I want to know yo-” But she immediately cut me off “No Ryan, you don’t ok. Please, just go home.” She said for the last time turning around and retreating back into her shack leaving the already burning out fire to completely burn out.
Yeah that was stupid Ryan, your stupid, go play in traffic.
“Hey uh… Hannah?” I said quietly coming up behind her. She jumped and spun around, almost burning her hand from the small flame growing in front of her “God, Ryan? What the fuck is wrong with you kid?? Just go home!” She said frustrated and eager to get rid of me. I was taken aback, but there was so much about this girl, that just in knowing her for a short amount of time, I wanted to know more. I had to know more. “W-what are you doing?” I stuttered out, afraid of her action, and afraid if I was right. She jumped up, frustrated with my stubbornness, and ignoring her request to leave.
She came over to me and literally tried to push me out of the front garden, and down the barely-there cobble steps. But I wasn’t going let her push me around, I wanted to get to know this girl, even though she clearly wanted nothing to do with me. And I wasn’t prepared to be pushed around in another relationship. I was about halfway back down towards the side of the road where the cabbie used to be, when I stopped my body. I just stood there. And although I am quite skinny, she is still small and I had a lot of good height on her, which overruled and she just gave up and stormed off back over to her little ‘camp fire’ she had going on, but something inside of me stopped her and before she was as far as 50 centimetres from me, I grabbed her arm and gently turned her back to face me.
She had tears in her eyes that she was trying to hold back and was slightly shaking. “Hannah, please tell me what’s going on.” I said as calmly as I could “I told you! Don’t calm me Hannah! And it’s none of your business. Just go. Leave me alone go back to your big fame and fortune and your stupid tour bus with your stupid tour mates and your stupid-“ But I cut her off, by wrapping my arms around her and bringing her closer to me. Tonight I was feeling pretty bold for myself. But she was shaken up, and really just needed someone to hold her, and although I know deep down she wouldn’t want that to be me. But deep deep down, I know I more so was holding her, more to have her close to me than to comfort her.
“Please?” I begged for her to tell me. Her head was still buried in my chest and my arms were securely around her, any tighter and I might her, if I could even muster up that much strength. She slowly pulled out of my grasp, to look me in the eyes, my eyes that were begging her to tell me. “Some things… some things are just better left unknown and forgotten.” She looked down with disappointment and then completely freed herself from my grasp. “What was it? What are you burning.” She looked down, then wiped her eyes and nose still looking down. “The hospital records. I couldn’t stay overnight, because I can’t afford to pay for it. So whatever the payment was for the time I was there was the document placed at the end of me bed, so I’m … destroying the evidence.”
The whole time, her eyes not meeting mine. “You should go Ryan.” She said after an eternity of us just standing there, her not looking at me, and myself never taking my eyes off her. “You shouldn’t be here. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.” She said backing up and every step she took I walked closer to her “But I want to know yo-” But she immediately cut me off “No Ryan, you don’t ok. Please, just go home.” She said for the last time turning around and retreating back into her shack leaving the already burning out fire to completely burn out.